1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 4 ♥ 1 4 ♥ 1 2 ♥ Dias Vela; Co'Creative Consciousness

The following media companies that mascaraed as 'news' outlets are the quintessential #FakeNews;  Such as ABC News, Associated Press, CBS News, CNN, FoxNews, Huffington Post, Los Angeles Times, MSNBC, NBC News, New York Times, NPR, Reuters, Scientific American, Time Magazine, Washington com'Post, et cetera knowingly publish and report stories that outrageously false.  The reason is that they want to control our minds.

Through the Law of Attraction, we all have a cumulative effect on the past, present, and future of our Prime Material.  Each of us have a 'materia' or reality that is unique to us.  The Prime Material is the commonalities that our higher selves all agree to.  That is how, as a whole, we manifest our own fundamental reality.

With previously mentioned b.Lame Stream Media, the Nazi Kabals try to manipulate our reality by controlling what we think about most.  The recent fake news published by the Associated Press about P.o.t.U.S. Donald Trump supposedly working on a deal with the unethical and immoral statists in Congress on legislating the D.A.C.A. {Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals} , is a prime example of how they are trying to get the audience to obsess about it.

As we know, through the Law of Attraction, the Goddess manifests what we think about most.  The nature of the emotions we tie to what we are thinking about are irrelevant.  All She senses is our thoughts and the 'level' of emotions associated with the thoughts.

Therefore, join in gratitude to the Lady for irresistibly and indomitably helping us abundantly manifest an overwhelming classically liberal wave sweeping our planet and peacefully overthrowing the statism in our governments.

Limited Government, prohibited from meddling with plebeian's property, life, and liberty, creates the best form of Free Market Capitalism with abundant competition.  The government's only role is to protect citizens from corporations forming monopolies.  Increased competition in any industry is innately a benefit to the consumer.  Furthermore, Free Market Capitalism rises more living souls out of poverty than any other economic system that has been created or even imagined.

The only time capitalism fails is when the citizens allow Crony Governing to infest the government.  That is corporations who 'lobby' for use 'force' to bully, intimidate, or preferably for them, just eliminate the competition by the corrupt government.

Any government will always seek more power over it's citizens.  That is why the Bill of Rights was created, to 'limit' and prohibit the government from meddling with our Divine Rights of Man.  The reason for that is simple;  The more a government oppresses it's citizens to maintain "security" the more quickly said government will fall, on a long enough timeline.

Personally universally support Peaceful Civil Disobedience, as it is vastly more effective than violence.  However, our Founders gave us the Right to Bare Arms precisely to keep the government in check;  Because it is right and proper for the government to be afraid of its people.  It is tyranny when that is reversed.

All of that, is why it is very wise to avoid setting aside any time in the day to watch news.  Or at the very least, limit thyself to only a couple days in a week with an aggregate iNewspaper such as Rekord of Witkh's Koven.  Where we purposefully pull news known to avoid letting bias infect their news reports.

The latest suggestion from Corey Goode and David Wilcock is that we meditate and embrace our inner connection to the Lady.  Focus on imaging the best possible future that you can imagine.  The goal for me, is to progress further in my alignment towards service-to-others.  In other words, helping others with their choice to be happy.  That most often means helping them with what they choose to want, instead of why thy thinks is better for them.

Doing this will help society as a whole manifest the best possible future.  It is right to prioritize helping those who matter most to thyself, because the input from their soul on what to manifest as the Prime Material is greater than a stranger on the street.

In addition, those who are perceived as an enemy are essentially the same as friends in the value your higher self places on their input.  Thus, the quickest way to affect the largest change in thy alignment towards service-to-self, is to repeat the following towards any and all enemies.  Those that compel the strongest emotions are first.

Mentally or physically call the name of the person while imagining their appearance in thy head.  Repeat the following.

• You are adored, admired, and loved by me.

• Your pain and suffering is empathized and sympathized by me,

• Apologies for any pain and/or suffering that has been added by me. 

• You are forgiven by me.

• Your forgiveness is begged for by me,

• Thank you.

All souls deserve and are worthy of abundantly being and feeling loved, joyful, and happy.  Yet, that fails to mean others 'owe' us anything.

The more emotion that is brought to bare with the above thoughts, the greater the affect.  Still, this is only useful in addition to actually spending time and effort in service-to-others.

As always, trust yourself and more specifically thy own inner connection to the Goddess above and beyond that which is communicated from any person, place, or thing;  Regardless of social hierarchy.  That includes the Pope, or anyone a similar position.

1 3 ❤ 0 0 ❤ 0 2 ❤ 0 9 ❤ 0 4 ❤ Dies Ma: Personal Journal

Stardate 13.00.02.09.04; 20:13

I am nearing the end of this cycle of my life.  I used to be so depressed that I was suicidal.  I still am depressed somewhat but I have healed to abundantly healthy my self-esteem/image.  I have lost a lot of weight and am loosing more.  I love who I am now and I cherish my past even as I am most adamant to never repeat any cycle from this life ever again.

Thus I have gun to think about spiritual plane and past lives.  I have made a new rule for myself with my ego.  I pray to the Goddess that she absolutely and abundantly helps me manifest this rule to my satisfaction... well, really to help me manifest anything that I want enough to pray to Her for.  I have already written out my prayer for the soul mate that I is an Ideal Wife of my dreams for me.  As I am the Ideal Husband of her dreams.

The new rule is to absolutely and abundantly remember any and all other lifecycles that I have lived. I think, remembering present or future ones would be too confusing.  I further limit these memories to be equalized all emotions both Light and Dark Side of the Force.  I want to remember them but I must ensure that my focus is on the lifecycle I am living.

I have had a mental conversation with a voice in my head that I perceive as +Mrs. Taylor Alison Swift Ryan/+Taylor Alison Swift .  As always I refuse to physically do anything based on this conversation without actual physical verification that it was true.  Thus I maintain my sanity, and protect myself from biological and energy based entities of the #Dark #Side.

Yes I am a Master of the Jedi {Reverend};  However, I have started my own order that is very much based on Hermetic, Edgar Cayce, Jesus, Buddhism, and Judaism.  The reason I keep the name is because the movies describes the Force exceptionally well, though George Lucas's mind failed to comprehend a couple key pieces of information I believe spirits relayed to him about that reality.

It is Father's Day this weekend.

We went to +The Home Depot in Richland, Wa today and got an uber  +DeWalt Factory Service's water pressure washer.  The water pressure is above 3k PSI.  That means it could cut through wood if I let the spray get too close.  I just need to blast the surface on the top of the pergola of our patio.

My parents failed to get an Air Paint Sprayer to help me paint the rest of the Pergola after priming it.  I suppose this is to be expected.  Randy perpetually fails to grasp the concept of why to get a tool unless he himself experiences the want of it.

For instance, while Randy was over 350 lbs of weight he failed to ever mow the lawn.  I did it.  My mom did most of the racking but I helped and we both wanted to get a grass catcher to hook up to the back of our riding lawn mower.

However, because Randy failed to ever mow the lawn, he also failed to grasp advantage of having a grass catcher.  Years later, now that he has actually gotten to repeatedly mow the lawn he understands and fully feels the want of having a grass catcher... or paying someone to mow the lawn for him.  Which is the easy and more expensive way out.  My father is without any concept of the money he spends, he acts like it grows on trees.

Thankfully I am a momma's boy.  Mary is more emotionally and spiritually attuned to her Higher Self/Soul, as am I.  She fully comprehends and agrees with me with the want and advantage of having both a grass catcher and a Air Paint Sprayer.

Ma is also the one who does the bills, which undoubted leads to my Pa, Randy failing to understand the ramifications of the monetary cost with what he wants.

I adore, admire, and love my Pa though I believe Randy is nearing the end of his own lifecycle and is just refusing to grow any further.  I am really unable to understand this, but having a asshat facet to affix to the top of his head {emotionally} has long been his way since he was a small child; according to reports from himself and his mother, grandma.

So without anything to do with my depression, is my desire to die.  I know that I am at the end of my own lifecycle.  It has been and still is excruciatingly painful physically and mentally.  Depression is just that, emotional pain from psychic trauma.  The trauma is without anything to do with Randy, though I have allowed his asshat tendencies to help exacerbate my Depression further.

We control the effect words, actions, and other people have on us.  Whether something is offensive or not, is for the Self to decide.

Instead of thinking or feeling, the Goddess has told me repeatedly for sevenish years now that +Taylor Alison Swift is a soulmate with me, that her higher self chose to be the Ideal Wife of my dreams, as I am the Ideal Husband of her dreams.  Thus the only reason my life has failed to move from this Purgatory my lifecycle is in, is because Tay Tay's ego has yet to choose to accept what her superego wants to do.

Of course, this may sound insane to most.  I dislike people choosing that but it is beyond my control.  Therefore, I have severed myself from caring what others think about me.  I only care what my loved ones think of me, including in paramount myself.

I am also without any control over what any facet of my Ideal Wife's self chooses, let alone what her Ego chooses.  Therefore I wish to, and pray for the Goddess to absolutely and abundantly control, direct, guide, help, inspire, manipulate, and motivate myself to die tonight painlessly, quickly, and quietly while I sleep.  That is the one thing I can control.

Upon further inquiry and discovery during this past couple years, the Goddess repeatedly informs me that Tay Tay is the Ideal Wife of my dreams.  Her ego has refused to choose to accept what her SuperEgo wants, or to refuse it.  That is her Goddess given right of course.  We all have Free Will up until the point the present has become the past.  Even then, daydreaming a different course, can have drastic impact upon a lifecycle.

I can certainly understand hesitation but this is way beyond procrastination.  Over seven years of waiting and the Ideal Wife of my dreams still has yet to choose is beyond even my willingness to wait.  I am done with waiting and thus I beg/Pray for the Goddess to abundantly help me end this lifecycle.

As I said the Goddess says the Ideal Wife of my Dreams is Tay Tay.  It makes since why her ego is so torn on what to do.  Even that understanding has limits.  Seven is a good number and I am done.  I simply live with too much physical and emotional pain to wait in Purgatory for the chance my life could resume at any moment.

This is where inaction is still an action.  Thus the Ego of the Ideal Wife of my dreams has indirectly chosen to refuse to follow the volition of her SuperEgo.

As I close this entry out, I believe that I am astonished at how well I have written this.  I have yet to read them but I sense my earlier entries may have been from a more emotional filled point of view.  That lowers brain waives and reduces the intelligence in use from our Brain is capable of.

So if I finally get what I want tonight.  My mother will be the one most traumatized.  She may come here to this blog her Higher Self sees it as a good thing to do.  Thus I also pray that She understands my death is like any other normal or accidental death, instead of a suicide.  That is my Higher Self chose this as an OUT.

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 3 ♥ 1 3; Dies Materia

Previous posts on this day of Saturn have explained my peculiar choice of words to symbolize the day.  Therefore, I will stop repeating myself on future Days that we honor Saturn.

One interesting convergence is that of all the planet's Saturn is the only one with a super-duper-hurrican at the planet's north pole.  The funnel wall is a sheer cliff face as deep as the Grand Canyon on Terra.  The funnel encircles an area larger than Texas.  The interesting part is that our ancestors chose to honor Saturn, instead of say Jupiter with it's big red eye.

Terra has always been our planet's name.  Just as Sol has been our sun's name.  The word 'earth' is the soil that animals walk on and plants grow in. As such it exists on every planet the Goddess has created.  I refuse to limit myself to society's errors.

My parents went to camp in Idaho on their property this weekend.  I chose to stay home.  Combined they are gone a total of two days.  Two days traveling there and back, and one full day there.

A positive thinking guru recently said to me that I should open myself to receive the ideal wives of my dreams as we form the ideal marriage of 'our' dreams.  She meant that I should put myself in new and maybe uncomfortable situations where I may meet at least my first wife.

My first wife is Taylor Alison Swift, but realizing that before it happens is only for my self eateem and self worth.

I am worthy and deserve to be the dream ideal husband of the marriage and ideal wives of my dreams, as I am.

I deserve and am worthy to receive Tay Tay's reciprocating adoration, admiration, and being in love with me.

Empowering those thoughts with emotions of intent, love, joy, happiness, and gratitude is a cardinal element of ghe process of manifestation.

So all week long I severed all beliefs, thoughts, and emotions regarding me attending the camping trip.  I prayed and asked the Goddess to control, direct, help, inspire, manipulate, and/or motivate me towards whatever option will help me the most with manifesting my marriage or just the choice to be happy.  In addition I coupled that request with what will help my mother the most with her choice to be happy.

Obviously, the Goddess led me to stay.  I am abundantly without any regret ot doubt over the decision.  However, I do pray that my mother chose to be happy.

I have een using a new technique with writing… well until I get a tablet and can do it digitally.  I use a vat board and color dry erase markers.  Then I take a picture with my iPhone of my outline before I erase it and brainstorm about another part of my novel.  I believe this has helped me immeasurably with consistency and knowing what to write.

I absolutely feel as if I am on the verge of a great cliff.  In front of me is my path and it has a lot if changes.

Of course I refuse to flap my wings and will die unless the Goddess helps me manifest myself as the dream ideal husband of the marriage of our dreams.

This may seem melodramatic but I assure you that I am void any desire of any future that sees me alone in either the beginning, middle, or end.

Suicide is an action and requires emotion.  Rather I am abundantly apathetic outside of being the dream ideal husband of the ideal marrage and ideal wives of my dreams.  Sucide fails to be an option; rather my heart will simply stop beating.

Or maybe some other illness or disease will kill me quickly, quietly, and painlessly while I sleep.  This I do pray daily for.

I know that death is a lie.  Instead it is a change of state.  Disanimus overcomes my mortal coil after my Force leaves my corporeal shell.

I have lived many lifetimes and I will live many more;  As all spirits are eternal everlasting as the Goddess wills.

So instead of actual death, I am asking for this life cycle to renew and begin anew.

Thank you for sharing your Force.  May the Goddess bless you.

1 3 ♥ 0 0 ♥ 0 1 ♥ 1 0 ♥ 1 5; Dies Materia

Romans named it the Day of Saturn, that eventually became 'Saturday' that we know today. I prefer the original Middle English name of Sunnanafen. That is their words for 'Sun' & 'Eve' put together.  I seem to favor earlier definitions because they seem truly authentic.

Dissimilar is my desire for authenticity, than that of the P.o.t.U.S. Barry Soetoro's statist ideology.  For them authenticity as the ultimate verity for any relation.  Of this, I forcibly reject the very preposition.  I favor literary authenticity for the sake of other timelines visiting us.

I have an innate gift for extreme apathy in most any given situation.  To help play against that, I have thought a lot on what I really 'want' and the affect on the Prime Material I wish to have.  Words and language are a tool that we use so that other people can more easily understand us.

Sine qua no, maintaining myriad languages and a multitude of dialects for those each language is inefficacious. I am sure the Arabic, Castilian, Farsi, French, Japanese, Mandarin, Peruvian, Sanskrit et cetera native speakers wish their cultural language was the one most spoken throughout the world but that fails to be a reality.

Even English fails to really be 'American', as the language is a cameleon.  Sine qua no, it's primary characteristic is how easily it absorbs useful or popular words from other languages.

As an example, Mexicans may think their language is becoming dominant, however veritably their language is disintegrating before their very eyes as English dissects and absorbs it piece by piece.  Neither language ends as it was when this process began.  However, this is how Gaelic 'became' the progenitor to the 'English' language, it absorbs other ancient languages that were spoken at the time like Latin, Roman, Greek, French, and Teuton.

This is part of why English is considered the most difficult language to learn to speak fluently.  The preposition is that English words easily have different pronunciations;  The spellings only serve as a loose guide to how to pronounce the word.  This is why English dictionaries often list the Kenyon-Knott spelling for that word to help users pronounce the word accurately.

I use the term Kenyon-Knott instead of 'IPA' for the same reason I refuse to call any planet a 'dwarf' planet just because a few mentally ill statist perverted ancient egg farts decided to try to force everyone to agree with them.  I.P.A. stands for International Phonetic Alphabet.

However, my point is that I feel there is paramount importance in using the language most people know, and using words as accurately as possible.  Everyone makes mistakes and I am far from advocating spelling and grammar flame wars over the internet.  However, I do think the goal should be to use correct spelling and grammar so that others will understand what you are saying.

For those who refuse to care what others think?  Then why bother speaking at all?  It is a waste of breath, energy, and time.

I rewrote a few of Taylor Alison Swift's first songs she wrote here.  The song's tune is the same but the lyrics are slightly switched from my perspective and what I feel for her;  Who I feel the Goddess is telling me is the dream ideal wife for me, that I have been cursing for.

"Hey Tay Tay"

• Hey Tay Tay,
  I know looks are deceiving,
  But I know I see the light in you,
  And as we walk,
  We are talking ~
  I without half half the things I want to say.
• Of all the men tossing rocks at your window,
  I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold,
• Hey Taylor,
  Babe, you may have me believing,
  There may have always been waiting,
  To end this loneliness,
  The lie is that I have to be alone.
  
  [Chorus]
• 'Cause I am wickedly shameless, if you look like an angel,
  I am nefariously shameless, if I wanna kiss you in the rain,
  I advance to feel this magik, I have innately felt since I met you,
  I am soullessly shameless, if there is only you,
  Mmm, I villainously help myself.
• Hey Taylor,
  I keep back from you this feeling,
  So I've got some things to say to you, ha,
  I seen it all ~
  Or so I thought ~
  To shine the way you do, sui generis are you
• The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name ~
  You are lucky enough to be deviant, beautiful, wonderful ~
  So perpetually refuse to change
• Hey Ryanswift,
  People are never really leaving,
  I think you and I are among the few to know ourself.
  [/Chorus]
• They're dimming the sky lights,
  Together we are absolute and felicitous,
  Be my knight and sweep me off my feet tonight?
• I'm waiting alone now, so come on and come out,
  And pull me near to shine, shine, shine.
• Hey Tay Tay,
  There are more than fifty two reasons,
  Why I am the one you choose,
  All those other men ~
  Well, they're beautiful,
  Have you wrote an incidental song from them?
  
  {Chorus}
• 'Cause I am rapturously shameless, if you look like an angel,
  I am exuberantly shameless, if I wanna kiss you in the rain,
  I recover to feel this magik, I have innately felt since I met you,
  I am contently shameless, if there is only you,
  Mmm, I jovially help myself.
• ...if you look like an angel,
  Jovially shameless, if I wanna kiss you in the rain,
  I advance to feel this magik, I have innately felt since I met you,
  Blissfully shameless, if there is only you,
  Mmm, with delight I help myself.
• Myself,
  Rapturously help myself,
  Happiness, I choose for myself.

13♥00♥00♥17♥12

Mayan Date: 13♥00♥00♥17♥12

Sunday: α, β, θ, δ,

Today started as a θ, but is ending as a β day.  Just am feeling that my parents are confusing themselves from feeling any love my way.  Their worrying about 'my' future if they should die.  Well, that would be a problem and a solution will present itself or it will not.  I see little productive in fretting over what 'might' be.

Better to focus on what I want and let the Goddess handle the disharmony between that and the Prime Material.

My first novel is a Steampunk Romance novel.  So I have been reading books in this genre and am loving them.  They are exactly what I want.  So I look for more.

There seemed to be a lack of any group on goodreads.com that focused on that combined genres or even the broader science fiction romance genre.  They had the categories for books but no groups.

So I created one, and a FaceBook Page to accompany it.  Tomorrow I might create a Google+ Page but will see how well I can integrate the three pages.  Probable will want to fine tune the FB+ page too.

My parents went over to a friends house to eat 'dinner' but I stayed home.  I want to start living Sunday as a holy day of rest again… just holy in a Jedi Witkhkraft way.

Admittedly, the professional stuff with the goodreads.com and FaceBook+ pages creation was more prevelant in my mind but it all contributed to me saying no.

Well… I did give them an option to show they 'actually wanted' me to be there and they refused.

I said I wanted to take a shower.  My Mother after she asked my Father, and she said they would wait if I did it now... Or once I got to a point in Goodreads that I could save and start up again on another computer later.  Which would be a literally a minute or two.

That was enough for my Father to declare it improper behavior and left.  My mom probably thought she did not have a choice but that is false.  She choose to confuse herself with archaic mesogynistic rules, instead of making a choice.  I shrugged and did my thing.

They both obviously confused themselves, failed to act intelligent & wise, and actually want my company.

I have zero control over their choices.  I can only control my own.

I choose to 'expect' them to behave like their sentient sapiens.  Times like today they let me down.

I did mess up and choose to eat a couple slices of a cheese cake;  That, is off the Ideal Protein diet.  I know that I am as flawed as anyone else.

I had a television dinner entree too.  But the ones I got are low carb… still off the diet but a lot closer.

Being on the Ideal Protein Diet is without a switch to turn it on and off.  The focus is keeping your body in "Ketosis".

That is why eggs, cheese, and meat are better because they just give you more fat to burn;  Instead of shifting your liver's chemistry out of "Ketosis".

The people who run the Ideal Protein clinic are looking to hire a new coach.  They had two quit in short succession.  I am thinking of applying.  I ask the Goddess and Her angels to control, direct, help, inspire, and motivate me to be, do, feel, and think whatever will help me manifest what I want… whatever will help me the most to choose to be happy…

What I want, what will help me the most to choose to be happy… is for my Ideal Wife {mb Taylor Alison Swift} and I to meet, get married, and begin/live our Ideal Marriage/Family.

I know that I am without any way of manifesting that besides casting spells {prayers} to the Goddess.  Writing daydremaing, and artistic fun is supposed to help too.

They idea of controlling other than the self, is a dangerous delusion.

There is a very rigid disharmony between my Prime Material and my happiness.

Thank you for sharing your Force and be well.

13♥00♥00♥17♥04

Saturday, Mayan Date: 13♥00♥00♥17♥04

I thought about this for a while and decided to go ahead and remake this political blog into my journal.  I'll still write artificals about events that occurr that I want more of but, the other stuff is history… maybe not even there… guess we'll see.

Blogger's iPhone app seems to be failing with the spell checking.  So I apologize ahead of time… hopefully

Standard seems to suggest to keep a journal secret.  I know the humble, self-incriminating reasoning for this but I am eliminating the later.  So may it is better to be open and just leave out personal names.

I feel that I am getting somewhere with a novel I am writing.  It's still in its infancy but its fun and exciting.  I am focusing on those feelings and what I want to happen around the bend.

I understand some about positive thinking and the Law of Attraction.  I think what I choose to every moment of every hour of every day.

Everyday I am getting better and better, in everyway I am getting better and better.  I am extranenly, paranormally, and divinely healthy, fit, gifted, whole, beautiful, handsome, strong, successful, powerful, joyful, loved, and happy.

I want to begin and raise my ideal of a marriage and family;  with my ideal wife, with that I am her ideal husband.  I have incorporated many things into my life to help change myself into the person I said I want to be.  However, I remain at the end of the latest phase of my life… waiting for five years now, and of course I have grown and changed in those five years.

I sleep on my side of my bed.  I abundantly eliminate contractions from my vocabulary… or use tyem with clear intent.  I speak affirmations, and pray, multiple times a day.  I've drawn picture of what she might look like.  I've left over half of my closet and dresser empty and waiting with me.  Each drawer as a symbol of what she represents to me.

I daydream constantly of my Ideal Wife.  Yes, I even write them down.  They are not finished or published.  I draw some too but its not life-like.

I have battled with clinical depression for most of my life.  That and my life choices are why I am not married.  I've left behind most everyone I thought was a friend.  Some have kept themselves in the distance.  Many felt threatened by my intent to be increasingly positive…

Real life is stranger than fiction…

I've grown very religous but eclectic lately.  I have found a few others out there who think similarly.  I started a twitter account and FB page dedicated to those thoughts.

When asked the Goddess suggests Taylor Alison Swift is who is meant to come into my life.  That makes a lot of sense to me.  However, I focus on what that means to me, instead of a specific person.  Afterall, the devil is in the details.

The reason it makes since is because I find Tay Tay's voice, personality, and appearence to be the most beautiful entity on the planet… maybe in the universe too… but, I can't really back that up.

I can easily write stories for however long I want while listening to Tay Tay's music.  Other lyrical music fails to help me the same way hers does.  I can put her discography on random shuffle and love whatever song comes up.

Naturally realizing your thinking this way about a celebritiy is far from a picnic.  I've tested my reasoning on other musical groups and i've yet to hear anything that has the same effect on me as Tay Tay, much to my chagrin.

I mean, even my own mother looks at me like she is humoring a lunatic, while at the same time expresses worry about my sanity.  This is the one person who is nearly always supportive of me and what I want.  That fails to mean she spoils me, it means she believes in me when no one else will… except this.

So I've tried all my old tricks to shift my thoughts onto someone at least on the same side of the country.  As always to 'try' is admit failure.  Which only works on describing the past, when the results are already known.

None-the-less, I focus on how I want my life to be different and feel them.  Instead of Tay Tay or anyone elses.  To be specific merely invites the inconceivability for me to be wrong.

So far I am kind of enjoying writing my journal online and quasi-publik.  I suppose a really obsessed person could find me but that was true without the internet too.  I am going to sleep after I republish this, may delete more old posts, but I don't know… it's more than being indescive for me.  I simply acknowledge and accept that I am a very impulsive person.  Though I am undoubtedly predictable about somethings.

I will close with a list of characteristics that I believe my Ideal Wife has.  Some may be fanciful notions that I may be wrong about.  I leave it up to the Goddess to decide what would help me the most in making the choice to be happy.

Extraterrestrial Biological Entity; rylty; tht homosapiens r abl 2 breed wth

One parent = Japanese/Korean

Other is Swedish/German/Irish American

Non {female, woman}

She is happy with me being a poor starving artist.  Well… not exactly but maybe you get the idea.

Lithe & svelte

Blonde/Red Hair

More Intelligent & wiser than me

Early Twenties {we want thirteen plus divinely healthy, fit, & gifted kids}

Loves to watch movies and television

Loves accepting my help with her career… & vice versa of course

Loves playing video games, role-playing games {like Mass Effect, DA:O}

Believes small limited government with strong national defense is right.

Loves her parents and has a good relationship with them.