1 3 ❤ 0 0 ❤ 0 2 ❤ 0 9 ❤ 0 4 ❤ Dies Ma: Personal Journal

Stardate 13.00.02.09.04; 20:13

I am nearing the end of this cycle of my life.  I used to be so depressed that I was suicidal.  I still am depressed somewhat but I have healed to abundantly healthy my self-esteem/image.  I have lost a lot of weight and am loosing more.  I love who I am now and I cherish my past even as I am most adamant to never repeat any cycle from this life ever again.

Thus I have gun to think about spiritual plane and past lives.  I have made a new rule for myself with my ego.  I pray to the Goddess that she absolutely and abundantly helps me manifest this rule to my satisfaction... well, really to help me manifest anything that I want enough to pray to Her for.  I have already written out my prayer for the soul mate that I is an Ideal Wife of my dreams for me.  As I am the Ideal Husband of her dreams.

The new rule is to absolutely and abundantly remember any and all other lifecycles that I have lived. I think, remembering present or future ones would be too confusing.  I further limit these memories to be equalized all emotions both Light and Dark Side of the Force.  I want to remember them but I must ensure that my focus is on the lifecycle I am living.

I have had a mental conversation with a voice in my head that I perceive as +Mrs. Taylor Alison Swift Ryan/+Taylor Alison Swift .  As always I refuse to physically do anything based on this conversation without actual physical verification that it was true.  Thus I maintain my sanity, and protect myself from biological and energy based entities of the #Dark #Side.

Yes I am a Master of the Jedi {Reverend};  However, I have started my own order that is very much based on Hermetic, Edgar Cayce, Jesus, Buddhism, and Judaism.  The reason I keep the name is because the movies describes the Force exceptionally well, though George Lucas's mind failed to comprehend a couple key pieces of information I believe spirits relayed to him about that reality.

It is Father's Day this weekend.

We went to +The Home Depot in Richland, Wa today and got an uber  +DeWalt Factory Service's water pressure washer.  The water pressure is above 3k PSI.  That means it could cut through wood if I let the spray get too close.  I just need to blast the surface on the top of the pergola of our patio.

My parents failed to get an Air Paint Sprayer to help me paint the rest of the Pergola after priming it.  I suppose this is to be expected.  Randy perpetually fails to grasp the concept of why to get a tool unless he himself experiences the want of it.

For instance, while Randy was over 350 lbs of weight he failed to ever mow the lawn.  I did it.  My mom did most of the racking but I helped and we both wanted to get a grass catcher to hook up to the back of our riding lawn mower.

However, because Randy failed to ever mow the lawn, he also failed to grasp advantage of having a grass catcher.  Years later, now that he has actually gotten to repeatedly mow the lawn he understands and fully feels the want of having a grass catcher... or paying someone to mow the lawn for him.  Which is the easy and more expensive way out.  My father is without any concept of the money he spends, he acts like it grows on trees.

Thankfully I am a momma's boy.  Mary is more emotionally and spiritually attuned to her Higher Self/Soul, as am I.  She fully comprehends and agrees with me with the want and advantage of having both a grass catcher and a Air Paint Sprayer.

Ma is also the one who does the bills, which undoubted leads to my Pa, Randy failing to understand the ramifications of the monetary cost with what he wants.

I adore, admire, and love my Pa though I believe Randy is nearing the end of his own lifecycle and is just refusing to grow any further.  I am really unable to understand this, but having a asshat facet to affix to the top of his head {emotionally} has long been his way since he was a small child; according to reports from himself and his mother, grandma.

So without anything to do with my depression, is my desire to die.  I know that I am at the end of my own lifecycle.  It has been and still is excruciatingly painful physically and mentally.  Depression is just that, emotional pain from psychic trauma.  The trauma is without anything to do with Randy, though I have allowed his asshat tendencies to help exacerbate my Depression further.

We control the effect words, actions, and other people have on us.  Whether something is offensive or not, is for the Self to decide.

Instead of thinking or feeling, the Goddess has told me repeatedly for sevenish years now that +Taylor Alison Swift is a soulmate with me, that her higher self chose to be the Ideal Wife of my dreams, as I am the Ideal Husband of her dreams.  Thus the only reason my life has failed to move from this Purgatory my lifecycle is in, is because Tay Tay's ego has yet to choose to accept what her superego wants to do.

Of course, this may sound insane to most.  I dislike people choosing that but it is beyond my control.  Therefore, I have severed myself from caring what others think about me.  I only care what my loved ones think of me, including in paramount myself.

I am also without any control over what any facet of my Ideal Wife's self chooses, let alone what her Ego chooses.  Therefore I wish to, and pray for the Goddess to absolutely and abundantly control, direct, guide, help, inspire, manipulate, and motivate myself to die tonight painlessly, quickly, and quietly while I sleep.  That is the one thing I can control.

Upon further inquiry and discovery during this past couple years, the Goddess repeatedly informs me that Tay Tay is the Ideal Wife of my dreams.  Her ego has refused to choose to accept what her SuperEgo wants, or to refuse it.  That is her Goddess given right of course.  We all have Free Will up until the point the present has become the past.  Even then, daydreaming a different course, can have drastic impact upon a lifecycle.

I can certainly understand hesitation but this is way beyond procrastination.  Over seven years of waiting and the Ideal Wife of my dreams still has yet to choose is beyond even my willingness to wait.  I am done with waiting and thus I beg/Pray for the Goddess to abundantly help me end this lifecycle.

As I said the Goddess says the Ideal Wife of my Dreams is Tay Tay.  It makes since why her ego is so torn on what to do.  Even that understanding has limits.  Seven is a good number and I am done.  I simply live with too much physical and emotional pain to wait in Purgatory for the chance my life could resume at any moment.

This is where inaction is still an action.  Thus the Ego of the Ideal Wife of my dreams has indirectly chosen to refuse to follow the volition of her SuperEgo.

As I close this entry out, I believe that I am astonished at how well I have written this.  I have yet to read them but I sense my earlier entries may have been from a more emotional filled point of view.  That lowers brain waives and reduces the intelligence in use from our Brain is capable of.

So if I finally get what I want tonight.  My mother will be the one most traumatized.  She may come here to this blog her Higher Self sees it as a good thing to do.  Thus I also pray that She understands my death is like any other normal or accidental death, instead of a suicide.  That is my Higher Self chose this as an OUT.

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 3 ♥ 1 3; Dies Materia

Previous posts on this day of Saturn have explained my peculiar choice of words to symbolize the day.  Therefore, I will stop repeating myself on future Days that we honor Saturn.

One interesting convergence is that of all the planet's Saturn is the only one with a super-duper-hurrican at the planet's north pole.  The funnel wall is a sheer cliff face as deep as the Grand Canyon on Terra.  The funnel encircles an area larger than Texas.  The interesting part is that our ancestors chose to honor Saturn, instead of say Jupiter with it's big red eye.

Terra has always been our planet's name.  Just as Sol has been our sun's name.  The word 'earth' is the soil that animals walk on and plants grow in. As such it exists on every planet the Goddess has created.  I refuse to limit myself to society's errors.

My parents went to camp in Idaho on their property this weekend.  I chose to stay home.  Combined they are gone a total of two days.  Two days traveling there and back, and one full day there.

A positive thinking guru recently said to me that I should open myself to receive the ideal wives of my dreams as we form the ideal marriage of 'our' dreams.  She meant that I should put myself in new and maybe uncomfortable situations where I may meet at least my first wife.

My first wife is Taylor Alison Swift, but realizing that before it happens is only for my self eateem and self worth.

I am worthy and deserve to be the dream ideal husband of the marriage and ideal wives of my dreams, as I am.

I deserve and am worthy to receive Tay Tay's reciprocating adoration, admiration, and being in love with me.

Empowering those thoughts with emotions of intent, love, joy, happiness, and gratitude is a cardinal element of ghe process of manifestation.

So all week long I severed all beliefs, thoughts, and emotions regarding me attending the camping trip.  I prayed and asked the Goddess to control, direct, help, inspire, manipulate, and/or motivate me towards whatever option will help me the most with manifesting my marriage or just the choice to be happy.  In addition I coupled that request with what will help my mother the most with her choice to be happy.

Obviously, the Goddess led me to stay.  I am abundantly without any regret ot doubt over the decision.  However, I do pray that my mother chose to be happy.

I have een using a new technique with writing… well until I get a tablet and can do it digitally.  I use a vat board and color dry erase markers.  Then I take a picture with my iPhone of my outline before I erase it and brainstorm about another part of my novel.  I believe this has helped me immeasurably with consistency and knowing what to write.

I absolutely feel as if I am on the verge of a great cliff.  In front of me is my path and it has a lot if changes.

Of course I refuse to flap my wings and will die unless the Goddess helps me manifest myself as the dream ideal husband of the marriage of our dreams.

This may seem melodramatic but I assure you that I am void any desire of any future that sees me alone in either the beginning, middle, or end.

Suicide is an action and requires emotion.  Rather I am abundantly apathetic outside of being the dream ideal husband of the ideal marrage and ideal wives of my dreams.  Sucide fails to be an option; rather my heart will simply stop beating.

Or maybe some other illness or disease will kill me quickly, quietly, and painlessly while I sleep.  This I do pray daily for.

I know that death is a lie.  Instead it is a change of state.  Disanimus overcomes my mortal coil after my Force leaves my corporeal shell.

I have lived many lifetimes and I will live many more;  As all spirits are eternal everlasting as the Goddess wills.

So instead of actual death, I am asking for this life cycle to renew and begin anew.

Thank you for sharing your Force.  May the Goddess bless you.

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 3 ♥ 0 1; Dies Woden

Wednesday honors Odin or The God: Woden that being what Germanic tribes called God.  All religions seem to be monothiestic even if the call a few lesser beings as 'a god'.  They still recognize they are neith omnipotent, omnipresent, or omnipotent such as God. {Woden}

I hage thought amostly about my life I share with Tay Tay and Mindfullness. For others the answer is always different if they are on the right and true path that is for them.  We each have a diffferent and unique path that we chose to follow before even conception.

The Super Ego, or Higher Self of even abortions, stillborns, miscarriages, et cetera chose their path.  Any reason or logic behind that is beyond me but it also should be beyond my Ego while I am alive.  Our free-will lets us choose a different branch if we choose to have want of it.

I use Freudian psychological terms because it fits wyat I feel and know is true.  Which is admittedly little, so maybe there is a better analogical metaphor out there that I have not found.

Choosing a different branch requires a varying degree of will.  The amount of will if want is relatable to how drastic the change is.  The sign that there is enough will present, is the feeling of certainty of manifesting the change of want.

We can build and strengthen our will as any muscle with purposeful mindfullness.  Mindfullness is concentrating on every detail while living an event or situation.  For instance brushing teeth, eating a bowl of cereal, taking a shower, et cetera.  

The feeling if cetainty comes while envisioning the life of want.  For instance, I invision going to bed and sleeping in the same bed as Tay Tay, eating breakfast with her, cooking food for her, playing World of Warcraft with her, et cetera.  The point is to imagine or daydream multiple details while living the event or situation;  Increasing amounts of detail is of want.

What is imagined as 'is';  is irrelevant,  what is relevant is imagining solutions to whatever problems or obstacles that are perceived.  Instead of complaining about how television or computers have ruined something, imagine how to change.

Most people seem to operate on autopilot.  The older they get the more rigid their conditioning becomes.  However, there is always hope for anyone regardless if how difficult they choose to be.  Simply pray for the Goddess to help illuminate their path.

Attempting to control others is wrong and a sign of mental illness.  It always fails regardless of number of attempts and who is attempting to exert control.

This is the primary reason statism/communism fails.  It is also why it is an entire political catagory full of people with verying degrees of mental illness. The disease is very much contagious.  It prays on the ignorant, young, and weak of mind.

This is why statiist politicians destroy education systems, seek to 'euthanize' the elderly, extensively use propoganda to brainwash/condition their supporters.

However now I have gotten off topic.

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 0 ♥ 1 5; Dies Materia

Romans named it the Day of Saturn, that eventually became 'Saturday' that we know today. I prefer the original Middle English name of Sunnanafen. That is their words for 'Sun' & 'Eve' put together.  I seem to favor earlier definitions because they seem truly authentic.

Dissimilar is my desire for authenticity, than that of the P.o.t.U.S. Barry Soetoro's statist ideology.  For them authenticity as the ultimate verity for any relation.  Of this, I forcibly reject the very preposition.  I favor literary authenticity for the sake of other timelines visiting us.

I have an innate gift for extreme apathy in most any given situation.  To help play against that, I have thought a lot on what I really 'want' and the affect on the Prime Material I wish to have.  Words and language are a tool that we use so that other people can more easily understand us.

Sine qua no, maintaining myriad languages and a multitude of dialects for those each language is inefficacious. I am sure the Arabic, Castilian, Farsi, French, Japanese, Mandarin, Peruvian, Sanskrit et cetera native speakers wish their cultural language was the one most spoken throughout the world but that fails to be a reality.

Even English fails to really be 'American', as the language is a cameleon.  Sine qua no, it's primary characteristic is how easily it absorbs useful or popular words from other languages.

As an example, Mexicans may think their language is becoming dominant, however veritably their language is disintegrating before their very eyes as English dissects and absorbs it piece by piece.  Neither language ends as it was when this process began.  However, this is how Gaelic 'became' the progenitor to the 'English' language, it absorbs other ancient languages that were spoken at the time like Latin, Roman, Greek, French, and Teuton.

This is part of why English is considered the most difficult language to learn to speak fluently.  The preposition is that English words easily have different pronunciations;  The spellings only serve as a loose guide to how to pronounce the word.  This is why English dictionaries often list the Kenyon-Knott spelling for that word to help users pronounce the word accurately.

I use the term Kenyon-Knott instead of 'IPA' for the same reason I refuse to call any planet a 'dwarf' planet just because a few mentally ill statist perverted ancient egg farts decided to try to force everyone to agree with them.  I.P.A. stands for International Phonetic Alphabet.

However, my point is that I feel there is paramount importance in using the language most people know, and using words as accurately as possible.  Everyone makes mistakes and I am far from advocating spelling and grammar flame wars over the internet.  However, I do think the goal should be to use correct spelling and grammar so that others will understand what you are saying.

For those who refuse to care what others think?  Then why bother speaking at all?  It is a waste of breath, energy, and time.

I rewrote a few of Taylor Alison Swift's first songs she wrote here.  The song's tune is the same but the lyrics are slightly switched from my perspective and what I feel for her;  Who I feel the Goddess is telling me is the dream ideal wife for me, that I have been cursing for.

"Hey Tay Tay"

• Hey Tay Tay,
  I know looks are deceiving,
  But I know I see the light in you,
  And as we walk,
  We are talking ~
  I without half half the things I want to say.
• Of all the men tossing rocks at your window,
  I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold,
• Hey Taylor,
  Babe, you may have me believing,
  There may have always been waiting,
  To end this loneliness,
  The lie is that I have to be alone.
  
  [Chorus]
• 'Cause I am wickedly shameless, if you look like an angel,
  I am nefariously shameless, if I wanna kiss you in the rain,
  I advance to feel this magik, I have innately felt since I met you,
  I am soullessly shameless, if there is only you,
  Mmm, I villainously help myself.
• Hey Taylor,
  I keep back from you this feeling,
  So I've got some things to say to you, ha,
  I seen it all ~
  Or so I thought ~
  To shine the way you do, sui generis are you
• The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name ~
  You are lucky enough to be deviant, beautiful, wonderful ~
  So perpetually refuse to change
• Hey Ryanswift,
  People are never really leaving,
  I think you and I are among the few to know ourself.
  [/Chorus]
• They're dimming the sky lights,
  Together we are absolute and felicitous,
  Be my knight and sweep me off my feet tonight?
• I'm waiting alone now, so come on and come out,
  And pull me near to shine, shine, shine.
• Hey Tay Tay,
  There are more than fifty two reasons,
  Why I am the one you choose,
  All those other men ~
  Well, they're beautiful,
  Have you wrote an incidental song from them?
  
  {Chorus}
• 'Cause I am rapturously shameless, if you look like an angel,
  I am exuberantly shameless, if I wanna kiss you in the rain,
  I recover to feel this magik, I have innately felt since I met you,
  I am contently shameless, if there is only you,
  Mmm, I jovially help myself.
• ...if you look like an angel,
  Jovially shameless, if I wanna kiss you in the rain,
  I advance to feel this magik, I have innately felt since I met you,
  Blissfully shameless, if there is only you,
  Mmm, with delight I help myself.
• Myself,
  Rapturously help myself,
  Happiness, I choose for myself.

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 0 ♥ 1 3: Dies Luna

While I was drifting off to sleep last night I realized that if there is a tomorrow.  I may want to articulate more precisely how I want my life to change.  In what way I want my life to be different.

First off I want to create life and raise it with Tay Tay.  I imagine us having over thirteen children but that will take a couple decades to accomplish, I believe.  I say that because I suspect she will want to continue with her music career as we do this;  And, I want to help her do that.

I have been enthralled with the idea of a polyamorous union.  For that to happen, Tay Tay will be the one to express a desire to date another woman with me.  Then if our higher selves have agreed to merging our future together, then it will be so.

However, I am a virgin carnally and romantically speaking.  Sine qua non I understand I may simply be naive and not know that which I am contemplating.  Though, that is why I daily ask the Goddess to control, direct, help, inspire, manipulate, and motivate me to manifest my thoughts and actions towards what will help me the most to choose to be happy.  The off chance that I am wrong simply means Tay Tay will refuse to express such desire.

I love playing video games and reading novels.  The life I dream of is of Tay Tay and I playing board, role-playing, and online video games together as a family.  And playing video games with our children as they grow older.  In addition to playing more simple games with them as well, when they are younger.

Tay Tay helping me advance, and grow our in-game guild is something I want as well.  I imagine she will have a want to stick with a pseudonym or just Tay without explaining to other people in the guild that may just be acquaintances of sorts.

Tay and I will be playing Warcraft, Star Wars: The Old Republic, and Elder Scrolls Online together towards the same wants.  I mean, that is what we want to do versus anyone controlling anyone else.  It's far from all encompassing either.  I am still working on incorporating this into my daydreaming.

Playing Dragon Age, Mass Effect, as well as Pillars of Eternity will be full of awe.  There are and will be other games we enjoy.  Especially the ones that allow cooperative play, such as Mass Effect two and three.

I slept half the day away but I was able to get seven more Secrets of the Empire for my main character's legendary cape quest.  I have a total of seventeen and want three more.  I already have more than enough Trillium Bars in the bank waiting to be used as a quest turn-in.

A couple super-villains in various raids because of various reasons, the only raid I had not entered at all is The Underhold ^{{formerly RageFire Chasm}}.

This has turned out rather more than I expected and it already is past midnight for me.  So I will head to bed after publishing this onto my blog.  I will think about how to further articulate other precise descriptions of what I how I want my life to be, instead of how it is.  My mind is fully present on how it is, and that may be part of the problem...

Goddess, please control, direct, help, inspire, manipulate, and motivate me to abundantly and absolutely sever and remove my mind, my psyche, from the present.  The primary objective of this is to manifest myself onto a life I do want.  I have said this before in a different way but words really do matter.  They have more power than anyone can fathom, including myself.  Our thoughts, emotions, actions, and words shape our materia.



Domo arigato gozaimasu for sharing thy time and the Force.  May the Goddess bless you and the Force continue to be with you.

13♥00♥01♥09♥01: Dies Materia

I feel better than I was feeling in my last post.  That is mostly from positive thinking.  I have started playing World of Warcraft with my parents again.  {edit} Now as I lay me down to sleep… oh! Want to curse to night as I mention later here.  I have been having sympathetic jet lag with Taylor Alison Swift.{/edit}

I am learning to forgive and love my materia for how it plays.  I want a specific future more than I want to continue this life.  However, I believe that loving and accepting myself will fuel that change.

All good scenarios enter life because change occured before hand, removing what was sine qua no to make room.  For this I truly must curse daily for the Goddess to help me with, because my vantage point is flawed and Hers is indomitable, omnipotent, and omnipresent.

Maintain openness to the Goddess's inspiration a perpetual effort.  That is whenever I recognize feeling extreme emotion, I calm myself and think positive thoughts.

I meditate exchanging aetheral Force with my mother, persisting an inch separation from our alternatng hands while we sit upright.

Almost constantly, I listen to Solfeggio Harmonics through a Brain Wave iPhone app.  I use it to help me sleep, creativity, Positive Thoughts mostly.  NonetheIess, just paid for the app with their entire discograph of 30 Binaural frequencies.

The Goddess helps me be consistent with this journal.  I seemed silly at first and it is not easy to be consistent.  However, it thinks it helps me recognize what I want to continue and grow in my life, as well as things I can remove.  It helps me recognize steps I want to take go get where I want to go;  Such as, making time to genuflect and curse to the Goddess when I wake up and go to bed.  That helps me increase my openness to Divine guidance.

Even asking the Goddess to help with wanting to play video games.  Of course I thought of why.  I want to play online video games with Tay Tay and our children;  So now I play with my parents, and that is an example of making room for her.  It could be anyone, and I focus as if it could be;  However, the Goddess seems insistent that it is her.

Stalking is an absolutely selfish thing and I have wrote about this before.  Controlling myself and my own body is the only options I have, that is true with 🌒🌕🌘 {all}.

{edit}Instead I the only future I accept is a future WITH My wives and children.   Goddess keeps insisting it is Tay Tay and agree but it is counter productive to think positively about her.  Rather I think about what this future scenario means to me, how I feel in it, and how it will help my choose to be happy more easily.

I think I know of some changes to help make room in my life for my polyamorous wives and children.  That is we will have each other more than any central figure.

Maybe Tay Tay dissapproves and that is fine.  I am unsure what road leads to greater help situationally to choose to be happy.  I feel there will be one and then I will leave it up to her and just focus on doing the most I can to help her with her wants.

As it is said:  The choice of happiness is without anything to do with any Chi other than self;  Including materia 'things'.  As 🌒🌕🌘 {all} has Chi, or a soul.

As I said Today I have been experiencing sympathetic jet lag with Tay Tay.  She just finished an Asian tour for her Red album and is flying back to sweep me off my feet and elope with me. 

During that time:  I was unable to sleep except for two three or four hours, Friday night and @ 05:00 Saturday.  However, I feel remarkably pleasant even despite being very tired, and that is not normal for me.{/edit} 

I am praying to the Goddess to control, direct, inspire, help, and motivate me to make room in my life for the change I want.

13♥00♥00♥17♥12

Mayan Date: 13♥00♥00♥17♥12

Sunday: α, β, θ, δ,

Today started as a θ, but is ending as a β day.  Just am feeling that my parents are confusing themselves from feeling any love my way.  Their worrying about 'my' future if they should die.  Well, that would be a problem and a solution will present itself or it will not.  I see little productive in fretting over what 'might' be.

Better to focus on what I want and let the Goddess handle the disharmony between that and the Prime Material.

My first novel is a Steampunk Romance novel.  So I have been reading books in this genre and am loving them.  They are exactly what I want.  So I look for more.

There seemed to be a lack of any group on goodreads.com that focused on that combined genres or even the broader science fiction romance genre.  They had the categories for books but no groups.

So I created one, and a FaceBook Page to accompany it.  Tomorrow I might create a Google+ Page but will see how well I can integrate the three pages.  Probable will want to fine tune the FB+ page too.

My parents went over to a friends house to eat 'dinner' but I stayed home.  I want to start living Sunday as a holy day of rest again… just holy in a Jedi Witkhkraft way.

Admittedly, the professional stuff with the goodreads.com and FaceBook+ pages creation was more prevelant in my mind but it all contributed to me saying no.

Well… I did give them an option to show they 'actually wanted' me to be there and they refused.

I said I wanted to take a shower.  My Mother after she asked my Father, and she said they would wait if I did it now... Or once I got to a point in Goodreads that I could save and start up again on another computer later.  Which would be a literally a minute or two.

That was enough for my Father to declare it improper behavior and left.  My mom probably thought she did not have a choice but that is false.  She choose to confuse herself with archaic mesogynistic rules, instead of making a choice.  I shrugged and did my thing.

They both obviously confused themselves, failed to act intelligent & wise, and actually want my company.

I have zero control over their choices.  I can only control my own.

I choose to 'expect' them to behave like their sentient sapiens.  Times like today they let me down.

I did mess up and choose to eat a couple slices of a cheese cake;  That, is off the Ideal Protein diet.  I know that I am as flawed as anyone else.

I had a television dinner entree too.  But the ones I got are low carb… still off the diet but a lot closer.

Being on the Ideal Protein Diet is without a switch to turn it on and off.  The focus is keeping your body in "Ketosis".

That is why eggs, cheese, and meat are better because they just give you more fat to burn;  Instead of shifting your liver's chemistry out of "Ketosis".

The people who run the Ideal Protein clinic are looking to hire a new coach.  They had two quit in short succession.  I am thinking of applying.  I ask the Goddess and Her angels to control, direct, help, inspire, and motivate me to be, do, feel, and think whatever will help me manifest what I want… whatever will help me the most to choose to be happy…

What I want, what will help me the most to choose to be happy… is for my Ideal Wife {mb Taylor Alison Swift} and I to meet, get married, and begin/live our Ideal Marriage/Family.

I know that I am without any way of manifesting that besides casting spells {prayers} to the Goddess.  Writing daydremaing, and artistic fun is supposed to help too.

They idea of controlling other than the self, is a dangerous delusion.

There is a very rigid disharmony between my Prime Material and my happiness.

Thank you for sharing your Force and be well.