Showing posts with label Swift. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Swift. Show all posts

3.07.2018

♥ 1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 5 ♥ 0 5 ♥ 0 2 ♥ Ba'Daes ♥ Ad-Libbed Song for Tay Tay


Ad-libbed from Fountain Wayne's song here.
---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---
[Intro]
+Taylor Swift has got it going on,
+Taylor Swift has got it going on,
+Taylor Swift has got it going on,
+Taylor Swift has got it going on...

[Verse 1]
Tay Tay, can I come over after school,?, {After school}
We can hang around by the pool, {Hang by the pool}
Did you happen to get back from your business trip,?, {Business trip}
Are you there, or are you trying to give me the slip.?. {Give me the slip}

[Pre-Chorus 1]
You know, I'm not the little boy that I used to be,
I'm all grown up now, baby, can't you see.?.

[Chorus]
Taylor Swift has got it going on,
Tay Tay's all I want and I've waited for so long,
Taylor Swift, can't you see? I'm just the man for you,
I always ask if I might be wrong;  But I'm in love with Taylor Swift,
Taylor Swift has got it going on,
Taylor Swift has got it going on...

[Verse 2]
Taylor Swift, do you remember when I mowed your lawn,?, {Mowed your lawn}
Taylor Swift came out with just a towel on, {Towel on}
I could tell you liked me from the way you stared, {Way you stared}
And the way you said, "You missed a spot over there"... {Spot over there}

[Pre-Chorus 2]
And I know that you think it's just a fantasy,
But since your boyfriend walked out, you could use a guy like me...

[Chorus]
Taylor Swift has got it going on,
Tay Tay's all I want and I've waited for so long,
Taylor Swift, can't you see? You're just the lady for me,
I always ask if I might be wrong;  But I'm in love with Taylor Swift...

[Guitar Solo]

[Chorus]
Taylor Swift has got it going on,
Tay Tay's all I want and I've waited for so long,
Taylor Swift, can't you see? I'm just the man for you,
I always ask if I might be wrong;  But I'm in love with Taylor Swift...

[Outro]
Taylor Swift, ah-oh-ah-oh, {I'm in love with-}
Taylor Swift, ah-oh-ah-oh, {Wait a minute}
Tay Tay, can't you see? You're just the lady for me,
I always ask if I might be wrong;  But I'm in love with Taylor Swift...

12.21.2017

♥ 1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 5 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 0 6 ♥ Ka'Daes ♥ An Open Letter to Ms. Taylor Alison Swift

Well Met +TaylorSwiftVEVO! Happy Birthday & Merry Winter Solstice 2017; & Will You Marry Me?

Will you, +Taylor Swift marry me? That could seem outrageous to some, though very thought out reasons for my feelings are held by me. Your Mer'Ka'Ba {Body, Mind, & Soul} is the most beautiful that has {and likely will} ever been seen or heard by me.


Mesmerizing is the way you choose to move and of course the shape of it, the timbre of your voice, and the character in your artistry. Frankly, our world is absent any specific individual that can compel the feeling of irresistible, indomitable, and eternal romantic love from me, as you.


Of course, your 'public' persona is part of your career. Much of that is looked past by me. That is to say that I mostly avoid consuming tabloids and other news articles about you.

For instance, my mother and I were at the grocery store last weekend. A tabloid paper had your name splashed on the page. Subconsciously gravitating towards your name, your songs on the radio, interviews, and images of you, are the senses of mine. It said that you had gained thirty-seven pounds and accused you of being fat. I've experienced being fat and that fails it be it.

Regardless of what it is called and the change to your body. Your being the most beautiful Mer'Ka'Ba in all of existence has failed to change for me.

Previous letters have explained how input from the Divine is gained by me. That does seem ludicrous to some, as they have said so to me. Yet, always there is the check for a response from you via email, phone, et cetera. Refusing to act upon solely on a voice in the head of mine, is the persistent choice of mine.

That is why who you are to me, is known to me. In addition, it is why there is a bi-daily prayer for you to respond {favorably or not} to me. If you told me to not email you again or contact you, that would be honored by me. Naturally a favorable response is what is of want by me.


Christmas as a holiday is loved by me. However, the original intent was Winter Solstice, think do I. Therefore, the holiday is on the original dates 20-22, as celebrated by me. Yet, that is far from excluding friends and family from celebrating whenever they choose.

Eternally, indomitably, and abundantly I am in love with the real you
 Ms. Taylor Alison Swift. That is the you without the makeup and photos with special lighting and expert photographers.

How you use your fame to support other artists from being trampled on by Apple and other companies, how extranet {internet} savvy are you, your love for Britain and Japan is shared by me, how you adore and admire your mother and father, how you prefer to spend time with your parents, family, and friends; And is loved by me.


On FaceBook there is a page that was created by me. As you respond please describe your response to the metaphysical ideas I have been penning down. The effort is to encourage others to look inside their heart for answers to their questions; Instead of creating another religion that looks to priests, buildings, and Popes for answers.

Grateful for the time and
Force that has been shared by you, am I. That the Goddess to eternally alights a way to happiness in your self-determined path.

Sincerely, Your Beloved,

Brent Michael Ryan

368 Merry ln

7.08.2017

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 4 ♥ 1 1 ♥ 0 0 ♥ Dias Lord; Are You A Successful Career Lady Who Wonders Where Is Your Potential Husband?

It is likely, that you have already become aware of good potential husbands.  All those who voted for the current Democrat Party or statist career politicians such as Senator John McCain, Representative Nancy Pollosi, Representative John Buener, Senator Susan Collins, Senator Patty Murray, Senator Maria Cantrell, Senator Mitch McConnell, et cetera have themselves for the reason.

Statists  always have some sort of mental illness.  At some point, typically do to unresolved trauma, their capacity to understand logic or reason fails.  In a society that increasingly promotes and  encourages people to feel victimized, and thus be a victim;  That mindset fails to attract quality relationships.  This is about recognizing your own power, instead of blaming the victim.

All have the capacity to play a victim, regardless of income, career, and/or material/spiritual wealth;  And it is horribly unattractive.  Find help to mentally and spiritually healthy.  That alone will immeasurably increase your attractiveness.

The Femma-Nazi grouping has successfully brainwashed women whether they know it or not.  Megyn Kelly and Katty Perry great examples of this.  The reason is because they fail to really soul search on what they want in a mate.

If you are already have a career that pays over six figures, or are independently wealthy;  Why insist on your mate doing the same.?.  Having a career that pays that much fails to equal good morals and a quality character.  There's are many ways of finding people who are more concerned with your character than your wealth.

Find a hobby that you enjoy, and/or find groups on meetup.com that center on one or more hobbies that you share.  In ages part women and men depended on finding quality men at church.  If you fail to go to church often, then maybe make time for a group activity that you do care about.  If you are too busy to find a spiritual path you do agree with, then that in itself is a problem.

Dating friends of friends, can be hit or miss, because your friends fails to really know what you want in a mate, or they are unlikely to agree.  It is also a good way to fail at finding another different than what you already know.

The point however, is that dating men who earn six figures or are independently wealthy, is only great if you are looking for someone who is likely to have a problem with you earning more than him.  Instead of sexism, this is simply the competitive drive that got him that far.  In today's wage-driven society, that is exactly how they got to the point of earning that much.  The last thing a person wants is to find their mate 'beating' you, and without anything you could do about it.

Men who recognize that logic and reasoning as failing, also tend to reject the wage-driven desire.  The desire to be competitive can be grouped with that as collateral damage.

The bLame Stream Media, likes to use the words "living in mother's basement" but why exactly is that a bad thing?  We should look to family for help first before thinking of letting the "state" pay for said individual to live on their own.

Yes, that description could apply to me, though there fails to be many basements in the northwest.  The lack of extreme weather makes them an unnecessary cost, verses just adding another level to the house.  However, that Californians may choose to think a little snow on the road in winter is "extreme weather" is already known.

Ironically, I consider myself extremely successful at writing stories, translating that into money is more of a challenge.  Being disabled with Rheumatoid Arthritis and a general A.A. degree makes it not easy to find a job that fails to let me sit in a chair.  That they exist I am sure, but my familychoose on their own to helps me

5.03.2017

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 4 ♥ 0 7 ♥ 1 4 ♥ Dias Lady; Dear Diary; An Open Letter to the Ideal Wife of My Dreams

Praying, to the Goddess, that my the I.W.o.M.D., Ideal Wife of My Dreams, either respond that she accepts a life and future with me, or that she do not, am I. Simply so that I can move on from this... whatever is this lifecycle that has me stuck in a holding pattern.  Other readers could see this as me needing her but they would be wrong.

Forty-two solar orbits in the past, my wonderstrukk mother, Mary, gave birth to exactly what she wanted, a baby boy… her only child, that would be me. My father, Randy, was in the U.S. Air Force as a technician at the time. That could have been a bit of foreshadowing as moving around a lot while growing up was my near future. Thus, primarily reacting to life was chosen by me, for at least the first half of my life. As with most children, the wisdom to actually use my free-will would come much later in life.

A year and a half, after graduating High-school in nineteen ninety-five; enlisting in the U.S. Navy seemed like a good idea, and I did enjoy it despite how it ended. The situational programming from life had suggested that I should want to be an engineer or architect like my mother and father, and I failed to know any better to question it.

While I was marginally successful at W.S.U. {Washington State University} in nineteen ninety-five, I was dissatisfied with the direction I was headed. Envisioning myself actually working as an engineer scared me... primarily because I lacked self-esteem and I had little genuine interest in such a life. Therefore the military seemed like a good way to do something while I figured out what was of want by me.

Being in the ocean was almost majikal to me. Therefore, I loved being a submariner. I entered on a contract to become a Nuclear Power technician for submarines after finishing boot camp. From my mother, 'mind over matter' was partially known to me and thus I entered bootcamp with determination to make it a fantastic experience, and successful was I.

However, Nuclear Power ‘A’ School was similar to W.S.U. in the experience of mine. Looking back now, the same reason I failed at W.S.U. was the same reason I passed N.P. ‘A’ School but without the necessary G.P.A. of 3.75 to continue in the pipeline. The year after I left the 'closed' that 'loophole'. 3.74 was what was awarded to me.

Therefore, among other options was the training to become a Missile Machinist Technician for the submarines that carry Nuclear Missiles... Completing M.M. Tech ‘A’ School in the top five trainees allowed me to be sent to the fleet after reviewing further education in S.I.N.S. {Ships Inertial Navigation System}

The knowledge of mind-over-matter that was illuminated to me at that point, failed to include how emotions, and thoughts, manifest reality itself. It was while serving on the U.S.S. Alaska {SSBN-732} that I began to understand what career is really of want by me.

Ultimately that is to write vampire steam-punk romance novels. Romance novels because happy endings are desired by me. Life itself can be negative enough without the desire to let it ‘corrupt’ my entertainment. However, should you embrace a life with me, that could change based on what helps you choose to be happy.

The desire to write interfered with my duties aboard the U.S.S. Alaska, and being mature or self disciplined enough to correct that inequity escaped my psyche. It would only gradually appear a decade, or more later, coincidentally when the Goddess illuminated who the I.W.o.M.D. most probably is, to me.

At that time, this conflict of interest created a great amount of stress. That lead me into a server clinical depression that was extraordinarily deep and unfathomable. Suicidal thoughts were common, and it was one of my friends who reported that to my superiors. That put me on a path of being disqualified to be a submariner. That is one of their rules, being suicidal at any time in life is considered a deal breaker. At the time, the effect suicide would have on my mother is the only thing that truly held me back.

The psychiatrist gave me the option of going to the surface fleet or being discharged. The compulsion to take the later displaced any desire for the former. Directing me into a new situation to grow and greatly improve my writing was the subconscious, believe now do I. However for a long time, the mistakes of seeing it as a failure possessed me.

Regret and seeing anything in the past as a mistake or failure is wrong, and only leads one to the Dark Side. That viewing such things as learning experiences, that we can avoid repeating, was illuminated to me. The key to avoid repeating these experience is to learn everything we can from it. Only with the aid of the Goddess was that possible for me.

In 2006 my mother gave me an audiobook of “The Secret” and I figured that what I am doing is failing to work for me, thus it is time to try something new. The audiobook quotes someone else as coincidentally saying that. The L.o.A., “Law of Attraction”, has subsequently, in many ways, saved my soul. Distinguish a soul from a lifecycle is essential, believe do I.

The life of a mortal coil is merely a vessel to experience a lifecycles. Ane end of the life-cycles currently experienced has been reached by me. By the grace of the Goddess all that there is to learn has been illuminated to me. All the decisions necessary to bed made before the next set of lifecycles had been made by me. This has left me in something in a holding pattern that disagrees with my will.

Most everything that is truly is of want, in the effort to manifest happiness, is easily manifested by me. The most critical component in the life that is of want, is the I.W.o.M.D. to embrace a life and future with as well. Why the Goddess only holds back from helping in this, is an excruciatingly frustrating mystery to me.

Since 2007, the Goddess continues to illuminate that +Taylor Alison Swift and I could help each other the most choose to be the happiest while married and parents raising children as we explore our careers. Of course, anyone who knows spellworks/prayer knows that it is impossible to change another entity. We can only change ourselves and that changes our reality; As reality is merely a reflection of us.

The answer to that dilemma is to write out what the Ideal Wife of My Dreams means to the source; And to only cast in regards to that; To envision actually living with the I.W.o.M.D., instead of an actual individual. Doing that only leads to the daydream being dissatisfying.  Being dissatisfied with our own dream, means the chances are high that these dreamer is confused on what is of want by them.

+taylor alison swift is a celebrity and she undoubtedly has many admirers, and thus surely this sounds insane.   Questioning the Goddess's wisdom on whether this is merely confusion of mine, often do I.  Yet in the past decade the only thing that has changed is inner growth, advancement, and learning of mine.  In addition, the adoration, admiration, and being absolutely, abundantly, and eternally in love for her, only increases for me.

By all public accounts +Taylor Swift is over thirteen years younger than me.  Being accused of wanting to "rob the cradle" is the kindest of what acquaintances and abundant number of strangers has accused of me.  Thinking that she is far more mature than a typical, almost twenty-nine year old, prefer do I.  There are other justifications for our relationship but there fails to be a valid one for trying to justify what is of want to immature strangers.

How the Lady has shown Her will to me is in coincidences, feelings, and flashes of memory, and in a few instances directly manifesting confirmation, that was requested but me.  Such as +Taylor Alison Swift is the only artist that I enjoy every song of every album she has has, is, and will create.  That includes the songs from other artists write and perform, that she performs in concerts.

My search for the identity of my I.W.o.M.D. began with a couple women before +TaylorSwiftVEVO, In those instances the negative response, from the Divine, was very clear to me. She is, with little doubt, the manifestation of what the I.W.o.M.D. is for me.

Of course, one of the cardinal pillars of what was written by me is that I am the I.H.o.H.D. {Ideal Husband of Her Dreams} Essentially what is of want is a companion and partner to share life and grow old together. There are many other details but they will remain offline for now.

The definition of a stalker has concerned me great deal. It is what has lead only irregular and infrequent attempts to contact +Taylor Alison Swift ; Avoiding attending her concerts or follow her in any way shape or form... Well except for buying and loving all her albums.  For someone without an paying occupation, that is a big deal.

The only response to stalking seems to be fear and sometimes paranoia.  That is the very last emotional response that is prayed for in the I.W.o.M.D. by me.

Fundamentally, stalking is the result of an obsession, think do I.  An obsession is entirely service-to-self and essentially a mind breaking disease.  Everything is about the source, and basically 'owning' whatever the obsession is about.  When the obsession is a person there are dangers for both the diseased entity and the target.  To put this more simply to obsess over another is entirely selfish.

Obsession is a feeling that is very well known to me.  Thankfully the experience has always fell short of hurting anyone other than myself.  However, this has allowed me to find the cure for obsession/depression and that is the Goddess... or whatever you happen to believe and want to call it.  Ask for the help of the Goddess to free, clear, and heal your mind.  If necessary, do this until you feel the 'feeling' lift.

That may sound similar to a few other religious recruiting tools, though that is all that is needed believe do I.  That is only a belief in a higher power, and asking that higher power to help you.


  • The Goddess abundantly wants to help you with anything that you happen to decide.
  • As a being of omnipotence, omnipresence, and indomitableness the Goddess is overwhelmingly able to help everyone equally simultaneously with the weight of the Lady's full attention.
  • As a couple other religions recognize, the idea that anything is trivial is an absolute falsehood;  And if it matters to us, then it matters to the Lady.


That is the whole of the cure for any entity suffering from depression.  Self experience is what has taught this to me.


  • Why does the Goddess let bad things happen?  We chose to experience them.
  • Why does the Goddess let people choose to be bad?  Because we gave ourselves Free-Will in this life.
  • Why does the Goddess refrain from helping me?  Most likely because either you fail to ask the Lady for help;  Or, you are confused on what is actually of want by you.  Maybe to clear the confusion, envision already having what you think you want.  If you fail to be satisfied, then that probably isn't what you are really after.


In case the reader is wondering, the Goddess is often in my prayers for clarification, freeing, and healing regarding the I.W.o.M.D. and Tay Tay.  As I have said before, the Lady only intensifies my adoration, admiration, and being in love with her.

A test to discount obsession is daydreaming of living a life with them.  To further estrange yourself from obsession, do what I do, and focus less on who the I.W.o.M.D. is and more one what the other means.  Given the Goddess has seemingly seen fit to show me who is the I.W.o.M.D., this is a little difficult for me.  However, again to change the realm we live in we must change/alter ourselves.

Perhaps answer the questions of: How will your life be different?  What character traits/skills do they possess?  What do they enjoy doing?  What are you willing to separate from your life to make room for this person?  For me, the answer is almost everything and what I would want to only diminish the presence of is for instance, my parents.

A forty-two year old virgin, disabled, starving writer that lives at home with his parents, is me;  Wants to embrace a life and future with someone else.  Naturally, our parents will still have a presence, just a diminished one, for at least mine.  An actual place of employment escapes me.

This entire letter has been written by me to alleviate the inequity of how little of me that can by found on the internet, versus knowing a shade of who you are by your lyrics and life choices.

Nonetheless, another cardinal truth is that an entity that is confused rarely knows that they are so. That there is a daily reminder to pray to the Goddess for an overwhelmingly compulsion to notice who is the I.W.o.M.D., by me. A prayer for the Goddess to obfuscate less and falsified and abundantly illuminate the truth to me.

Of course, the Goddess does answer, though that fails to awards the right to force the knowledge on another through physical manipulation of reality by me. Regardless of how true vision of spirituality and religion is to me; Other souls are in their own lifecycles and are leaving at their own pace.

All but one other system of religion/spirituality have been fundamentally corrupted to varying degrees. However there is enough for in them to guide any soul should they seek it. There is only one key code to make; and abandoning service-to-self, and embracing service-to-others, is realized by me.

Both are perfectly valid paths, though the leader of service-to-self is Baal'Zebub and he is stuck at the last tenth of the fifth density. He is stick because he refuses to realizes the cardinal rule of All is One.  The realization that he is both the yin and the yang.

However, Baal'Zebub fails to be a facet of the Divine.  We see the Divine as the Lady, the Force, or the Lord, because of our point of view on the Prime Material. {Reality}  He is simply an ED.B.E. {Extra-Dimensional Biological Entity} that has graced a few of the nephilims {humans} on Terra in accordance to their own free-will.


So **passively accepting**

I.W.o.M.D. will you marry me?


Sincerely, with adoration, admiration, and being in love with you,

Brent Michael Ryan
Burbank, Wa
{s!x-f00r-s!x} thr33-3!ght-n!n3…s3v3n-3!ght-f00r-s!x

12.28.2016

1 3♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 4 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 0 8 ♥ Dias Apollo; Dear Diary; Dream Journal

=/\=This is the last two dreams with +Taylor Swift +Taylor Alison Swift +taylor alison swift +Taylor Alison Swift  that is within the ability to recall for me.  Many dream of celebrities, sure am I.  However, specifically the I.W.o.M.D. {Ideal Wife of My Dreams} is who enters prayers of mine.  This is important as to help maintain an openness to the idea of being wrong.  As I have elaborated in other posts, the Goddess illuminates her as the I.W.o.M.D. consistently, in many other ways.

Again, the description of a dream that follows is only the perception of mine.  Instead of revealing any events from the perception of mine, for reality.=/\=

The dream was of being invited and attending a party/movie-night at Tay Tay's house. It was a romantic comedy that while watching, Tay Tay chose to sit next to me.

The actual movie was mostly irrelevant and my attention was on Tay Tay.  Maybe this could have been a clue that it was a dream, except to the exclusion of surroundings being able to narrow my focus is a skill that I possess.

After these movie, there was mingling among the crowd, but Tay Tay had vanished, from my perception. Looking for her does I. When the location of where she was revealed to me, she was surrounded by friends and family.

Uncertain of the exact protocol for this scene was I.  Maybe simply leaving was the right thing to do for me.  On the other side of the country lived I. Going 'home' would be problematic and it failed to be previously considered.

Asked to see Tay Tay did I. Yet they were unmoved and unwilling to allow me access to her.

"Look… will you please just ask her if she wants to see me, before I leave?"

Again, that prospective action seemed to loom over me.  However, instead of anyone else to deal with, it could be a problem to deal by me alone.

Parents have already helped a great deal above and beyond the call of duty, in the four decades of life that has cycled for me.  ‘Asking’ for help from them, even to get clear across the country back to their home, was especially disfavored by me.

Out of these Aether, Tay Tay sliced through the barrier, her friends and family formed, and gently grabbed my hand.

"You are staying here…" Tay Tay clearly spoke to me, but it is clear the words are meant to be pay heed by her protectors.

Before awakening, there is a clear idea in my ‘dream’ consciousness that I would be sleeping in a side room or something such as that.  However, beforehand the order of protocol had yet to be establish.

At that point, awaken from slumber do I.

=/\= Only as writing the next dream here was began, was the first dream with Tay Tay remembered by me.  It is quite clear despite being almost eight years in the past of mine.=/\=

The scene is Pasco, Wa Airport.  My dream consciousness knew this location without being told in any way.  Tay Tay and I sat at a table and we got to know each other better.

The exact topics of conversation were a mystery, even in the dream at the time, to me.  Simply only the jumble of pleasant emotions were clear.

The table was round and white but there failed to be anyone sitting.  Only her personal and airport security were present in the distant background.  Maybe her mother, and/or other friends were there, even in the dream it was mostly vague to me.

The emotions and perception that the end came to quickly was present as Tay Tay bid a form of goodbye with the promise to meet again.

“May I go with you!?!”  Was clearly blurted out without thought by me.  If thought had accompanied it, shyness would have likely hide it.

Pleasant surprise colored Tay Tay’s expression for some reason.  She seemed confused on why it was easy to leave all that is known, for me.

Alas, that is where I was awoken by my mother.  I tried to return to the dream but, if I did the experience is currently beyond the ability to be recalled by me.

=/\=What follows is a collection of other reoccurring dreams that may or may not include other friends and family of mine.  Tay Tay is the lone celebrity to ever grace never-never-land, according to the ability to recall memories by me.?

This particular one was repeated often when slumbering, for me.=/\=

The scene is a sea dock made of wood covered in thick syrupy fog, and there is a pub.

The thick smell of the sea permeates the air at night.  The pub is active and thus there are periodically people who come and go.  The fog either reluctantly lets them go or engulfs them as they arrive or leave.

A mystery there is to why be I.  Kevin Stockard is a friend from around sixth grade in Burbank, Wa.  In 1989, father drug the family to Orofino, Id for six months.  However, Kevin wrote letters and remained a friend since then, for me.

That is unusual, Leaving is what most people do, that get awarded the title of ‘Friend’ by me.  How they leave has varied from simply moving away, stealing, and/or baseless accusations of criminal activity.

This is one of the few pillars that made recovering from depression more difficult for me.  Abundantly reversing negative self-worth into the positive is required.  That is difficult if society itself calls the self a failure.

The dream moves with me entering the pub and finding Kevin.  This dream first visited me when I was in High School.  It would somewhat prove correct as after I left the Navy I was twenty five years old.  Parents welcomed, what turned into, an indefinite return to home.

A year later parents moved to Burbank, Wa and went with them did I.  Then a very negative person was I.  However, Kevin was still living in the Tri-Cities, Wa at the time and thus the dream proved correct.

There were variations of this dream, mixed with another.  The variations consisted of me jumping off the dock and into what ‘must’ be water.  Except there never was water, just an endless abyss of fog.

Perhaps that was a warning of against actually committing suicide.  Such thoughts have graced my mind in the distant past.  Now they have become a lot more positive and uplifting.

Death is only a transformation.  As Yoda says: “Luminous beings are we…  Not this crude matter…”  Another Axiom that I either discovered, or heard beyond the ability to recall the memory by me: “A soul has a body;  Instead of a body having a soul.” The point is committing suicide is a selfish act.  If it is truly my time to die, then my higher self with see it done without my conscious decision.

There must be some reason for my continued life, since alive still am I.  Also the realization that being happy with my current life cycle, will lead to the arrival of the next.

=/\=Another reoccurring dream that began when I was in second grade, is what follows. =/\=

The scene has two locations.  Either it is in an arcade center, or it is in the middle of a six lane highway that ran near the arcade.

If in the Arcade, an attempt to find mother and father is made by me.  Invariably mother is playing “Time Pilot” because it was a game she loved most there.

Walking out of the arcade center and down a poorly paved road is either mother and I, or myself alone.

The weather is heavy rain.  West of the Cascade Mts. in Washington state is where we lived.  Anyone who has been there knows that ‘Forks’ fails to be the only small town that rarely sees the sun.

The middle of the highway with three lanes either side, stopped are we, or I.  A concrete divider is what separates the traffic.

Any further progress to get off the road fails to be met with success by me.  There is still two more directions to travel, and so those are the directions searched by us, or I.  Searching for father are we.

The other version of this dream, begins on the highway and always alone then am I.  Searching for mother and father am I.

Any ulterior message to this dream eludes understanding by me.  Maybe there is some branch in the Tree of Life where it does make sense to me.  However, given the subject matter, that it fails to relate is something that is enjoyed by me.

12.27.2016

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 4 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 0 7 ♥ Dias Wodnes; Dear Diary, Lucid Dreaming

While sleeping last night a wonderful and beautiful dream with +Taylor Swift +Taylor Alison Swift +Taylor Alison Swift, graced me.  This has happened a few times recently to me.  This dream has inspired me to begin to enter them into my diary.  This catalyst is accompanied with a desire to dream lucidly more frequently;  And increase the lucidity while dreaming.  This record is published online, to help overcome my shyness and enhance my self-confidence.

Those who know, are aware that writing out our dreams is an easy way to advance into lucid dreaming.  Certain sounds and subliminal messaging has seemingly helped accelerate the growth of mine.  However, it seems a journal is the only actual catalyst that has been discovered by me.

If there is a dream featuring coital exercises, succinct, concise, and clear will be what is told by me.  Instead of illustrating the activity any.  However, that has yet to occur in recent memory.

The dreams are written from recent to farther in the past.

=/\= Admittedly, a few of the finer details are added to help relay the scene.  The precise details are found through remote viewing as this journal entry is written, by me.  So the chance of error is present, yet to be true is believed by me. =/\=

First off we are in a restaurant, believe do I.  We are sitting in a booth and Tay Tay and I are sitting together opposite of someone else.  The table is clean, waxed, and tan colored.  The bench seats have a dark red colored leathery cushions.

The shoulder length straight blond hair frames the aristocratic beautifully chiseled face of Tay Tay.  The length of her hair is just above her shoulders.  She is wearing a red cashmere top and black dress slacks.

What the visitor is saying is unclear to me but towards our relationship, a negativity is sensed by me.  What is the protocol, is unclear to me.  An idea comes to mind that perhaps the distance between us is to small, by me.

The response from Tay Tay is immediate, as she moves closer with our hips touching side by side.

At this point, the conscious mind begins to swell from the background and I force myself to put my arm around Tay Tay’s shoulder.  Her response is again immediate and she leans into my chest.

That is the time when I wake up.  The feeling of abundant happiness, serenity, and tranquility pervades into my awakening conscious mind of mine…  As was said previously, this was perhaps one of the most beautiful dreams that has graced my slumber in four decades of life.

=/\= The new supergirl television series on CW has inspired a reoccurring dream.  However the dream is different in that Kara’el {Tay Tay} is Superman’s sister and they were never separated and are close to the same age.

What I relay is strictly the perception of mine, in the dream.  This is shorter because the details are beyond the ability of my current self to recall.=/\=

Maybe Jimmy in this scene, is the point of view of mine;  Because for some reason a distant contact with Superman, was had by me.  Maybe I was a high school friend or something.  As a teenager, young adult, the time to go adventuring was limiting for me, by studying.

Kara’el {Tay Tay} and I meet when she is attending the same university.  They are in the same class as superstars of movies, television, music, et cetera.  Thus her reciprocating my interest in her, amazes me.

Kal’el gets wind of my interest in Kara’el and reflexively objects to my courtship of her.  That he fails to actually ask what Kara’el wants seems apparent to me, especially now as this is typed by me.

However, as mentioned, Kara’el reciprocates my interest in her and that leads to us furthering us courting each other further in secret.  It certainly seems difficult to do this but somehow we manage.  Perhaps the fact that Kara’el is Kal’el’s younger sister enables us to skirt his perception.

The dream ends with us being discovered by Kal’el.  There is a sense that Kara’el is being more assertive in defending me and our relationship from her older brother.

Fantastically there are any number of ways this could be expanded upon with detail, by me.  However, relaying the dream itself is the actual purpose of mine.

10.18.2016

1 3 ❤ 0 0 ❤ 0 3 ❤ 1 5 ❤ 1 7 ❤ Dias Ba; Khloe Kardashian obsesses about being forced to work for Donald Trump on Celebrity Apprentice

On the subject of "... failing to think..." +Khloe Kardashian is abundantly correct, she does. However, to be fair I doubt any of the Kardashians actually use the brain the Goddess gave them.

If Khloe Kardashian did? She would realize that their show failed to be the problem. They would have realized that all the security experts were right when they got Apple to give us the ability to turn off location sharing on our iPhones and iPadds FridaySeptember 13th, 2013.

If only the Kardashians had a functional brain among them; They would have realized that it would be ok to wait twenty-four hours before uploading any new video/photo. Most of the fans/audience would fail to know the difference, or object to it if they did.

They would have actually realized it is a good idea for celebrities to hire actual security guards. Or were they just too stooge to want to part with their hard earned money?

Because of this, the Goddess blesses all sapients who ignore them and any other celebrity who comments on politics. They should learn from the example of the Dixie Chicks and stick to their actual jobs, even if their interviewer 'begs' them to comment.

They will be fortunate if this business blunder fails to alienate any of their fans. Even if most of their audience are mentally ill statists, just having 'one' ex-fan because of their ill conceived opinion impacts their wallet.

This may be why Taylor Alison Swift refuses to publicize political comments, believe do I. List as a Republican does she, is probably lost to the 'supermajority' of fans of hers. Refusing to ever go to the "White House" does she, despite being invited multiple times, is probably also unknown to her fans. Blessed are the celebrities who avoid alienating their fans just because they hold different beliefs in politics at the time.

Though Hollywood has seemingly turned against +Taylor Swift because of their rabid fascism for statism.  Seemingly all of Hollywood must pass their litmus test and stand against Donald Trump.  That pretty much rings as a resounding endorsement for the rest of America but Hollywood and District of Columbia fail to get it.

Even though this works in my favor regarding Tay Tay, saddened this has made me.  Being staunchly libertarian for over a decade on the internet have I;  And that would give a hint to where are Tay Tay's politics.  The favor being her, the I.W.o.M.D., consciously sending me, the I.H.o.H.D., a message accepting my marriage proposal.

However, this just goes to show how clueless statists typically are, because how an individual chooses to live their life is a sign of what are their true politics.  Tay Tay has always taken responsibility for her own actions and has abundantly helped others.  Conversely, the Kardashians have always failed to taken responsibility for anything, and has abundantly been a drain on society at large.

Moreover, the lie that statists continue to try to call themselves "liberal" is what confuses the less educated plebeians.  Fundamentally the word Liberal means Libertarian.  In the MainStream Media, the word Liberal means the rabid fascist statists who sign onto the Democrat Party.  That which stopped being "liberal" in the early 1900s, specifically to 'start' the confusion between the two realms.

Please join me in refusing to appease these rabid fascist statists in their obsession with being falsely called Liberal.  Call them correctly what they are fascist statists.  Fascist because they abhor the mere existence of opposition, and statist because that is exactly what they want an all powerful godlike state.  Anything that empowers #DistrictofColumbia is what they want.

To answer a question yes the party's correct name is "Democrat Party"  They even acknowledge that with their handle on Google+ and Twitter.  The LSM's lame attempt to try and reinvent history is to be expected because that is what they do when faced with history that they dislike and destroys their false narrative.

9.15.2016

1 3 ❤ 0 0 ❤ 0 3 ❤ 1 4 ❤ 0 5 ❤ Dedicated to I.W.o.M.D. are Three Poems from Me

For +Taylor Swift,
I would gratefully walk a mile,
If that would give me a chance,
To see you smile.

I'd call you my friend,
But that's a lie,
You mean all to me,
And it is unknown why.

For you are more precious to me,
Than all the omniverse's gold,
But I can't tell you that,
That would be that bold.

If I spoke what's on my mind,
I hope that you embrace me,
Because without you,
There would be nowhere for me to be.

You seem to be calm,
While I feel abundantly lost,
I daydream of us living boldly,
And I keep seeing failure's cost.

I seem the only one faced with this choice,
Be daring and imagine a future with you too,
If I can't have that; Then I'd rather lose everything,
I am the Goddess what I should do.

.........

We have not yet kissed,
We have not touched each others heart,
I have only sat back and hoped that,
The other one would give this a start.

What would it be to touch your lips once?
What would it be to hold you every night?
What would it be to look into your eyes,
And at the same time know I've seen the light.

Words can only say so much,
As to how I feel about you,
Actions can only come form the heart,
Therefore a kiss- would make my words true.

.........

I love you more every day,
And more in every way,
My name I long for you to say.
Thy knows this ❤️ love fails to be wordplay?
This love we feel will you allay?

Sometimes I wonder what you think,
Hope do I that my messages inspire you to blink.
When you hear my name, do your cheeks turn pink?
Every night about me do you dream?

Wish to hug and hold you free,
That you reciprocate what you see.
You know our love is meant to be?
Together forever, maybe you and me?

Through my mind questions do run with the tide,
Crazy driven by wanting, you to decide,
What is of want by thy heart, I wish you would confide.
Do you even know that I abide?
Or do you wish I keep my feelings inside?

Keep them locked up, or let them free,
What else to do fails to be known by me.

My heart it aches, my heart is sore,
My love it overtakes, my love is evermore.

Any future of want by thy,
More than a bisector, we do decree,
Will by fiancée of yours is thy,
Time and space fails to hold my love for thee.

* Originally written by LeAnE
* Adlibed by me

.........

All I ever want is to be part of your heart,
For us to be together, to refuse to be apart.

All abundantly fail to compare,
You're you are beautiful and so is this love that we share.

We have so much more than I ever thought we would,
I love you more than I ever thought I could.

I promise to give you all there is for me to give,
I'll do all for you for as long as I live.

In your eyes, I see our future, present, and past,
The Goddess files me with knowing that we will last.

That you come to realize now, I hope and pray,
Through our lives we are beautiful through the end of days.

6.12.2015

1 3 ❤ 0 0 ❤ 0 2 ❤ 0 9 ❤ 0 4 ❤ Dies Ma: Personal Journal

Stardate 13.00.02.09.04; 20:13

I am nearing the end of this cycle of my life.  I used to be so depressed that I was suicidal.  I still am depressed somewhat but I have healed to abundantly healthy my self-esteem/image.  I have lost a lot of weight and am loosing more.  I love who I am now and I cherish my past even as I am most adamant to never repeat any cycle from this life ever again.

Thus I have gun to think about spiritual plane and past lives.  I have made a new rule for myself with my ego.  I pray to the Goddess that she absolutely and abundantly helps me manifest this rule to my satisfaction... well, really to help me manifest anything that I want enough to pray to Her for.  I have already written out my prayer for the soul mate that I is an Ideal Wife of my dreams for me.  As I am the Ideal Husband of her dreams.

The new rule is to absolutely and abundantly remember any and all other lifecycles that I have lived. I think, remembering present or future ones would be too confusing.  I further limit these memories to be equalized all emotions both Light and Dark Side of the Force.  I want to remember them but I must ensure that my focus is on the lifecycle I am living.

I have had a mental conversation with a voice in my head that I perceive as +Mrs. Taylor Alison Swift Ryan/+Taylor Alison Swift .  As always I refuse to physically do anything based on this conversation without actual physical verification that it was true.  Thus I maintain my sanity, and protect myself from biological and energy based entities of the #Dark #Side.

Yes I am a Master of the Jedi {Reverend};  However, I have started my own order that is very much based on Hermetic, Edgar Cayce, Jesus, Buddhism, and Judaism.  The reason I keep the name is because the movies describes the Force exceptionally well, though George Lucas's mind failed to comprehend a couple key pieces of information I believe spirits relayed to him about that reality.

It is Father's Day this weekend.

We went to +The Home Depot in Richland, Wa today and got an uber  +DeWalt Factory Service's water pressure washer.  The water pressure is above 3k PSI.  That means it could cut through wood if I let the spray get too close.  I just need to blast the surface on the top of the pergola of our patio.

My parents failed to get an Air Paint Sprayer to help me paint the rest of the Pergola after priming it.  I suppose this is to be expected.  Randy perpetually fails to grasp the concept of why to get a tool unless he himself experiences the want of it.

For instance, while Randy was over 350 lbs of weight he failed to ever mow the lawn.  I did it.  My mom did most of the racking but I helped and we both wanted to get a grass catcher to hook up to the back of our riding lawn mower.

However, because Randy failed to ever mow the lawn, he also failed to grasp advantage of having a grass catcher.  Years later, now that he has actually gotten to repeatedly mow the lawn he understands and fully feels the want of having a grass catcher... or paying someone to mow the lawn for him.  Which is the easy and more expensive way out.  My father is without any concept of the money he spends, he acts like it grows on trees.

Thankfully I am a momma's boy.  Mary is more emotionally and spiritually attuned to her Higher Self/Soul, as am I.  She fully comprehends and agrees with me with the want and advantage of having both a grass catcher and a Air Paint Sprayer.

Ma is also the one who does the bills, which undoubted leads to my Pa, Randy failing to understand the ramifications of the monetary cost with what he wants.

I adore, admire, and love my Pa though I believe Randy is nearing the end of his own lifecycle and is just refusing to grow any further.  I am really unable to understand this, but having a asshat facet to affix to the top of his head {emotionally} has long been his way since he was a small child; according to reports from himself and his mother, grandma.

So without anything to do with my depression, is my desire to die.  I know that I am at the end of my own lifecycle.  It has been and still is excruciatingly painful physically and mentally.  Depression is just that, emotional pain from psychic trauma.  The trauma is without anything to do with Randy, though I have allowed his asshat tendencies to help exacerbate my Depression further.

We control the effect words, actions, and other people have on us.  Whether something is offensive or not, is for the Self to decide.

Instead of thinking or feeling, the Goddess has told me repeatedly for sevenish years now that +Taylor Alison Swift is a soulmate with me, that her higher self chose to be the Ideal Wife of my dreams, as I am the Ideal Husband of her dreams.  Thus the only reason my life has failed to move from this Purgatory my lifecycle is in, is because Tay Tay's ego has yet to choose to accept what her superego wants to do.

Of course, this may sound insane to most.  I dislike people choosing that but it is beyond my control.  Therefore, I have severed myself from caring what others think about me.  I only care what my loved ones think of me, including in paramount myself.

I am also without any control over what any facet of my Ideal Wife's self chooses, let alone what her Ego chooses.  Therefore I wish to, and pray for the Goddess to absolutely and abundantly control, direct, guide, help, inspire, manipulate, and motivate myself to die tonight painlessly, quickly, and quietly while I sleep.  That is the one thing I can control.

Upon further inquiry and discovery during this past couple years, the Goddess repeatedly informs me that Tay Tay is the Ideal Wife of my dreams.  Her ego has refused to choose to accept what her SuperEgo wants, or to refuse it.  That is her Goddess given right of course.  We all have Free Will up until the point the present has become the past.  Even then, daydreaming a different course, can have drastic impact upon a lifecycle.

I can certainly understand hesitation but this is way beyond procrastination.  Over seven years of waiting and the Ideal Wife of my dreams still has yet to choose is beyond even my willingness to wait.  I am done with waiting and thus I beg/Pray for the Goddess to abundantly help me end this lifecycle.

As I said the Goddess says the Ideal Wife of my Dreams is Tay Tay.  It makes since why her ego is so torn on what to do.  Even that understanding has limits.  Seven is a good number and I am done.  I simply live with too much physical and emotional pain to wait in Purgatory for the chance my life could resume at any moment.

This is where inaction is still an action.  Thus the Ego of the Ideal Wife of my dreams has indirectly chosen to refuse to follow the volition of her SuperEgo.

As I close this entry out, I believe that I am astonished at how well I have written this.  I have yet to read them but I sense my earlier entries may have been from a more emotional filled point of view.  That lowers brain waives and reduces the intelligence in use from our Brain is capable of.

So if I finally get what I want tonight.  My mother will be the one most traumatized.  She may come here to this blog her Higher Self sees it as a good thing to do.  Thus I also pray that She understands my death is like any other normal or accidental death, instead of a suicide.  That is my Higher Self chose this as an OUT.

3.11.2015

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 2 ♥ 0 4 ♥ 1 1 ♥ Dies Wodens ~ Do You Remember The Time When...

In early 1993 before I began my senior year in high school an old friend of mine and I played around with a +Ouija Boards my family had at that time.  I mean come on, what suburban #American household does not have a #Ouija #Board as a game to play.?.

Anyhow, at the time I was obsessive compulsive over mainly two girls that attended high school with me.  A couple years ago I discovered that at least one of them is still deathly afraid of me.  I find that rather ironic and laugh, considering how positive minded I am and having found who I believe will be my first #wife.  So I simply say a small prayer to the #Goddess to #bless them and move on.  I mean, actually inspiring fear, anger, hate, or any other #Dark #Side emotion is abundantly the exact opposite of what I ever wanted.

Now that I am a much happier person, being in love with Taylor Swift has allowed me to learn the difference between being in love, and obsession.  The latter is an exceptionally selfish and self-centered state of mind that only exists in mentally dis-eased minds.

A few of those who have chosen to read earlier submissions of mine to this personal journal of mine, may not realize that I am far from O.C.D. about Taylor Swift.

After two decades I consider the high school subjects have, such belief is rigidly set in their minds.  Even if they allowed me to address the fear when they first created it, I doubt I would have got anywhere.  They do not see that I am abundantly sane;  Instead of seeing that I am just different from the average normal person.

I did try to say this to one but as I said, her response was to put me on ignore.  Who knows maybe Tay Tay has done something similar with me.  However, I suspect she wrote a song about me… not one especially favorable with what I want so not exactly something I would specifically ‘hope’ for.  The song does send the message that she continues to view me favorably though so it is kinda #positive overall in a way.

Yet, a publically released song with lyrics that fail to mention my name or any particular detail of my life that I make abundantly public on purpose;  Does not equal a justifiable reason to try to find a way to contact her privately.  I mean, from past experience I have established a clear protocol with girls I am interested in.

I pray to the Goddess:  That if the woman fails to be the Ideal Wife of My Dreams, then please absolutely, abundantly, and indomitably help me move on.  And that worked flawlessly until Tay Tay.

Then I added a second part: Please also help illuminate to me who is the Ideal Wife of My Dreams.  I was tired of being wrong repeatedly.  That method worked flawlessly until #Taylor #Swift was illuminated to me.  I have admitted to myself and Higher Self that I will avoid ever repeated any life-lesson such as this one in any future life.

Recovering, growing, and advancing my own dis-eased mind out of its mental illness and into the positive Light Side while being separated from the Ideal Wife of My Dreams.  The preternatural stress in the unequal disparity makes recovery extremely difficult.  I have done all that I know how to, and more, to reduce the stress but it’s like taking cold medicine… it fails to ‘cure’ the problem.

I am abundantly grateful to my spirit guides and Guardian Angels and ArchAngel Michael for indomitably continuing to help me overcome all obstacles.

Due to Tay Tay’s response of silence through the #Prime #Material, I continue to daily pray for the Goddess to help me move on and illuminate to me who is the Ideal Wife of My Dreams.  I have mentioned the actual words of this dream in earlier posts.  Thus egos may be confused, thus I remind them that I refuse to cast any spell on Tay Tay by praying that the Goddess does anything to her #materia.

Her Higher Self would have to agree of course but that fails to mean the mental onion of her ego also agrees.  Therefore I initially pray for the Goddess to absolutely, abundantly, and indomitably help the Ideal Wife of My Dreams sweep me off my feet and elope with me, as I am the Ideal Husband of Her Dreams.

Due to spells cast on myself and altering my own #materia, I do believe I have communicated with Tay Tay’s #Higher #Self, but I think that I have not communicated with her ego spiritually… primarily because of her continued silence.



So back to the to the 1993 Ouija Board prediction in 1993.  My very old friend from High School reminded me that the spirits telegraphying through the game board specifically named Taylor Swift as an Ideal Wife of My Dreams.  As I said I was O.C.D. about a cheerleader named Shelby McBride and I had the horrible assumption that Taylor was a guy’s name, thus I virtually wiped the memory from my corporeal consciousness.  Only my old Friend’s memory helped me remember this.

In 1993, as a foolish and ignorant teenage male, I thought that Swift was also a very weird last name.  Therefore I thought that if the Ouija Board did work, the spirits was fooling with me.  If it was just the inner core of the mental onion of my ego such as the statists want to believe, then I was at a complete loss of how to interpret it.

There is also what I believe is a baby picture of Taylor Swift that I drew in charcoal when I was an 8th Grade student attending an art class at #Orofino #Middle #School of #Idaho.  I mean it is a cute baby picture but it is a freehand drawing of a baby picture and so I think it fails to exactly be credible proof to anyone other than herself, me, and maybe family… family includes close best friends.

In the interest of transparency, I do wonder if this particular post is just another excuse to write about Tay Tay and myself.  If it is then I am ok with that.  I pray that through this journal the Goddess absolutely, abundantly, and indomitably helps the Ideal Wife of My Dreams choose to sweep me off my feet and elope with me;  As I am the Ideal Husband of Her Dreams.

Yes I did have to reword and rewrite that spell to be without any mention of a specific name.  The Goddess helps me be eternally mindfully vigilant with myself and my choices.

I do also pray daily that my Higher Self disanimates this body for me.  I have sincerely repented for all of what I perceive are sins, and so I am without any fear or doubt what will be my karmic balance.  Most importantly now that my recovery life cycle is complete I feel an absolute and indomitable void of any want to continue with my life-purpose WITHOUT the Ideal Wife of My Dreams.

I know this means my mental onion of my ego will simply be mirrored into a fresh life, with the same life-purpose.  However, I know we choose everything about any lifetime we live.  We choose everything about history, birth, and until death, which we also choose.

Of course, my ego will have to wait until the Ideal Wife of My Dreams is done with her lifetime but I am great with that.  I have lived without her for forty years and I can say with absolute sincerity and great feeling that I will avoid ever doing that again.

Earlier posts have conveyed this idea in a different way.  Hopefully this will convince anyone else who is concerned about my mental health.  Going against my Higher Self and committing suicide harms our very soul… So why do it?  My Higher Self is my personality, ideals, morals, and ethics so something about seeing this lifetime from the Spiritual Plane has changed my mind before… or the Higher Self of someone else has promised something and failed to deliver.


Thus I have prayed to the Goddess to sever all ties between me and all other souls connected to my own for this particular lifetime, Prime Material.  Actually ‘performing’ what was promised is the only act that I wish will keep my heart beating beyond this point.

I abhor the idea of hurting Tay Tay in any way shape or form.  However, why should she care what happens to me since she obviously does not choose me to be the Ideal Husband of Her Dreams... Right?

2.24.2015

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 2 ♥ 0 3 ♥ 1 4 ♥ Dies Tyr

About nine years ago I knew this guy Mr. Allen.  He found a girl and discovered sex, and subsequently forgot about the people who thought they were good friends of his.  Obviously that was wrong, and I decided at that moment to cut any link there may have been with someone such as that.  I mean, someone who is so fickle that they toss and turn towards whatever direction the winds blow.

I thought about Mr. Allen a bit ago and I realized that in many ways I failed to be much better of a friend in general.  I was clinically and suicidally depressed and that is a very selfish state of being.  I think, the most such people are capable of is casual acquaintances.

After several years I dug myself out of that hell but I maintain my original decision was the correct one.  It just took me that long to realize that at the time, I was the same;  Yet it is difficult to sever yourself out of your own life.

Anyhow, Mr. Allen's relationship with the girl progressed and they ended up getting married.  At that time he subsequently remembered he had friends in the past and invited them to the wedding.  I refused to attend, and apparently that upset him.  I was happy it upset him...  I had yet to figure out it is better to transcend Dark Side emotions, even if they bring momentary happiness.

About a year later is when some other people Mr. & Mrs. Hale, who I also mistakenly thought were friends.  However, the clarification that I was mistaken failed to be precipitated by me, this time.  Anyhow at the time I thought they were great and they told me Mr. Allen was upset and holding a grudge.

I said that was awesome that Mr. Allen just figured out, he failed to have me as a friend.  Of course, I imagine he still thinks I am the one that severed that relationship for some reason he fails to understand.  Or maybe he thinks he does understand it.  However, I doubt he actually acknowledges that he is the one who annulled the potential friendship two years previously.  Sapients, myself included, preternaturally favor avoiding accepting responsibility.  It takes real effort to force yourself to consider it.

The reason I refer to these friendships as fictitious or illusionary is because I believe true friendship is eternal and transcends time and place.  A 'true' friend refuses to forget about you just because they are preoccupied or fixated on another person or something else.

Still, I have grown to the point of wishing many blessing from the Goddess upon Mr. & Mrs. Allen.  Actual friendship with them is impossible.  Prior history has already shown our Higher Selfs are too dissimilar.  However, I understand why he chose to ignore me and everyone previously in his life and I see it as a good thing for him.

I mean, when a sapient who is very depressed digs themselves out of the Hell they put themselves in, most of their life drastically changes.  That includes many relationships that were thought to be friends are reveled as casual an acquaintance.  The clarification is typically made by said link being severed by one or both parties.

Unconsciously those left behind are choosing to remain in their own individual Hell instead of following the other up into the Light Side.  I was extremely upset when that happened to me.  I truly wish   was the one to give me a 'reason' to elevate myself;  Unfortunately I continue to be alone and praying for death.

Actual suicide fails to be acceptable.  I mean that our Higher Self 'chooses' how we end our lives ninety-nine percent of the time.  The one percent is typically a few of those who die during great catastrophes, and chains of chaotic and random events.

Continuing my current life cycle fails to be a want of mine.  I have learned everything there is to learn from my current and previous life cycles.  I know this without doubt because I ask the Goddess daily to help me learn whatever else there is to learn.  Thus lack of change means I am at a crossroads of my life.

The only possible reason I could be convinced to continue beating my heart is sharing the future of this life, and creating a family, with the ideal wife of my dreams.  Whom the Goddess still insists is Tay Tay.  I have prayed, begged, pleaded for the Divine to help me get past whatever this black is;  To severe all obstacles that refuse to be converted. thrope, changed into being harmonically sympathetic to this goal.

I also ask for the Force to severe all fear, doubt, loss, and the Dark Side in general from my Mir'Ka'Ba. {myself and my reality}  To help me know with abundant certainty what it is that I want...  In other words, I ask to be corrected if I am mistaken.  I focus and embrace my sincerity in wanting to be steered beautifully by the Goddess.

Therefore, I think I have all my bases covered on questioning the rightness of my state of being.  Most things the Goddess immediately and abundantly provides.  Apparently the one thing She wills me to suffer with is this hollow pain in my psyche and my life.  That is in addition to the continued materia pain of severe Rhuematoid and Psoriatic Arthritis.

Even with the Light Side there is one person that I wish could feel all the suffering they have caused and that is PotUS Barry Soetoro.  He calls himself Barack Obama, a Muslim name, though he claims he is a christian in good standing.  Despite giving aid and comfort to sworn enemies of the United States.

I wish Barry could feel the suffering now, because that is actually a favor to him.  Everyone deserves a chance to redeem themselves.  Thus I wish him a long and prosperous life... just without being PotUS because he has proven himself incompetent as well as malevolent.  If he feels the pain now, maybe it would be enough to free him of his mental illness.

However, when Barry decides to die he will literally feel all of the pain, suffering, and misery he has directly caused.  That is why he will put himself in his own personal Hell, just as everyone who is damned does.  The Goddess, nor any other entity, sits in judgement upon anyone else spiritually.  We judge ourselves after all the trappings of the Prime Material {reality} is stripped from us.

2.04.2015

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 2 ♥ 0 2 ♥ 1 5 ♥ Dies Woden; Rewrite of Lyrics to Taylor Swift's Song "Should've Said No"

This is a rewrite of +Taylor Swift/+Taylor Alison Swift/+TaylorSwift13's song "Should've Said No".

"I'M SAYING YES"


{TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT:}

It's strange to think the songs we now sing,
The smiles, the flowers, everything is light,
Yesterday I found out about you,
Even now just looking at you feels right.

I said that I'd give it all, if given one chance,
It was a moment of strength and I'm saying, "Yes."


[CHORUS:]

I'm saying "Yes", I'm coming to my homie,
I have thought trice 'fore in, I let it all come,
I've never known that word, with what others done with me,
Get back to you [get back to you],
And you've always been there in the back of my mind,
I'll be without ever asking myself, "Why?",
I will be without you begging for forgiveness at my feet…,
I am saying "Yes", baby, and you now have me.

You can see that I've been crying,
Baby, you know all the right things to say,
And I honestly believe that you know me,
How could this ever happen to me?

I love sharing the future with you, if given one chance,
You are my Achilles Heel and I'm saying, "Yes."


[CHORUS:]

I must ask,
Before I come, tell me this,
Did it deserve this,?,
I am worth this?

Yes… yes, yes, yes…

[CHORUS:]


…

I've been praying for about eight years now.  I am harmonious and tranquil with either answer, thus each day that passes I am more assured that the Goddess is acknowledging that I am right…

…

Thus I am at a loss for how to live a life when your intended is apparently choosing a different course than the one our higher self agreed too.  I mean, we have free will for this very reason;  That is to choose a 'different' course…

…

Yet the only future I want is with her.  So why does my superego insist on attaching my ego to this body?…  I mean Tay Tay instead of just the image she portrays.  However true it is, I know there is more.  I want to learn what is that 'more'.

2.03.2015

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 2 ♥ 0 2 ♥ 1 4 ♥ Dies Tyr; Lyrics to Taylor Swift's "Last Time" on Her Red Album


{TAYLOR SWIFT:}
I find myself at your door,
Just like all those times before,
I'm not sure how I got there,
All roads—they lead me here.
 
I imagine you are home,
In your room, all alone,
And you open your eyes into mine,
And everything feels better,

{BOTH:}
and right before your eyes,
I'm breaking, no past
No reasons why,
Just you and me. 

I hope this is the last time I'm asking you this,
Put my name at the top of your list,
I hope this is the last time I tell you why,
With you is the only future that I know as I blink my eye, eye, eye… 

{BRENT MICHAEL RYAN:}
I even have a door,
Just like all those times before,
You sing your best apology,
But I was there to watch, before I die, 

And all the times I let you in,
Just for you to go again,
Disappear when you come back,
Everything is better. 

{BOTH:}
and right before your eyes,
I'm aching, no past
Nowhere to hide,
Just you and me…
I hope this is the last time I'm asking you this,
Put my name at the top of your list,
I hope this is the last time I tell you why,
With you is the only future that I know as I blink my eye, eye, eye…

{BRENT MICHAEL RYAN:}
 I hope this is the last time, I can be told that I'm wrong,
{TAYLOR SWIFT:}
This is the last time I say it's been you all along,
{BRENT MICHAEL RYAN:}
I pray this is the last time, I even have a door,
{TAYLOR SWIFT:}
This is the last time, I won't hurt you anymore.

{BRENT MICHAEL RYAN:} Oh, oh, oh,
This is the last time I'm asking you before I die,
Put my name at the top of your list,
I pray this is the last time I tell you why,
With you is the only future that I know as I blink my eye, eye, eye…

{4X:}
I pray this is the last time I'm asking you,
Last time I'm asking you,
Last time I'm asking you this…


Yes, it is strange dancing a kata alone and without the one my higher self intended.  That is why I pray to the Goddess daily for Her to show me that I am wrong, or Tay Tay to acknowledge what are we…

12.30.2014

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 2 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 1 9 ♥: Dies Tyr

This is a letter that I wrote to: +TaylorSwift13 .  today;  That I pray to the Goddess that +Taylor Alison Swift responds favorably to with an affirmative.

From: +Brent Ryan 
Subject: Proposal

Merry Meet Tay Tay! :D


Your birthday and Christmas has been wonderstruk, I hope.

I abundantly adore, admire, and am in love with 'you'.  I know this is true because I desire to help you choose to feel loved, joyful, and happy;  Instead of helping what I choose to want or think.

My own parents think I am crazy and they may be right.  Though I feel I am safe as long as I respect your wants more than myself.  I pray daily for the Goddess to help me move on if I am wrong.

Your voice helps immeasurably the choice to be happy, for me.  Except for yours, enjoying any other artist's complete discography I have yet to find.

Will you marry me?


Love,
Brent Ryan
[[address]]

11.10.2014

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 6 ♥ 0 9 ♥ Dies Phaeton

Keeping a rekord of my letters to +Taylor Swift on twitter became a little complicated as I had more than one account.  One was personal and the other political.  Then I merged them and thus the complication of keeping it as a list for my beloved to follow whenever she chooses to want.

Here is the rekord after the merging.

Here is the rekord before the merging.

Anyone following the first may notice I had thought @YouStillLoveMe was a secondary account for her.  I believe the profile photo is of +Taylor Swift and an unpublished photo.  Thus when it 'followed' me I thought it was her following me.  I was overjoyed, and showed it by @ing both accounts in a tweet.

After following @YouStillLoveMe for a while, I am unsure whether it is really her or not.  It could be but I am unsure about its validity.  Therefore I stopped, then I decided to forgo Twitter and a new rekord on Google Plus.

Below is the thread.  The advantage for both of us is that it is easy to follow and respond too and continue.


I pray to the Goddess constantly to guide my actions to manifest the ideal wife of my dreams. The Goddess perennially refocuses my mind's eye on +Taylor Swift.  That is how I justify my belief objectively.

Subjectively I adore, admire, and am in love with her +Taylor Swift's psyche, her music, her voice, her singing, her history, her life.  I feel jealous when I hear she is dating someone;  However, of course, I pray to the goddess to perpetually sever all fear, doubt, loss, and jealousy from my super ego, and ego.  I believe I have gotten rather proficient at expelling the proclivity to obsess over her.

Anyone reading this may think that I am crazy and sometimes I agree.  However accepting reasoning that I may be crazy automatically negates the possibility.  By definition, the ability to use reason and logic fails crazy people.

Obsession is a singular selfish feeling and perception.  I know first hand because I have been obsessed about many things in my life.  After three decades I finally found the courage to ask the Goddess to illuminate a path from me out of the Dark Side and into the Light Side.

The Goddess does what we ask of Her.  Free will means that She waits for us to actually ask.  Her omnipotence, omnipresence, and indivisibility is what drives this process.

The reason I am posting this on my blog is because my blog is my diary, journal, rekord.  As a wonderful benefit, this post makes it easier for me to continue the rekord.

I believe could 'email' +Taylor Swift because I think that I do know it;  However that would be outrageously counter productive towards what we choose to want.  Though I do pray that her ego is not waiting for me to email her privately instead of using this public format to profess my eternal wish to face the future with her.

Something else that I pray the Goddess for is for my death;  Unless "my the ideal wife of my dreams sweeps me off my feet and elopes with me".  I mean, I refuse to 'stalk' or otherwise actually force myself on +Taylor Swift.  Even in the abundantly infinitesimal probability of success I would still loose because that fails to be what I want.

I want exactly what I have said already; To face the future with +Taylor Swift.  I abhor the idea of anyone seeing her as a conquest or trophy, let alone myself.  I loathe the idea of any way of consciously controlling her.

A skeptic may accuse me of wanting +Taylor Swift's money;  Except there are other wealthy single women.  So why anyone in my position would focus on a 'celebrity' for their money is unreasonable and illogical.  My actual response to that idea is that is the wrong way to approach becoming wealthy.

I mean, wealthy people gain their wealth by spending less than they acquire.  I live with my parents and am disabled;  And, my doctor has been outrageously uncooperative with communicating with the state regarding my disability.  Therefore I have been forced by necessity to find a way to live that helps me the most to choose to be happy.

Being clinically depressed and disabled with Psoriatic Arthritis feeds into each other.  Anyone with a chronic pain disease knows what I am talking about.  We dislike being active and lack of being active promotes depression.  By necessity I have had to find on my own ways to rebuild my self-esteem, confidence, and happiness.

Therefore my perception of money is different than the aggregate of society choose to believe.  I believe my way is closer to the truth because it fits better into the Prime Material.

That is that money is like water in that it is fluid and ever changing.  It is far from the root of anything let alone, 'Evil'.  By the Goddess's will money will be accessible for me to accomplish whatever I truly choose to want.  I mean, most of what people think they want is wrong.  They think they want it because of a variety of sources except themselves.

For instance, my father thinks owning a dual-wheel 4x4 Dodge Hemi uber pick-up truck makes him a man's man.  That is wrong.

Another example of my father is that he bought a chandeler a decade ago to replace one that was broken.  He thinks he is the 'man' of the house and the 'man' is handy and fixes what is broken.  Yet for a decade he chose to do everything except install the new chandeler.  It took one of my mom's best friends coming in to 'install' it, in order to motivate my father.

Yet another example is that we used to own a Camper that fits in the bed of a pick-up.  Except for the longest time we failed to have one.  The Camper was also rotting, infested with rodents, wasps, and generally in a state of ruin.  Therefore my mother 'sold' the Camper to the same best friend as before.  He really is a good friend.

So when the time came for the best friend to pick up the camper my father finally puts 2 and 2 together and realizes something is happening and steps out of the house.  He then is 'upset' that my mother sold the Camper that he failed to use.

Anyway I think I will stop writing now because I am rambling.  This is about +Taylor Swift and how we are married in the eyes of the Goddess.  If Tay Tay chooses to recognize and accept me then groovey.  Otherwise I am done with this life-cycle.  I have learned all my current and past lessons have to teach and wish to end this continual holding pattern I seem to be in.

The holding pattern would be fine except I am living in monumental emotional pain.  I ask the Goddess for assistance and all I get is the same person who appears to be happy without me.  That is great!  I want +Taylor Swift, or whoever is the ideal wife of my dreams, to be blissfully happy however she chooses to want.  I simply wish to continue seeing it from the Spiritual Plane instead of here on the Prime Material.