I feel better than I was feeling in my last post. That is mostly from positive thinking. I have started playing World of Warcraft with my parents again.
{edit} Now as I lay me down to sleep… oh! Want to curse to night as I mention later here. I have been having sympathetic jet lag with Taylor Alison Swift.{/edit}
I am learning to forgive and love my materia for how it plays. I want a specific future more than I want to continue this life. However, I believe that loving and accepting myself will fuel that change.
All good scenarios enter life because change occured before hand, removing what was sine qua no to make room. For this I truly must curse daily for the Goddess to help me with, because my vantage point is flawed and Hers is indomitable, omnipotent, and omnipresent.
Maintain openness to the Goddess's inspiration a perpetual effort. That is whenever I recognize feeling extreme emotion, I calm myself and think positive thoughts.
I meditate exchanging aetheral Force with my mother, persisting an inch separation from our alternatng hands while we sit upright.
Almost constantly, I listen to Solfeggio Harmonics through a Brain Wave iPhone app. I use it to help me sleep, creativity, Positive Thoughts mostly. NonetheIess, just paid for the app with their entire discograph of 30 Binaural frequencies.
The Goddess helps me be consistent with this journal. I seemed silly at first and it is not easy to be consistent. However, it thinks it helps me recognize what I want to continue and grow in my life, as well as things I can remove. It helps me recognize steps I want to take go get where I want to go; Such as, making time to genuflect and curse to the Goddess when I wake up and go to bed. That helps me increase my openness to Divine guidance.
Even asking the Goddess to help with wanting to play video games. Of course I thought of why. I want to play online video games with Tay Tay and our children; So now I play with my parents, and that is an example of making room for her. It could be anyone, and I focus as if it could be; However, the Goddess seems insistent that it is her.
Stalking is an absolutely selfish thing and I have wrote about this before. Controlling myself and my own body is the only options I have, that is true with 🌒🌕🌘 {all}.
{edit}Instead I the only future I accept is a future WITH My wives and children. Goddess keeps insisting it is Tay Tay and agree but it is counter productive to think positively about her. Rather I think about what this future scenario means to me, how I feel in it, and how it will help my choose to be happy more easily.
I think I know of some changes to help make room in my life for my polyamorous wives and children. That is we will have each other more than any central figure.
Maybe Tay Tay dissapproves and that is fine. I am unsure what road leads to greater help situationally to choose to be happy. I feel there will be one and then I will leave it up to her and just focus on doing the most I can to help her with her wants.
As it is said: The choice of happiness is without anything to do with any Chi other than self; Including materia 'things'. As 🌒🌕🌘 {all} has Chi, or a soul.
As I said Today I have been experiencing sympathetic jet lag with Tay Tay. She just finished an Asian tour for her Red album and is flying back to sweep me off my feet and elope with me.
During that time: I was unable to sleep except for two three or four hours, Friday night and @ 05:00 Saturday. However, I feel remarkably pleasant even despite being very tired, and that is not normal for me.{/edit}
I am praying to the Goddess to control, direct, inspire, help, and motivate me to make room in my life for the change I want.
