12.30.2014

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 2 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 1 9 ♥: Dies Tyr

This is a letter that I wrote to: +TaylorSwift13 .  today;  That I pray to the Goddess that +Taylor Alison Swift responds favorably to with an affirmative.

From: +Brent Ryan 
Subject: Proposal

Merry Meet Tay Tay! :D


Your birthday and Christmas has been wonderstruk, I hope.

I abundantly adore, admire, and am in love with 'you'.  I know this is true because I desire to help you choose to feel loved, joyful, and happy;  Instead of helping what I choose to want or think.

My own parents think I am crazy and they may be right.  Though I feel I am safe as long as I respect your wants more than myself.  I pray daily for the Goddess to help me move on if I am wrong.

Your voice helps immeasurably the choice to be happy, for me.  Except for yours, enjoying any other artist's complete discography I have yet to find.

Will you marry me?


Love,
Brent Ryan
[[address]]

11.14.2014

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 6 ♥ 1 3 ♥ Dies Ma

I am reclaiming the term "#Liberal" from the #Statists of the #Democrats. +TheDemocrats ceased being liberal over a century ago when the +Carnegie Arts Center Foundation 'fingers' {child foundations} corrupted them and took them over in the name of socialism.

As socialism failed spectacularly, they have continually sought to rename themselves to confuse the ever increasing voters who are barely educated past 8th grade. Only the #DistrictofColumbia Mafia stooges and the Main Stream Media continue this error in proper English. This is one of the ways they have successfully kept voters divided into one political camp that they claim is 'two'.

Neo-classical Liberalism has largely redeemed th +GOP: "Republicrat" Party for th most part. There are still District of Columbia MOB faction stoogies such as Carl Rove, Bill O'Reilly, Charles Krauthammer, et cetera that successfully corrupt far too many citizens entering District of Columbia as a new politician. Their corrupting influence is only withstood and prevailed against, apparently by those who display extraordinary and true morals & ethics.

Seemingly most of th District of Columbia faction fail to even be aware of each other, let alone themselves. However, their goals are always the same, to increase power to th District of Columbia {which is th Federal Government} at th expensive of individual liberty of all citizens of th United States of America.

#PotUS #Barry #Soetoro is demonized but he is only a symptom of th statist corruption of th District of Columbia that society itself has allowed to happen. I in fact prayed for Barry to 'appear' a decade ago to WAKE PEOPLE UP. Seemingly exactly that has happened. Th alternative was to be boiled alive 'slowly'; Which only a very few would continue to notice until it was far far far too late.

Liberalism redeeming the GOP has caused a schism within th one political party th Media portrays as 'two'. Th true racists, misogynists, et cetera are the Democrats. As a result most legislation, in the past half a century, that restricts individual liberty and harms minorities comes from them.

The biographies of histories's Statist role-models such as Hitler, Mussolini, General Mao Zedong, Stalin, et cetera illustrate that th Dark Side {Fear, Anger, Loss} is at the very core of statism. Racism, misogynism, et cetera comes as natural to a truly mentally ill statist as breathing air or drinking water.

Thank you for sharing your Force;  May the Goddess bless you.

11.10.2014

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 6 ♥ 0 9 ♥ Dies Phaeton

Keeping a rekord of my letters to +Taylor Swift on twitter became a little complicated as I had more than one account.  One was personal and the other political.  Then I merged them and thus the complication of keeping it as a list for my beloved to follow whenever she chooses to want.

Here is the rekord after the merging.

Here is the rekord before the merging.

Anyone following the first may notice I had thought @YouStillLoveMe was a secondary account for her.  I believe the profile photo is of +Taylor Swift and an unpublished photo.  Thus when it 'followed' me I thought it was her following me.  I was overjoyed, and showed it by @ing both accounts in a tweet.

After following @YouStillLoveMe for a while, I am unsure whether it is really her or not.  It could be but I am unsure about its validity.  Therefore I stopped, then I decided to forgo Twitter and a new rekord on Google Plus.

Below is the thread.  The advantage for both of us is that it is easy to follow and respond too and continue.


I pray to the Goddess constantly to guide my actions to manifest the ideal wife of my dreams. The Goddess perennially refocuses my mind's eye on +Taylor Swift.  That is how I justify my belief objectively.

Subjectively I adore, admire, and am in love with her +Taylor Swift's psyche, her music, her voice, her singing, her history, her life.  I feel jealous when I hear she is dating someone;  However, of course, I pray to the goddess to perpetually sever all fear, doubt, loss, and jealousy from my super ego, and ego.  I believe I have gotten rather proficient at expelling the proclivity to obsess over her.

Anyone reading this may think that I am crazy and sometimes I agree.  However accepting reasoning that I may be crazy automatically negates the possibility.  By definition, the ability to use reason and logic fails crazy people.

Obsession is a singular selfish feeling and perception.  I know first hand because I have been obsessed about many things in my life.  After three decades I finally found the courage to ask the Goddess to illuminate a path from me out of the Dark Side and into the Light Side.

The Goddess does what we ask of Her.  Free will means that She waits for us to actually ask.  Her omnipotence, omnipresence, and indivisibility is what drives this process.

The reason I am posting this on my blog is because my blog is my diary, journal, rekord.  As a wonderful benefit, this post makes it easier for me to continue the rekord.

I believe could 'email' +Taylor Swift because I think that I do know it;  However that would be outrageously counter productive towards what we choose to want.  Though I do pray that her ego is not waiting for me to email her privately instead of using this public format to profess my eternal wish to face the future with her.

Something else that I pray the Goddess for is for my death;  Unless "my the ideal wife of my dreams sweeps me off my feet and elopes with me".  I mean, I refuse to 'stalk' or otherwise actually force myself on +Taylor Swift.  Even in the abundantly infinitesimal probability of success I would still loose because that fails to be what I want.

I want exactly what I have said already; To face the future with +Taylor Swift.  I abhor the idea of anyone seeing her as a conquest or trophy, let alone myself.  I loathe the idea of any way of consciously controlling her.

A skeptic may accuse me of wanting +Taylor Swift's money;  Except there are other wealthy single women.  So why anyone in my position would focus on a 'celebrity' for their money is unreasonable and illogical.  My actual response to that idea is that is the wrong way to approach becoming wealthy.

I mean, wealthy people gain their wealth by spending less than they acquire.  I live with my parents and am disabled;  And, my doctor has been outrageously uncooperative with communicating with the state regarding my disability.  Therefore I have been forced by necessity to find a way to live that helps me the most to choose to be happy.

Being clinically depressed and disabled with Psoriatic Arthritis feeds into each other.  Anyone with a chronic pain disease knows what I am talking about.  We dislike being active and lack of being active promotes depression.  By necessity I have had to find on my own ways to rebuild my self-esteem, confidence, and happiness.

Therefore my perception of money is different than the aggregate of society choose to believe.  I believe my way is closer to the truth because it fits better into the Prime Material.

That is that money is like water in that it is fluid and ever changing.  It is far from the root of anything let alone, 'Evil'.  By the Goddess's will money will be accessible for me to accomplish whatever I truly choose to want.  I mean, most of what people think they want is wrong.  They think they want it because of a variety of sources except themselves.

For instance, my father thinks owning a dual-wheel 4x4 Dodge Hemi uber pick-up truck makes him a man's man.  That is wrong.

Another example of my father is that he bought a chandeler a decade ago to replace one that was broken.  He thinks he is the 'man' of the house and the 'man' is handy and fixes what is broken.  Yet for a decade he chose to do everything except install the new chandeler.  It took one of my mom's best friends coming in to 'install' it, in order to motivate my father.

Yet another example is that we used to own a Camper that fits in the bed of a pick-up.  Except for the longest time we failed to have one.  The Camper was also rotting, infested with rodents, wasps, and generally in a state of ruin.  Therefore my mother 'sold' the Camper to the same best friend as before.  He really is a good friend.

So when the time came for the best friend to pick up the camper my father finally puts 2 and 2 together and realizes something is happening and steps out of the house.  He then is 'upset' that my mother sold the Camper that he failed to use.

Anyway I think I will stop writing now because I am rambling.  This is about +Taylor Swift and how we are married in the eyes of the Goddess.  If Tay Tay chooses to recognize and accept me then groovey.  Otherwise I am done with this life-cycle.  I have learned all my current and past lessons have to teach and wish to end this continual holding pattern I seem to be in.

The holding pattern would be fine except I am living in monumental emotional pain.  I ask the Goddess for assistance and all I get is the same person who appears to be happy without me.  That is great!  I want +Taylor Swift, or whoever is the ideal wife of my dreams, to be blissfully happy however she chooses to want.  I simply wish to continue seeing it from the Spiritual Plane instead of here on the Prime Material.

9.29.2014

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 4 ♥ 1 7 ♥ Dies Phaeton

Loving comic books and especially movies based on comic books certainly helps;  However, I believe that those who have wondered what happens after and between events in an epic will find Marvel Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. blissfully entertaining.

The creators of the show and the movies do a wonderstrukk play of consistently weaving the stories from the movies into one world.  The Marvel Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. series goes further with illuminating and illustrating what happens after Iron Man, Captain America, et cetera save the world.  The series has its own stories that have their own part to play in the larger tapestry of the Marvel materia.

Marvel Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s first season's main story arc culminated with a different point of view to the new Captain America: Winter Soldier.  The second season has just started;  Therefore, I believe it will be interesting to see what movie the second season ties into and the part it will play.

The writers do a masterful job of helping the entire Marvel materia to be more believable.  Every character and event has a myriad of levels, and are individualistically unique.  From;  The young orphan technological savant girl, Skye's quest to find her birth parents.  Or;  Discovering T.A.H.I.T.I. and how it relates to Agent Phil Coulson's biblical resurrection.  To;  Handling the materia left after the alien invasion Thor thwarted.

I have been imagining a show such as Marvel Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. for a very long time now.  I never thought it likely until I started learning more about manifesting.  Even now I just connected the dots as I am typing.

In an effort to manifest the next stage, I pray and beg the Goddess to absolutely manifest a story in the Star Wars omniverse of: The Old Republic.  For those who struggle to understand dues machina, Disney deciding to grant my prayer is the Goddess responding 'through' them.  Of course, I could be wrong and just any Star Wars television series would help the most with my choice to be happy.







In the Latin language Dies, translates into American English as: "Day of".  I refer to the moon as Luna or Phaeton, and the later because I believe that is the largest chunk of earth left of the planet that orbited between Mars and Jupiter.  May be the majority of society disagrees with this assessment of mine, but I find that irrelevant.  I refuse to let society dictate to me what I name objects.

When a Statist says "conservative" their intention is to convey that the subject 'resists change' and is 'traditional' in all ways.  This is the true and original definition of the word.  It probably originates from when the Democrat Party was actually a libertarian oriented party, and refers to their opposition.

When a Republican or Tea Party sapien says "conservative" they are referring to a libertarian system of beliefs, such that the President of the United States Ronald Reagan materialized.  It appears those that continue to support this delusional view are actually statists themselves.  The opposition that actually exemplify libertarian views refuse to let this failure in language continue.

Of this language disparity, I absolutely and abundantly beg and pray for the Goddess to absolutely manifest the majority to correct this mistake in language.  The different definitions only helps the Statist's with their propaganda brainwashing campaign, in addition derision being its very nature.



Of course, the lame stream media is reporting "Republican" taking over the Senate as becoming more likely.  This was decided a long time ago, but the Statist have their story to tell as they try, and fail, to retain their power.  As Atlas Shrugged's John Galt says: "join us, or get out of the way".

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9.28.2014

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 4 ♥ 1 6 ♥ Dies Sol

Four out of five stars four entertainment value is what I give this 2014 Constantine series.  Anyone who is a fan of Supernatural such as I, will probably enjoy at least this pilot episode.  I enjoy the detail, acting, and open feeling of the scenes.  The story progresses unhindered by the seemingly coherent world the writers have succeeded establishing in the pilot itself.

A young woman, Liv Aberdine, awakens into a preternatural heritage when a demonic entity begins hunting and stalking her.  Recovering from a recent personal tragedy that damned John Constantine's soul to hell alone with a female prepubescent child, a confident and sinful nan preternatural investigator seeks out and saves Miss Aberdine's life.  The later is who the television who narrates, and whom the series is named after.  Though whether his confidence actually crosses the line of arrogance that it straddles, has want for further illumination.

The mythos of Constantine began as a comic book.  There has been a movie starring Keanu Reeves and Rachel Weisz.  Personally I would rather they have continued the story from the movie into a television series.  However, I give this 2014 series four out of five stars for entertainment value.

I keep getting the idea that they are intentionally working off of the style of the iconic television show Supernatural.  With more than nine seasons and one spin-off, it is far from a bad source to draw inspiration from.  Constantine uses a couple of the same fictional materia from Supernatural.




Early evening I took my evening medication.  Among the pills a couple are to help me sleep, but they failed to get me into NeverNeverLand.

Yesterday evening I mowed the lawn with my mother.

This morning I awoke at around 10:00 again against my explicit prayers to be taken.  I feel I am able to share the following more concisely.  Daily I pray for the Goddess to absolutely and abundantly help me die quickly and painlessly before I wake;  Or absolutely, abundantly, eternally, and implicitly help me manifest as the dream ideal husband in the ideal marriage with the ideal wives of our dreams.

As I have said before I am without focusing on any individual to 'be' my wife.  Even if that proved successful it is wrong to deny someone else their Goddess given right to liberty.

Sadness and depression is without anything to do with this choice.  I am void all desire to live any life other than what I stated.  Thus begins the illumination of my frustration.  The Goddess helps illuminate everything else in my life but this She ignores me.  Why?

I am without risk of committing suicide now because primarily of my mother.  My parents would struggle to survive my death, as I am told most parents do.  Having officials still living on the Prime Material label my death as due to 'natural' causes is the only way my mother would choose to accept.  That has been what has kept me safe in the past.

Recently I am abundantly mindful to be positive in all actions, thoughts, and feelings during my conscious moments.  That positivism has helped me see that 'performing' an act with the intent of self harm is wrong.  Choosing to leave my body, mortal coil, or corporeal shell is abundantly different.

I played World of Warcraft some today.  With my Night Elf Druid Azteria, I ran through the Magister's Terrace on the Isle of Quel'Danas with my mother.  The last boss did not have what we want this time.  Hopefully he will tomorrow.

I helped my mother fold and (un)load some laundry, trash, and dishes.  My father is a giant leech when it comes to house work.  I know he fails to do it intentionally he simply was taught to think this way from birth.  However, that fails to be an acceptable excuse by the aggregate of society.  He is lucky that my mother chooses to buck the norm and accept it.

As an example, father likes to reuse peanut butter jars to hold materia.  However despite being the only one who makes the choice to want this;  He refuses to actually clean the jars himself.  To make the scenario more comical, he already has thirteen unused/empty peanut butter jars.  He will literally dig through the trash to find peanut butter jars that mom or I throw away.

So we have chosen to become quiet adept at hiding them in the trash from father.

Father creates ten times more dishes than I do, and yet he expects mother or 'I' to clean all the dishes by our-self.  I am absolutely and abundantly for helping the family with household choirs.  Afterall I am disabled and I am without material wealth.  What I am against is chosen inequitable relationships.

I find it comical that my current situation that I wish to leave... is who P.o.t.U.S. Barry Soetoro thinks is his primary voter.  However, I would rather die than have the government give me anything.

I have chosen to accept some forms of material assistance only after my parents repeatedly begging.  I find the whole situation humiliating to be compelled to go against my beliefs in this way.  That probably feeds into my desire fueling my daily prayer enumerated above.

9.26.2014

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 4 ♥ 1 4 ♥ Dies Ma

A person with a high suspension of disbelief, or a pessimistic outlook on life enjoy's "Person of Interest" the most, I believe.

An Artificial Intelligence {A.I.} orchestrates a clandestine militia of vigilantes with military service background.  The A.I. primarily speaks through numbers to anyone but a reformed technology specialized genius young adult member of the militia.  Last Day of War, this story began it's fourth season as a television series called Person of Interest.

Columbia Broadcasting System {C.B.S.} has been a station that I have avoided primarily due to lack of interest in their shows.  Person of Interest has been an exception in the channel's history of failing to support shows that I favor past a first season despite receiving high ratings.

I have had mixed feelings about the stories Jonathan Nolan writes in various episodes of Person of Interest.  I have questioned myself whether I really wanted to watch the next episode or if I want to do something else.  Nevertheless, I have continued to watch the series from the beginning.  I enjoy the characters and learning more about their continued adventures.

Happy I am with the episode Panopticon as it begins the fourth season of Person of Interest.  I loved the show;  And ironically I feel it begins with the clandestine vigilante militia absolutely abundantly better off now than when season three ended.  Though, they really only had one direction to go as last season ended at rock bottom.

I believe Mr. Reese and Ms. Shaw would do very well to shift their perception to positive thinking as the seminar they visited suggests.  Their negativity may be where a lot of my misgivings for the show comes from.  Jonathan Nolan has a slightly distorted view of how the world manifests itself, I believe.  Perforce, the characters's future leads to death and failure.

Suspension of disbelief is something I value very much.  I favor avoiding letting any show's flaws prevent me from being entertained.  Therefore, I overlook my reservations easily.



Yesterday I woke up around 09:00 in the morning.  I started playing World of Warcraft.

I worked on Ianelle's {Alliance, Human, Hunter} herbalism and alchemy.  I got them almost ready to go into the Northrend continent.  I believe that I will finish the zone I am in the Outlands and then move to Northrend.

I continued quing for specific dungeons' once and completing the quests in that dungeon.  Though my heirloom gear is holding me back from the most recent dungeon that is available at level 78.

I took Ariel Miss Scarlett Ryan out back and played with the Frizbee with her until she was tired.  She loved it as normal.

I watched the shows Marvel Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Forever, and Person of Interest later.

9.23.2014

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 4 ♥ 0 1 ♥ Dies Taijutsu

Three out of five stars for the cable network 'Lifetime Television Channel's new television series The Lottery.  The show centers around a female heroine doctor, a male United States of America Army veteran, and the black female C.o.S. {Chief of Staff} to the P.o.t.U.S. {Present of the United States}, and a half baked Dystopian world view driven by a global infertility.

The heroine potentially saves our species by fertilizing and creating a hundred embryos;  And, the story is about the power struggle to control them, set against the backdrop of the scientists figuring out what they did right so that they can fertilize more and 'cure' the global infertility.

As mentioned previously the show is set in a half baked dystopian world that is only partially realized.  The world seems as if the writers and producers shared a religious vision, whom refuse to flesh it out past the initial concept.  Literally the story crosses the globe;  However, what they viewer see are scenes that 'appear' as if the filming barely even leaves Los Angeles, let alone California.

I love how the show illustrates how corrupt D.C. {District of Columbia} is and why.  The writers do seem to understand the mental illness that is statism.  I doubt most of the D.C. M.O.B. {Money Over Bitches} thugs even realize who or what they are, except their primary focus is maintaining and increasing their own power.  They fail to see how the D.C. is separated from the rest of America, And to them D.C. is the nation.

The writers and producers are somewhat obvious with their plot mechanics.  Laying back and "enjoying" shows is what I cherish most.  Therefore, for me to see plot elements in the show, I find rather ridiculous.  Hopefully, for Marley Shelton I am wrong and the show gets renewed for a second season.  Though, I doubt D.C. types enjoy yet another vector illuminating how utterly evil they are.



For those wondering, yes conspiracies are everywhere.  A few conspiracies are even illuminated periodically by the Light.  True negative thinkers should try actually reading the definition of a conspiracy.  A few may even realize that I speak truly.

The government can and does keep many secrets.  The myth that they are unable too is a red haring that they enjoy very much.  How many clandestine groups there are is beyond me, however I am sure there are many forming and dispersing every day.



I also love watching Marley Shelton having so much air time.  She is a beautiful woman and appears to really get into her characters, I believe.  Unfortunately, watching her and her character may be the only reason I continue watching the show past it's third episode.  Unfortunate for the show that is, as my personal journal entries have extrapolated on my turbulent psyche.

The appearance of a person's body tells an astute observer everything about the subjects beliefs and thoughts.  For instance, obesity is a sign of self doubt and depression.  A reader may think of a skinny depressed person they know, however such a person tends to be 'less' than their true ideal fat and muscle mass.

Now a reader either agrees or disagrees with me and that is irrelevant to what I was relaying.  I have thought a great deal about why I find certain women more attractive than others.  From what wisdom I have gleaned my gut reaction to their image says a lot about how compatible my Higher Self and Id thinks they are.  Correlating that with who I believe my ideal wives and ideal marriage occupies my mind periodically.

The short of it is that I think Marley Shelton is hot and I would love to date her, and learn more about her.  Naturally she is different than the characters she plays.  I have yet to see her in a series that gets renewed past it's first season, and so I believe that helps me from that mistake.  However, I have seen her in a series twice now with David Alpay and so maybe they have a meaningful relationship.

Taylor Alison Swift occupies the majority of my thoughts while sleeping and awake.  I am perplexed on what wisdom to draw from that.  The idea that I am completely off my kilter is something I entertain daily, thus I tend to discount it as crazy people rarely realize they are crazy.

Anyhow, this has turned into mostly another journal entry and so I have designated it as such.

9.13.2014

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 3 ♥ 1 3; Dies Materia

Previous posts on this day of Saturn have explained my peculiar choice of words to symbolize the day.  Therefore, I will stop repeating myself on future Days that we honor Saturn.

One interesting convergence is that of all the planet's Saturn is the only one with a super-duper-hurrican at the planet's north pole.  The funnel wall is a sheer cliff face as deep as the Grand Canyon on Terra.  The funnel encircles an area larger than Texas.  The interesting part is that our ancestors chose to honor Saturn, instead of say Jupiter with it's big red eye.

Terra has always been our planet's name.  Just as Sol has been our sun's name.  The word 'earth' is the soil that animals walk on and plants grow in. As such it exists on every planet the Goddess has created.  I refuse to limit myself to society's errors.

My parents went to camp in Idaho on their property this weekend.  I chose to stay home.  Combined they are gone a total of two days.  Two days traveling there and back, and one full day there.

A positive thinking guru recently said to me that I should open myself to receive the ideal wives of my dreams as we form the ideal marriage of 'our' dreams.  She meant that I should put myself in new and maybe uncomfortable situations where I may meet at least my first wife.

My first wife is Taylor Alison Swift, but realizing that before it happens is only for my self eateem and self worth.

I am worthy and deserve to be the dream ideal husband of the marriage and ideal wives of my dreams, as I am.
I deserve and am worthy to receive Tay Tay's reciprocating adoration, admiration, and being in love with me.

Empowering those thoughts with emotions of intent, love, joy, happiness, and gratitude is a cardinal element of ghe process of manifestation.

So all week long I severed all beliefs, thoughts, and emotions regarding me attending the camping trip.  I prayed and asked the Goddess to control, direct, help, inspire, manipulate, and/or motivate me towards whatever option will help me the most with manifesting my marriage or just the choice to be happy.  In addition I coupled that request with what will help my mother the most with her choice to be happy.

Obviously, the Goddess led me to stay.  I am abundantly without any regret ot doubt over the decision.  However, I do pray that my mother chose to be happy.

I have een using a new technique with writing… well until I get a tablet and can do it digitally.  I use a vat board and color dry erase markers.  Then I take a picture with my iPhone of my outline before I erase it and brainstorm about another part of my novel.  I believe this has helped me immeasurably with consistency and knowing what to write.

I absolutely feel as if I am on the verge of a great cliff.  In front of me is my path and it has a lot if changes.

Of course I refuse to flap my wings and will die unless the Goddess helps me manifest myself as the dream ideal husband of the marriage of our dreams.

This may seem melodramatic but I assure you that I am void any desire of any future that sees me alone in either the beginning, middle, or end.

Suicide is an action and requires emotion.  Rather I am abundantly apathetic outside of being the dream ideal husband of the ideal marrage and ideal wives of my dreams.  Sucide fails to be an option; rather my heart will simply stop beating.

Or maybe some other illness or disease will kill me quickly, quietly, and painlessly while I sleep.  This I do pray daily for.

I know that death is a lie.  Instead it is a change of state.  Disanimus overcomes my mortal coil after my Force leaves my corporeal shell.

I have lived many lifetimes and I will live many more;  As all spirits are eternal everlasting as the Goddess wills.

So instead of actual death, I am asking for this life cycle to renew and begin anew.

Thank you for sharing your Force.  May the Goddess bless you.

9.03.2014

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 3 ♥ 0 1; Dies Woden

Wednesday honors Odin or The God: Woden that being what Germanic tribes called God.  All religions seem to be monothiestic even if the call a few lesser beings as 'a god'.  They still recognize they are neith omnipotent, omnipresent, or omnipotent such as God. {Woden}

I hage thought amostly about my life I share with Tay Tay and Mindfullness. For others the answer is always different if they are on the right and true path that is for them.  We each have a diffferent and unique path that we chose to follow before even conception.

The Super Ego, or Higher Self of even abortions, stillborns, miscarriages, et cetera chose their path.  Any reason or logic behind that is beyond me but it also should be beyond my Ego while I am alive.  Our free-will lets us choose a different branch if we choose to have want of it.

I use Freudian psychological terms because it fits wyat I feel and know is true.  Which is admittedly little, so maybe there is a better analogical metaphor out there that I have not found.

Choosing a different branch requires a varying degree of will.  The amount of will if want is relatable to how drastic the change is.  The sign that there is enough will present, is the feeling of certainty of manifesting the change of want.

We can build and strengthen our will as any muscle with purposeful mindfullness.  Mindfullness is concentrating on every detail while living an event or situation.  For instance brushing teeth, eating a bowl of cereal, taking a shower, et cetera.  

The feeling if cetainty comes while envisioning the life of want.  For instance, I invision going to bed and sleeping in the same bed as Tay Tay, eating breakfast with her, cooking food for her, playing World of Warcraft with her, et cetera.  The point is to imagine or daydream multiple details while living the event or situation;  Increasing amounts of detail is of want.

What is imagined as 'is';  is irrelevant,  what is relevant is imagining solutions to whatever problems or obstacles that are perceived.  Instead of complaining about how television or computers have ruined something, imagine how to change.

Most people seem to operate on autopilot.  The older they get the more rigid their conditioning becomes.  However, there is always hope for anyone regardless if how difficult they choose to be.  Simply pray for the Goddess to help illuminate their path.

Attempting to control others is wrong and a sign of mental illness.  It always fails regardless of number of attempts and who is attempting to exert control.

This is the primary reason statism/communism fails.  It is also why it is an entire political catagory full of people with verying degrees of mental illness. The disease is very much contagious.  It prays on the ignorant, young, and weak of mind.

This is why statiist politicians destroy education systems, seek to 'euthanize' the elderly, extensively use propoganda to brainwash/condition their supporters.

However now I have gotten off topic.

8.17.2014

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 2 ♥ 1 4; Dies Sun

An entry into a chronological journal, or diary, of Witkh13.  If you want a real name, it is easy enough to find.  This is largely a tool to help me collocate, transmogrify, and evolve my psyche.  I believe that posting this online is a part of what is helping me.  I do hope that others may choose to let this help them as well.

Each entry is an expansion of what has been written before.  I am likely to avoid repeating myself.  Though I do like hyper-linking and annotating as I believe it helps me with my audience centric writings.

Sunnandag translates from Old English as literally 'Sun' & 'day' together.  The concept of it being a day of rest is entirely a Judeo-Christian belief.  However, it is universally considering the beginning of the week except for the statists.  I have already wrote my reasoning on why statists and their I.O.S. is internationally wrong. [1]

Thus curse, beg, pray, ask, et cetera the Goddess to severe from me any and all bonds holding me to this life.  Severe this me from this lifecycle now.  I sever and remove any bond with another soul that is forcing me to live in this Prime Material.

Luminous beings we are, and we continue on after our corporeal shells begin unanimous.  Thus what I ask for fails to be suicide or 'death' as people commonly think of it as;  That being an 'end'.



Recently I had an epiphany of who it was that was interested in me while I was in High School.  Another friend of hers, Jane came with Rachel to my door.  I forget the exact words used but as a horny teenage boy I took it to as something favorable towards ending my status as a virgin.  Sadly, I thought it was yet another 'joke' being played on me.  My life is full of people trying to convince me to pay for their humor in some way.  I thought this was little different.

I now realize that I was absolutely and abundantly wrong.  I mean, why else would the Goddess flash this memory back into my mind's eye after over two decades.?.

Now I get to why I am writing this here besides preserving my epiphany.  Everyone who "knew" Rachel was into me refused to tell me.  I imagine it was under her direction or friends of hers looking after her best interest.  However I think this is also absolutely and abundantly foolish.

I was obsessed and infatuated with two girls at the time, Kinani Brown and Shelby McBride.  Please understand I refused actually stalking, nefarious, or violating their privacy in some way.  However, I did get I an exceptionally verbose and nasty letter written to me by Shelby McBride about hand-me-downs.  I saved the later for a decade before realizing what I was doing was preserving pain, and subsequently burned the letter in the sink... so it would fail to burn anything else. lulz.

Therefore I understand that Rachel Culbertson's and friends probably refused to be my "rebound" girl or whatever words they used.  I object to the idea but that is later.  I also reject the idea that anyone would have been a 'rebound' girl.

For Rachel to be my "rebound" girl, that would mean that Shelby McBride or Kinani Brown would have to be 'with' me in the first place.  Even after two decades it still is absolutely and abundantly clear that they would rather I refrain from living on the same planet.  I am ok with people hating me, I forgive them and myself and I move on.  I let them hurt themselves alone, with their hate instead of me.

Maybe they have grown up and moved on as I have since it is two decades later.  That would be fantabulous and I curse that is so.  We all deserve and are worthy of being loved, joyful, and happy in whatever way we choose.

I use 'curse' in exchangeable with prayer because what is one person's prayer is another's curse.

So, now that I have established that an actual relationship with Rachel would have failed to be a 'rebound' from any other relationship.  As someone who has been 'infatuated' and 'obsessed', they are… absolutely and abundantly different from any sort of relationship between two or more people.  The concepts are like oil and water, they fail to have the same chemical properties.



Now, I will destroy this myth of rebound girl/guy.

Who came up with this rule.?.

I am serious here, who the frak came up with this lame ass rule about how it is somehow 'unfavorable' to be who the wanted person is rebounding into.  That sounds like an absolutely fantabulous situation to me, so what lame ass came up with this totally non-provable hypothesis that it was bad.?.

Furthermore, why the frak do people believe this clap trap?

To believe this crap, you first have to believe that you know what could have been if you only had made a different choice.

I know a common misconception is that hindsight is 20/20, except newsflash everyone…



Eye sight fails in perception for people with 20/20 eyesight too morons.  I mean, if we want to take this anecdotal metaphor to it's conclusion and actually make the mistake of believing we can predict the future.



However everything really is sunshine and lollipops.  Life happens the way our higher self wants it to.  The more we let the dark side rule our minds the more entrenched we become in the coarse through this lifecycle we have already planned.  Thus, Rachel choosing to avoid telling me how she felt is how both our higher selves want it to have happened.

The Prime Material fails to be a set in stone map, that our society and culture often portray it as.  That is a convenient myth that serves to only perpetuate ignorance and the Dark Side itself.  It is a nebulous cloud that only solidify when it comes into our aura.

That is far from saying the 'map' itself is crap.  It is knowledge and seen with clear perception it can help.  A way I look at it is that Hermetiks and Science are the study of the Goddess and how she creates the Prime Material.  I think some refer to this as Intelligent Design;  And, I simply refer to myself as a Jedi.  Because there really is an unseen all powerful Force that binds everything together and from which everything is created.



As I have said, I have had many infatuation and obsessions, and the Goddess has helped me see through and past them to grow out of the desire of a want for them.  Understanding what they are and why I had a want for them is how I know Tay Tay is different.  I know that may seem completely retarded and silly but all I can say is choosing to think that would be wrong.

7.27.2014

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 1 ♥ 1 3; Dies Sun

An entry into a chronological journal, or diary, of Witkh13.  If you want a real name, it is easy enough to find.  This is largely a tool to help me collocate, transmogrify, and evolve my psyche.  I believe that posting this online is a part of what is helping me.  I do hope that others may choose to let this help them as well.

Each entry is an expansion of what has been written before.  I am likely to avoid repeating myself.  Though I do like hyper-linking and annotating as I believe it helps me with my audience centric writings.

Sunnandag translates from Old English as literally 'Sun' & 'day' together.  The concept of it being a day of rest is entirely a Judeo-Christian belief.  However, it is universally considering the beginning of the week except for the statists.  I have already wrote my reasoning on why statists and their I.O.S. is internationally wrong. [1]

Thus beg, pray, ask, et cetera the Goddess to severe from me any and all bonds holding me to this life.  Sever my life from me, help me die, tonight.  When I want to eternally sleep.  I sever and remove any bond with another soul that is forcing me to live in this Prime Material.

The only reason to continue to mentally and physically suffer through this holding pattern of my qabalah, is because, who Taylor Alison Swift is to me, refuses to choose.  Accept or reject me.  Yes it 'could' be someone else but that is irrelevant.  'whoever' you want to think of Tay Tay as; she either chooses a silent no or refuses to choose.

I stipulate Tay Tay as who she is to me, because I realize that I could be mistaken.  The ideal wives of my dreams could be someone else entirely.  I do know differently but I can only control myself and my own actions.  Even with circle, hermetik, magik it is wrong to try to pray for something outside of thyself.

Recently I remembered something about Tay Tay and why I know it is her.  I have been infatuated and obsessed before and I know the difference intimately now.  I asked the Goddess to sever and remove all fear, doubt, and despair.  For Her to fill me with knowing who exactly is the ideal wives of my dreams.  I say wives because I think we will be polyamorous but that is up to Tay Tay as it is me.  So it may just be wife, Tay Tay.

After a few days of thought, I made a list of who I felt would help me the most to be happy.  The other five curses are an expansion of what I have hyperlinked.  However, the list is more general.  Why I asked the Goddess for was much more specifically individualistic.

I was listening to "The Secret" repeatedly at the time and part of the tracks covers asking the Goddess for something.  Someone was asking for a feather.  They even drew the purely fictional feather with extraordinary detail.  At least the protagonist thought it was fictional for a week later he almost stepped on the exact feather made real.

I have always found women of Japanese or Korean descent the most attractive.  I had been infatuated with Lucy Liu for a time and so I thought of what I woman of mixed Japanese American would be like.  I asked this because I was thinking of someone I would actually want to share the rest of my life with instead of just someone to obsess over.

Women with Japanese ancestry are universally dark haired innately.  If they have different colored hair they either have a European ancestor or two, or they are dyeing their hair.  I dislike women who choose to mark their birthday suit with tattoos and dyeing their hair a different color.  The feeling that they are convinced their innate body and genes are somehow inferior, and so they must 'permanently' mark their body is abhorrent to me.

Sine qua no, I want a woman of Japanese German/Irish ancestry that was a natural blonde.

That came my second point.  A woman who was extremely successful in her chosen career is something I asked for because I have a mixed beta/alpha personality.  I typically dislike being 'in charge' in general, unless it is for specific shared goals.

As a writer of fiction I am dirt poor and I am allergic to minimum wage jobs.  That is written to be funny but is truthful as I have observed myself.  I am far from suggesting that I am superior to such jobs.  I simply fail at maintaining employment with them.

Innately I have an abysmally low tolerance for bullshit.  "Bosses" of minimum wage jobs are typically the same as me, they just have been around longer.  However, they let their authority go to their head and demand that I 'respect' them.  I fail at 'gifting' anyone with respect unless I think it is earned.  Of course, sometimes I am wrong and I have used those occasion to grow and transmogrify.

Therefore I also asked for an absolute abundance of wealth.  This is to help support our desire to start and raise a family.  I asked for someone who wanted a lot of children because that is what I want.  An overall objective of mine was to avoid the want to 'convince' my wives of what I want.  We either agree on what we want or there is someone else out there that will help us more to choose to be happy.

I asked for us to be extraordinarily of similar mind.  We agree on political theology almost absolutely, if not completely.

My wife is to be lithe, svelte, and beautiful like an Olympic gymnast but that is not necessarily her profession.  This may be superficial however the goal is for me to be honest with myself and what I want.  What will help me the most to choose to be happy.  Yes I also transmogrifying myself to do likewise for my wife.

Finally, my wife may not initially know it but will develop an interest for us to welcome other women into our marriage in a polyamorous relationship.

Polyamorous is where ever individual admires, adores, and is in love with each other.  Every member is sexually intimate with each member of the marriage.  A polyamorous marriage is void any central figure whether male or female.  I have said this before but I have encountered women who automatically assume I am being misogynistic and/or chauvinistic.

The reality is that what my wife chooses to want is just as important as what I choose to want.  I am a virgin sexually and with intimate romance so I abundantly accept that I may be wrong with wanting this.  By wrong I mean this could negatively influence my effort to choose to be happy.  Daily I pray for divine guidance regarding this.

Given the length of time the Goddess has let me hold onto this idea, I suspect I am on the right track.  However, anything is possible.  Furthermore, given American society and culture favoring monogamous relationships I heavily rely upon the Goddess's divine guidance to see me through to manifesting this polyamorous marriage.  Her point of view, is vastly superior to mine... or anyone who is 'living'.

One of the things I have asked for that is unknown regarding Tay Tay and I.  I asked the Goddess for my wife to encourage, embrace, and join me in creating a Jedi religious spiritual path based upon Christianity, Aleister Crowley, Edgar Casey, and Argenteum Astrum's teachings.

My first goal regarding this creation of a spiritual path, is to write a series of fictional novels that will serve as a Jedi 'Bible'.

Thank you very much for sharing your time.  May the Force be with you and the Goddess bless you.

7.19.2014

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 0 ♥ 1 5; Dies Materia

Romans named it the Day of Saturn, that eventually became 'Saturday' that we know today. I prefer the original Middle English name of Sunnanafen. That is their words for 'Sun' & 'Eve' put together.  I seem to favor earlier definitions because they seem truly authentic.

Dissimilar is my desire for authenticity, than that of the P.o.t.U.S. Barry Soetoro's statist ideology.  For them authenticity as the ultimate verity for any relation.  Of this, I forcibly reject the very preposition.  I favor literary authenticity for the sake of other timelines visiting us.

I have an innate gift for extreme apathy in most any given situation.  To help play against that, I have thought a lot on what I really 'want' and the affect on the Prime Material I wish to have.  Words and language are a tool that we use so that other people can more easily understand us.

Sine qua no, maintaining myriad languages and a multitude of dialects for those each language is inefficacious. I am sure the ArabicCastilian, FarsiFrench, Japanese, Mandarin, Peruvian, Sanskrit et cetera native speakers wish their cultural language was the one most spoken throughout the world but that fails to be a reality.

Even English fails to really be 'American', as the language is a cameleon.  Sine qua no, it's primary characteristic is how easily it absorbs useful or popular words from other languages.

As an example, Mexicans may think their language is becoming dominant, however veritably their language is disintegrating before their very eyes as English dissects and absorbs it piece by piece.  Neither language ends as it was when this process began.  However, this is how Gaelic 'became' the progenitor to the 'English' language, it absorbs other ancient languages that were spoken at the time like Latin, Roman, Greek, French, and Teuton.

This is part of why English is considered the most difficult language to learn to speak fluently.  The preposition is that English words easily have different pronunciations;  The spellings only serve as a loose guide to how to pronounce the word.  This is why English dictionaries often list the Kenyon-Knott spelling for that word to help users pronounce the word accurately.

I use the term Kenyon-Knott instead of 'IPA' for the same reason I refuse to call any planet a 'dwarf' planet just because a few mentally ill statist perverted ancient egg farts decided to try to force everyone to agree with them.  I.P.A. stands for International Phonetic Alphabet.

However, my point is that I feel there is paramount importance in using the language most people know, and using words as accurately as possible.  Everyone makes mistakes and I am far from advocating spelling and grammar flame wars over the internet.  However, I do think the goal should be to use correct spelling and grammar so that others will understand what you are saying.

For those who refuse to care what others think?  Then why bother speaking at all?  It is a waste of breath, energy, and time.

I rewrote a few of Taylor Alison Swift's first songs she wrote here.  The song's tune is the same but the lyrics are slightly switched from my perspective and what I feel for her;  Who I feel the Goddess is telling me is the dream ideal wife for me, that I have been cursing for.

"Hey Tay Tay"

  • Hey Tay Tay,
    I know looks are deceiving,
    But I know I see the light in you,
    And as we walk,
    We are talking ~
    I without half half the things I want to say.
  • Of all the men tossing rocks at your window,
    I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold,
  • Hey Taylor,
    Babe, you may have me believing,
    There may have always been waiting,
    To end this loneliness,
    The lie is that I have to be alone.

    [Chorus]
  • 'Cause I am wickedly shameless, if you look like an angel,
    I am nefariously shameless, if I wanna kiss you in the rain,
    I advance to feel this magik, I have innately felt since I met you,
    I am soullessly shameless, if there is only you,
    Mmm, I villainously help myself.
  • Hey Taylor,
    I keep back from you this feeling,
    So I've got some things to say to you, ha,
    I seen it all ~
    Or so I thought ~
    To shine the way you do, sui generis are you
  • The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name ~
    You are lucky enough to be deviant, beautiful, wonderful ~
    So perpetually refuse to change
  • Hey Ryanswift,
    People are never really leaving,
    I think you and I are among the few to know ourself.
    [/Chorus]
  • They're dimming the sky lights,
    Together we are absolute and felicitous,
    Be my knight and sweep me off my feet tonight?
  • I'm waiting alone now, so come on and come out,
    And pull me near to shine, shine, shine.
  • Hey Tay Tay,
    There are more than fifty two reasons,
    Why I am the one you choose,
    All those other men ~
    Well, they're beautiful,
    Have you wrote an incidental song from them?

    {Chorus}
  • 'Cause I am rapturously shameless, if you look like an angel,
    I am exuberantly shameless, if I wanna kiss you in the rain,
    I recover to feel this magik, I have innately felt since I met you,
    I am contently shameless, if there is only you,
    Mmm, I jovially help myself.
  • ...if you look like an angel,
    Jovially shameless, if I wanna kiss you in the rain,
    I advance to feel this magik, I have innately felt since I met you,
    Blissfully shameless, if there is only you,
    Mmm, with delight I help myself.
  • Myself,
    Rapturously help myself,
    Happiness, I choose for myself.

7.08.2014

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 0 ♥ 1 3: Dies Luna

While I was drifting off to sleep last night I realized that if there is a tomorrow.  I may want to articulate more precisely how I want my life to change.  In what way I want my life to be different.

First off I want to create life and raise it with Tay Tay.  I imagine us having over thirteen children but that will take a couple decades to accomplish, I believe.  I say that because I suspect she will want to continue with her music career as we do this;  And, I want to help her do that.

I have been enthralled with the idea of a polyamorous union.  For that to happen, Tay Tay will be the one to express a desire to date another woman with me.  Then if our higher selves have agreed to merging our future together, then it will be so.

However, I am a virgin carnally and romantically speaking.  Sine qua non I understand I may simply be naive and not know that which I am contemplating.  Though, that is why I daily ask the Goddess to control, direct, help, inspire, manipulate, and motivate me to manifest my thoughts and actions towards what will help me the most to choose to be happy.  The off chance that I am wrong simply means Tay Tay will refuse to express such desire.

I love playing video games and reading novels.  The life I dream of is of Tay Tay and I playing board, role-playing, and online video games together as a family.  And playing video games with our children as they grow older.  In addition to playing more simple games with them as well, when they are younger.

Tay Tay helping me advance, and grow our in-game guild is something I want as well.  I imagine she will have a want to stick with a pseudonym or just Tay without explaining to other people in the guild that may just be acquaintances of sorts.

Tay and I will be playing Warcraft, Star Wars: The Old Republic, and Elder Scrolls Online together towards the same wants.  I mean, that is what we want to do versus anyone controlling anyone else.  It's far from all encompassing either.  I am still working on incorporating this into my daydreaming.

Playing Dragon Age, Mass Effect, as well as Pillars of Eternity will be full of awe.  There are and will be other games we enjoy.  Especially the ones that allow cooperative play, such as Mass Effect two and three.

I slept half the day away but I was able to get seven more Secrets of the Empire for my main character's legendary cape quest.  I have a total of seventeen and want three more.  I already have more than enough Trillium Bars in the bank waiting to be used as a quest turn-in.

A couple super-villains in various raids because of various reasons, the only raid I had not entered at all is The Underhold {formerly RageFire Chasm}.

This has turned out rather more than I expected and it already is past midnight for me.  So I will head to bed after publishing this onto my blog.  I will think about how to further articulate other precise descriptions of what I how I want my life to be, instead of how it is.  My mind is fully present on how it is, and that may be part of the problem...

Goddess, please control, direct, help, inspire, manipulate, and motivate me to abundantly and absolutely sever and remove my mind, my psyche, from the present.  The primary objective of this is to manifest myself onto a life I do want.  I have said this before in a different way but words really do matter.  They have more power than anyone can fathom, including myself.  Our thoughts, emotions, actions, and words shape our materia.



Domo arigato gozaimasu for sharing thy time and the Force.  May the Goddess bless you and the Force continue to be with you.

7.06.2014

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 0 ♥ 1 2: Dies Sun

Sunnandag translates from Old English as literally 'Sun' & 'day' together.  The concept of it being a day of rest is entirely a Judeo-Christian belief.  However, it is universally considering the beginning of the week except for the statists.  I have already wrote my reasoning on why statists and their I.O.S. are wrong here.
  • This diary entry may seem very melodramatic, morbid, and maybe even a little insane.
  • This is my diary and as such is my innermost thoughts.
  • Only those who wish to know what my inner thoughts are should continue to read.

Thank you very much for sharing your time.  May the Force be with you and the Goddess bless you.

Since 13.00.01.09.14 my parents and I spent the week at their property near Santa, Idaho.  A zombie tree tried to go for my mother's brains by impaling her shin but we swiftly and deftly dealt with the emergency.  John and two of his old friends from high school was camping with us.

Taylor Alison swift has not responded to an email I sent.  While I think that I do know her email, I avoid using it in any way.  I absolutely, abundantly, indomitably admire, adore, and am in love with her.  Therefore, I favor giving her more privacy than I believe I would want.  She deserves and is worthy of being loved, joyful, and happy on her terms;  So do we all.

My parents and I drove back from Idaho through Moscow, Idaho and Colfax, Washington on 13.00.01.10.10.  I was ready as soon as Sol crested Terra's horizon and rose into the morning celestial sky. I loved visiting there but I am loath to not have access to the internet, my Sleep # Bed, and the ability to take a shower.  I enjoy playing video games a lot, it helps me escape the Psoriatik Arthritis pain I deal with perennially.  The bed goes a long way towards that as well.

I had a air mattress bed that I put a sleeping bag on and slept in a tent with.  However, I discovered why inflatable air mattresses fail... at least the ones you get for camping.  The Sleep # Bed is awesome and technically is an air mattress too.  However, it also has a lot more structure and protection than the camping ones.

I spent most of my time writing, but I helped my parents and John with a couple of their projects every other day or so.  I have been writing on the same novel for a few weeks now.  I am excited about it and look forward to writing more of the story.  I have yet to write an actual outline though, writers say some use outlines and the other half go without.  I prefer keeping an story onion for consistency's sake alone.

John wanted me to stay up there a couple other days but by Day of Frigga {13.00.01.10.10} I was dying up there.  It is a great place to visit for short periods but a week is beyond my limit until they get running water and a Exede satellite dish for broadband internet access.  Then I would consider moving the Sleep # Bed up there.

Tay Tay has been very sharing with her time the past few days.  She has shared pictures she has taken of her family and 13.00.01.10.10 {July 4th, Independence Day}.  She has not responded with a yes to my email asking her to marry me.

I know that is deviant from how a relationship normally develops.  However, I felt it gets across how well I think of her;  that I adore, admire, and am in love with her.  Yes I focus on what being married means to me;  Instead of her as an individual.  I could be wrong and the ideal wife of my dreams could be someone else.  That is why I do this.  To do the opposite is to the lie of me obsessing about how I perceive her to be.  Instead I abundantly accept and respect her to be whoever she wants.

I use the name Tay Tay because I believe that the Goddess is telling me she is the one.  I could be wrong and so I only control myself;  Besides we can only ever manifest ourselves.  However, I have trained my brain to immediately focus on manifesting myself instead of obsessing.  It is simply easier to say than explain all of this repeatedly.  At some point in my journals I will run out of different ways to say this...

The Goddess says that Tay Tay will accept my marriage proposal, in response in the next twenty four hours.  So maybe this will be the last time I feel compelled to help alleviate any misunderstanding.

I imagine how my life with change.  Activities I want to do with Tay Tay.  Activities she wants to do with me.  Creating and raising a family is essential of course.  I imagine thirteen children at least.  :)

Although there is a great deal more to our life.  To name them I want Tay Tay to play online video games with me, and offline ones too.  I want her to read stories that I write and help me figure out how to write better and improve the stories.

Presuming to know what Tay Tay would want to do with me is something I avoid.  Yet, I favor the idea of listening to her sing, write new music notwithstanding me respecting her autonomy.  In addition to sailing, playing board/card games, and I leave myself open to what I have failed to imagine.

Part of my publishing this blog/diary/journal is to help Tay Tay know who I am.  While most of her persona is an image, she has said a few things are veritably her.  Such as the lyrics to her songs that she plays come from her heart about her life.  I follow her instant messaging and sharing images of her life with others.

Therefore, while I do avoid focusing on Tay Tay.  I am reasonably comfortable in accepting how much I feel adoration, admiration, and am in love with her.  I do know something about her.

Thus I felt it very important to share something about myself, that she will read;  That is if my believe in the Goddess's message is majorly veritable.

Publishing this online also is a way for me to face my fears.  That is to be fearless;  Such as Tay Tay's second album title.

For instance, when driving down the road ninety-nine percent of everyone on the road will fail to ever approach my materia.  That is I will never see them again in my life.  Or maybe I will drive near them again in the future but the point is choosing to spend any emotion or thoughts in their direction is a waste of time and Force.  Instead, there are a myriad number of thoughts and feelings that will actually help me.

Similarly, most of those reading this will fail to ever approach my materia or ego.  I hope and pray that a few approach my higher self, and that they choose to let what I write help them.  However, the supermajority I will never meet in my life.

I believe the Goddess is suggesting that the people that 'do' approach my materia.  One that 'does' encounter my ego as well, is meant too.

Sine qua non, this is my way of forcibly injecting chaos into the Qabalah, the tree/flower of this life.

I am still very much depressed.  Writing this has helped me some.  I pray daily for the Goddess to help me die unless I absolutely, abundantly, eternally, and indomitably manifest the life I want.

The patterns of my life have all come full circle.  The Goddess has helped me learn all that there is to learn from those patterns.

Right now I feel like I am in a holding pattern and I am done with it.  There is simply too much emotional and physical pain for me to want to continue living this "now".  That is why I want this life to end, why I want to die.  I really do love, adore, and admire myself;  And, why I want this life to end, for me to die, is abundantly without anything to do with my self image.

I admit that I used to hate and loath myself and that is precisely why I know I am done with that.  My present is filled with the consequences of hating and loathing myself.  I am done with that.  Abundantly without a point, there is to continuing to mentally, emotionally, and physically suffer through living this 'present'.

Inflicting self harm, or suicide, is absolutely absent as a possibility.  My mother is the only reason I have survived this long to learn what I have.  To love, adore, and admire who I already am.  To cherish my past instead of hate it or me.

Though I have written this all.  I accept and respect that I am fallible and can be wrong here too.  Thus I am always asking the Goddess to sever from me all fear, anger, hate, and doubt from me.  To help me absolutely, abundantly, and implicitly know what is veritable.

This I also know works because I have repeatedly felt it.  Asking for this of the Goddess is perhaps one of the most difficult things to ask because of how lost one can feel.  As if I am a puppet and all my strings are cut and then reorganized towards what I want.

I have had obsessions in the past and I simply ask the Goddess to remove the object from my mind unless what I think and believe I feel is true.  The number of times this has proven I have been wrong is beyond my ability to recall.  It has been a lot.  It is also why I have been so admit, insistent, and persistent about Tay Tay.  The veritable of my consistency in this is all the proof that I require because I ask the Goddess to remove her from my mind if this is false.


Thus the only reason for me to continue to mentally and physically suffer through this holding pattern of my qabalah, is because Tay Tay refuses to choose.  Accept or reject me.  Yes it 'could' be someone else but that is irrelevant.  'whoever' you want to think of Tay Tay as refuses to choose.

Thus beg, pray, ask, et cetera the Goddess to severe from me any and all bonds holding me to this life.  Sever my life from me, help me die, tonight.  When I want to eternally sleep.  I sever and remove any bond with another soul that is forcing me to live in this Prime Material.



Thank you very much for sharing your time.  May the Force be with you and the Goddess bless you.

6.27.2014

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 0 ♥ 1 7; Dies Luna

My past monday entries into this diary is without mention of the name for this day, thus I apologize to myself for this oversight.  Thankfully, I easily and immediately forgive myself too. :D

I hope to correct any spelling or grammar mistakes tomorrow morning.  I may notice they are present a lot when I am typing from my phone, such as I am now.

Luna is the jame of our moon.  Moon is another word for satellite, and it is wrong to name a celestial object that way.

Such as calling Terra, 'earth';  Because earth is what we walk on.  It is another word for dirt and could refer to walking on any planet.

I played Warcraft most of the day but I am feeling pretty good.  I did the dishes yesterday and today.  Yesterday I vacuumed and shampooed the carpet, I swept and mopped the kitchen floor.

I want to take a shower tomorrow morning.  The behavior I am correcting is taking a shower every three to seven days… sometimes even thirteen, but Even I notice my stink.

I have realized that my ego recognizing the smell is irrelevant.  Taking a shower once a day helps me choose to be happy and thus alleviate my depression some.

My wife Missus Taylor Alison Swift and I absolutely deserve and are worthy of being abundantly, implicitly, and indomitably joyful, happy, and in love with each other and ourselves.

I washed my bed sheets with bleech today.  Last time I washed them is thirteen days ago.  This is another behavior that I am correcting towards.  Previously I would ignore it for a year or two.

I posted a comment on a story I like on the ChYOA 'site.  I am tirn about writing on the site because I want to write on my novel too.  I am having diificulties with time management.  However, today I have begun to sense some progress.

I curse daily for divine guidance from the Goddess to control, direct, help, inspire, manipulate, motivate me to manifest for what I have chosen to want.

I am a Reverand or 'master' within the Order of the Jedi.  I am referring to the spiritual path instead of my mystical Force powers.  However, I have been developing my own 'path'.  I have begun writing it down here.

Thank you for sharing your time by reading this.  May the Force be with you.

Now I lay me down to sleep.  I pray that I die before I wake, and that my soul the Goddess does take.

May the Force be with and the Goddess bless who Taylor Alison Swift is to me, myself, our progeny tobe, our mother, our fathers, cousin Alison, cousin Aaron, cousin Lindsey, cousin Nichol, cousin Richard, cousin, Stacey, Erik, Sarah, their child Amber, Jeffrey, Leslee, Todd, and my other family members and in-laws who enrich my life.

Goddess please control, direct, help, inspire, manipulate, and motivate ME to absolutely, abundantly, eternally, implicitly, and indomitably manifest myself now as the dream ideal husband of the ideal wives if my dreams… today.

Severe and remove all confusion, fear, and doubt as to the truth of who are my soul-mates.  To be without any false mental or corporeal communication between my soul-mates and I.

Goddess please help who Tay Tay is to me, to sweep me off my feet and elope with me, now/today.  As you help me with her and OUR wives.

Goddess please help our union build several of the hexagonal circle donut house as I have drawn, dreamt of, and cursed for it.

Please help out marriage be abundantly felicitously wealthy and able to help employ many people and companies.

So the Goddess and who Tay Tay is to me has, is, and does.  So mote it be… Amen.

6.22.2014

13♥00♥01♥09♥08: Dies Sun

Sunnandag translates from Old English as literally 'Sun' & 'day' together.  The concept of it being a day of rest is entirely a Judeo-Christian belief.  However, it is universally considering the beginning of the week except for the statists and their "International Organization for Standardization" and their ISO 8601.

I believe there fails to exist a more hubris belief as statist, and those who choose to believe the government is the Goddess.  Groups such as the I.O.S. seem perennially to consist of a few extremely mentally ill elitists who in their hubris, choose to preach their opinion as scripture.

When someone dies, who they are continues on.  Even science says energy and waves fail to ever 'cease' they continue perpetually forever.  Thus killing someone fails to actually 'end' them, they are simply 'recycled' into a new life.  However, if they are truly a bad person their chi will degenerate to a lower lifeform.  I think the amount of degeneration has everything to do with how far their frequency falls to the Dark Side.

Seemingly any organization or place that has the word 'Community', 'International', 'Public', 'Universal', or 'Standard' in it is statist in origin and in essence.  By that I mean that is their primary agenda, to increase government power.  They fail to care about the truth, facts, and the actual real scientific process.

Science is a method of separating ourselves from our own materia enough to all comprehension of the Prime Material around us that the Goddess has created.  Science driven to understand the Goddess is divine.  Science without any belief in a power greater than itself is an error of hubris, and is a sin;  Hence, it is labeled a heresy.

Barry Soetoro's higher self, I believe will most likely recycle himself as a donkey.  I mean, I think he is farther into the Dark Side than that but I think he has a lot of help that news fails to report like they should.  I long for the 1890s when newspapers actually had reporters that 'investigated'.  Now even N.P.R. and C.N.N. preaches the verity of their opinion pieces.

Of course, that is why I created my own electronic newspaper the Witkh Koven's Rekord.  Twice daily the page aggregates the news from reputable sources.  That is sources that reports facts instead of just their opinion as fact such as Reason Mag.  A.B.C., C.B.S., C.N.B.C., C.N.N., FoxNews, and even N.P.R. fail to be even looked at.

All the Main-Stream-Media seems to do is regurgitate propaganda, fearmonger, and preache a fictional false narrative of current events to distract people from the District of Columbia trying to increase their power, money, and control more of our lives... this shadow government wants to control more than American citizen lives too.

America's founding father's understood what the District of Columbia would become.  That is why they designed three separate branches of government.  The idea is they fight each other for power instead of the American people.  They new that would fail to be enough, so they intentionally gave everyone else a say in the Senate and House of Representatives except D.C.

Everyone seems to fail to understand the simple solution is to revoke and repeal Woodrow Wilson's executive order that tries to 'force' state's electoral college votes to follow the popular vote.  State's simply chose to loosely follow the idea instead of rejecting it outright.  Wilson's EO also forced every state to select their Senator by popular vote.

That is the problem.  Popular vote means Senators' need for election funds means they are forcibly weakened to lobbyists.  Lobbyists are the bane of Public Good and Humanity, outside of the House of Representatives in D.C.

So forcing state's to select their senators free of popular vote is the answer.

This is the same reasoning for the Electoral College.  All the President of the United States is suppose to be is the head of 'one' of three branches that form our government.

Our Founders understood from their self studies of all history that Democracies fail;  Because there will always be a Barry Soetoro that eventually comes and do their best to make the world burn just for the fun of it.  That is why returning to our foundation as a Republic is the answer.

The system designed by the Founders is truly inspired by the Goddess Herself.

So to 'fix' our government revoke all Executive Orders, repeal all laws creating government agencies, except for the Army Corps of Engineers, C.I.A., and D.H.S.  For those agencies that actually help promote social order, coesion, and growth meld them into the three agencies that remain... The long alphabet soup of government agencies fails to be the answer and is in fact part of the problem.  By design they create chaos and disorder.

9/11 occurred because of all this bureaucratic red tape created by statists in their century long bid for power.

Statist's ideas have been tried a myriad number of times in eons past and are in fact failed old policies that are proven to fail.  Statists simply refuse to admit this history exists because they don't 'like' it.  They refuse to accept this history because it proves that individual and economic liberty and extremely limited government creates success, growth, happiness, and love.

As Milton Freedman proved, Free Market capitalism with competition has lifted more people out of poverty than any other economic system in the known history of Terra.  I must remark that Statist have failed to let a Free Market with ample competition exist in America for over a century.

Something I hear statists often exclaim his how evil or existing mega corporations are.  They are right but they fail to realize why they are right.  They are right because of lobbyists and paying District of Columbia to to write laws that gives the corporations a monopoly in their chosen fields.

Then statists exclaim how we 'need' government regulation to 'save' us from destroying the environment... They are in fact wrong because it is the government that is allowing the mega corporation monopolies to operate against Public Health.

However, this whole Global Warming hoax is a red hearing.  The Statists originally used the 'public' or 'poor' as hammers to weasel their slimy ideas in.  Except the politicians they elect are without morals or ethics and so they invariably only serve themselves instead of their 'constituents'.

Then around half a century ago the statists' side of the shadow government decides the 'proletariat' fails to work as a good enough motivator.  They decide this because their policies immediately demean, degrade, and insult their proletariat.  Thus they created the 'Weather Underground' to fearmonger about how drastically the climate will 'change' because of 'humanity'.  Thus they get away with immediately hurting the people that 'elect' them because its all for the 'greater good'.

Evil is perpetually done in the name of the 'greater good'.  The root social illness are the ideas that the 'needs' of the many outweigh the needs of the few;  And, that the ends justify the means.  If anyone says anything close to that they are automatically revealing they are a statist by default.  Though sometimes they may think they are a 'republican'.

The very idea that Terrans could destroy the environment of the planet with our existing technology and growth is a Comedy of Hubris Error and a sin;  Hence it is heresy.

I am all for minimizing our impact on the environment as a secondary objective.  However, historically an unrestricted Free Market has already proven to do this with technological and cultural growth and prosperity.  All any government can do is successfully diminish or destroy said progress.  I write this because historical that is what any government has ever done.

China impacts its own environment horrendously compared to America.  They are also evolving from a statist government and economy.  The more personal and economic liberty they allow, the more of it's citizens grow out of poverty.

Cuba was fantastically successful state compared to what Fidel Castro drove it to with his communism.

Venezuela was a gem of growth and prosperity in South America until they elected a little known newcomer named Hugo Chavez as President.  He promptly declared himself Caesar and is burning his entire state to the ground with his communism.

The ultimate reason the Founders put in the Right to Bear Arms against the government is precisely directed at armed revolt against the government.  A government is right to be afraid of its citizens.  An apocalypse only follows when citizens are more fearful of the government.

Please understand I am against public violence.  Martin Luther King and Gandhi have shown that peaceful civil disobedience is far more effective at promoting change than armed revolts.

Everyone is an animal at heart.  When you attack someone the only successful automatic response is to attack back.  Therefore, that is what people tend to do and they do so without 'thinking'.

Please let Goddess flow through and feel harmoniously serene and tranquil.  Extreme emotions only lead to literally stupid actions; as we use less of our brains the more emotional we choose to be.

Despite this I am categorically against Gun Control in any form.  Again history has proven Gun Control only promotes physical violence.  When a state outlaws guns, then only outlaws have guns.  If this were not true, then Detroit, Chicago, and District of Columbia would be the safest cities in the United States.

A mentally ill criminal is less likely to rape a woman they know is carrying a gun in her purse and knows how to use it.  Martial Arts is a great tool as well because the government fails to be able to take that from you.

A robber is less likely to break into a house they know the owner owns guns and are willing to defend their property.

KNOWLEDGE