1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 0 ♥ 1 7; Dies Luna

My past monday entries into this diary is without mention of the name for this day, thus I apologize to myself for this oversight.  Thankfully, I easily and immediately forgive myself too. :D

I hope to correct any spelling or grammar mistakes tomorrow morning.  I may notice they are present a lot when I am typing from my phone, such as I am now.

Luna is the jame of our moon.  Moon is another word for satellite, and it is wrong to name a celestial object that way.

Such as calling Terra, 'earth';  Because earth is what we walk on.  It is another word for dirt and could refer to walking on any planet.

I played Warcraft most of the day but I am feeling pretty good.  I did the dishes yesterday and today.  Yesterday I vacuumed and shampooed the carpet, I swept and mopped the kitchen floor.

I want to take a shower tomorrow morning.  The behavior I am correcting is taking a shower every three to seven days… sometimes even thirteen, but Even I notice my stink.

I have realized that my ego recognizing the smell is irrelevant.  Taking a shower once a day helps me choose to be happy and thus alleviate my depression some.

My wife Missus Taylor Alison Swift and I absolutely deserve and are worthy of being abundantly, implicitly, and indomitably joyful, happy, and in love with each other and ourselves.

I washed my bed sheets with bleech today.  Last time I washed them is thirteen days ago.  This is another behavior that I am correcting towards.  Previously I would ignore it for a year or two.

I posted a comment on a story I like on the ChYOA 'site.  I am tirn about writing on the site because I want to write on my novel too.  I am having diificulties with time management.  However, today I have begun to sense some progress.

I curse daily for divine guidance from the Goddess to control, direct, help, inspire, manipulate, motivate me to manifest for what I have chosen to want.

I am a Reverand or 'master' within the Order of the Jedi.  I am referring to the spiritual path instead of my mystical Force powers.  However, I have been developing my own 'path'.  I have begun writing it down here.

Thank you for sharing your time by reading this.  May the Force be with you.

Now I lay me down to sleep.  I pray that I die before I wake, and that my soul the Goddess does take.

May the Force be with and the Goddess bless who Taylor Alison Swift is to me, myself, our progeny tobe, our mother, our fathers, cousin Alison, cousin Aaron, cousin Lindsey, cousin Nichol, cousin Richard, cousin, Stacey, Erik, Sarah, their child Amber, Jeffrey, Leslee, Todd, and my other family members and in-laws who enrich my life.

Goddess please control, direct, help, inspire, manipulate, and motivate ME to absolutely, abundantly, eternally, implicitly, and indomitably manifest myself now as the dream ideal husband of the ideal wives if my dreams… today.

Severe and remove all confusion, fear, and doubt as to the truth of who are my soul-mates.  To be without any false mental or corporeal communication between my soul-mates and I.

Goddess please help who Tay Tay is to me, to sweep me off my feet and elope with me, now/today.  As you help me with her and OUR wives.

Goddess please help our union build several of the hexagonal circle donut house as I have drawn, dreamt of, and cursed for it.

Please help out marriage be abundantly felicitously wealthy and able to help employ many people and companies.

So the Goddess and who Tay Tay is to me has, is, and does.  So mote it be… Amen.

LYRICS: Story of Us

© Taylor Alison Swift
Edited by Brent Ryan

I never thought one day we'd tell the story of us,

How we met and the sparks flew instantly,

People would say, "They're the crazy ones."

I used to know my place was living on my own,

Now I'm searching the room for your seat,

Somehow lately I always know what page you're on.

Oh, a simple communication,

Assimilation led to marriage.

So many things that I wish you knew,

So many walls that I pass right through.

[Chorus:]

Now I'm standing alone with you, in a crowded room, and we're kissing,

And I'm wanting to know is it wrecking you like it's wrecking me, yeah?

I never know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all began,

And the story of us looks a lot like a comedy now.

Next chapter.

How'd we end up this way?

See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy,

And you're doing your best to keep up with me.

I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us,

How I was losing my mind when I saw you here,

Holding your bride like someone more confused, might hold their pride.

Oh, I'm excited to see the beginning,

Why are we pretending this is nothing?

I'd tell you to kiss me but I don't know how,

I've never heard silence quite this loud.

[Chorus:]

Now I'm standing with you in our clergy room and we're vowing,

And I'm begging to know is it exciting you like it's exciting me, yeah?

I never know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all began,

And the story of us looks a lot like a comedy now.

This is looking like a sonnet,

Of who can guess what the other wants more,

And I like it most when you are on my side,

This marriage is in your hands now,

I laid my armor down

When you said you'd rather love than fight,

So many things that you wished I knew,

And the story of us has been beginning soon.

[Chorus:]

Now I'm standing with you in our reception room and we're dancing,

And I'm demanding to know is it wrecking you like it's wrecking me, yeah?

I never know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all began,

And the story of us looks a lot like a comedy now, now, now.

And we're beyond speaking,

And somehow I'm knowing you are loving me like I am loving you, yeah!

I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate we're already on,

And the story of us looks a lot like a comedy now.

Let’s begin.

Ok first question I would ask myself from an outside perspective; Why write this? Because I like to day dream and this is a present that I think I want. Will see. Taylor Swift writes lyrics from her life experience. I choose to be a positive person and so I am often reimagining the words she is saying because I love her and wish her to sing about us. If the Divine sees this as true then so shall it be, instead of my confusion clearing. Typing it out is just my way of organization as I write a lot. I write all this extra stuff because I feel compelled too... haven't really worked it out beyond that.

Why share this? every idea must touch another to exist and take form. A less cryptic answer might be because I like being painfully and humiliatingly honest. Secrets always have a shelf life and the effect tends to be worse the longer they are kept. So I choose to embrace honesty even if it is painful at times.

I like to pretend that she reads my blog because that is the limit to which I allow myself. First and foremost, I love her and want her to be happy, and so the best thing I can do is to do absolutely nothing.

I trust in the Divine to either make it happen or clear up my confusion. Regardless of what I believe behaving like a stalker would have the opposite effect of what I want. Besides she is something other than Prey to me.

How do I know I love someone? Because love is putting someone else's wants and desires ahead of your own. Obsession/infatuation is incredibly selfish and can quickly lead to the dark side. I have had ample experience with both in the past and that is how I know the difference personally. I have been depressed for most of my life. I am much happier now but the past has left me hypersensitive to even the hint of the dark side. This is also how I know that I love Taylor Alison Swift.

How can you love someone you hardly know? As Tay Tay says to know her is to listen to her songs. So I know enough to be sure that it is her and not some mental illusion/projection. I imagine our life together and the greater detail I fill in the easier it is to feel if it is true or not. This may sound strange to most but I am ok with strange.

I listen to Taylor Alison Swift's songs constantly. Her music helps me write and that is odd because lyrical music tends to be a very poor literary muse. I research and write constantly, so I am listening to her words and voice constantly. I have actually tried this before with other infatuations/obsessions and this is one of the ways I brought myself out of those holes of negativity. Conversely her voice has helped me become even happier and more joyful, loving, and happy. I believe that I used to be a real chore to be around... I wasn't a very good friend to anyone... At least the kind of friend that I 'want' to be.

How will Taylor Swift find you? That is a funny question because I have no real answer. My search for an answer has led to an interest in Tarot cards and Astrology. I trust in the Divine that it knows a way and is already seeing it realized. I know this because I often ask for help from the Divine and if I am confused then I quickly realize in what way that I am wrong. I continue to see Tay Tay as right and so I continue to believe.

LYRICS: Superstar

© Taylor Alison Swift
Minor Edits by Brent Ryan

This is wrong, but I can't help but feel like

There ain't nothing more out there

Misty morning, comes again and I can’t

Help but wish I could see your face

And I knew from the first song played

I'd be breaking all my rules to see you

You smile that beautiful smile and

All the girls’n’boys in the front row scream your name

So dim that spotlight, tell me things like

I never take my eyes off of you

I'm no one special, just another

Wide eyed boy who's desperately in love with you

Give me a photograph to hang on my wall, superstar

Morning loneliness, comes around when I'm not

Dreaming about you

When my world wakes up today

You'll be in another town

And I knew when I saw your face, I'd be

Counting down the ways to see you

You smile that beautiful smile and

All the girls’n’boys in the front row scream your name

So dim that spotlight, tell me things like

I never take my eyes off of you

I'm no one special, just another

Wide eyed boy who's desperately in love with you

Give me a photograph to hang on my wall, superstar

You play in bars, you play guitar

I'm invisible and everyone knows who you are

And you'll never see, sing me to sleep

Every night from the radio

So dim that spotlight, tell me things like

I never take my eyes off of you

I'm no one special, just another

Wide eyed boy who's desperately in love with you

Give me a photograph to hang on my wall, superstar

Sweet, sweet superstar, superstar

I only list my name to hopefully avoid confusion with unaltered lyrics. I love and dream of Taylor, and she is a woman and I am a man. So I pretty much just flipped 'girl' to 'boy' and 'girls in the front row' to 'girls'n'boys in the front row', more of a tongue twister but I believe she could easily sing it flawlessly. Whoever inspired the song "Mean" needs some serious mental help. Though it also is a good thing cause that means she is free to see me. ;)