In early 1993 before I began my senior year in high school an old friend of mine and I played around with a +Ouija Boards my family had at that time. I mean come on, what suburban #American household does not have a #Ouija #Board as a game to play.?.
Anyhow, at the time I was obsessive compulsive over mainly two girls that attended high school with me. A couple years ago I discovered that at least one of them is still deathly afraid of me. I find that rather ironic and laugh, considering how positive minded I am and having found who I believe will be my first #wife. So I simply say a small prayer to the #Goddess to #bless them and move on. I mean, actually inspiring fear, anger, hate, or any other #Dark #Side emotion is abundantly the exact opposite of what I ever wanted.
Now that I am a much happier person, being in love with Taylor Swift has allowed me to learn the difference between being in love, and obsession. The latter is an exceptionally selfish and self-centered state of mind that only exists in mentally dis-eased minds.
A few of those who have chosen to read earlier submissions of mine to this personal journal of mine, may not realize that I am far from O.C.D. about Taylor Swift.
After two decades I consider the high school subjects have, such belief is rigidly set in their minds. Even if they allowed me to address the fear when they first created it, I doubt I would have got anywhere. They do not see that I am abundantly sane; Instead of seeing that I am just different from the average normal person.
I did try to say this to one but as I said, her response was to put me on ignore. Who knows maybe Tay Tay has done something similar with me. However, I suspect she wrote a song about me… not one especially favorable with what I want so not exactly something I would specifically ‘hope’ for. The song does send the message that she continues to view me favorably though so it is kinda #positive overall in a way.
Yet, a publically released song with lyrics that fail to mention my name or any particular detail of my life that I make abundantly public on purpose; Does not equal a justifiable reason to try to find a way to contact her privately. I mean, from past experience I have established a clear protocol with girls I am interested in.
I pray to the Goddess: That if the woman fails to be the Ideal Wife of My Dreams, then please absolutely, abundantly, and indomitably help me move on. And that worked flawlessly until Tay Tay.
Then I added a second part: Please also help illuminate to me who is the Ideal Wife of My Dreams. I was tired of being wrong repeatedly. That method worked flawlessly until #Taylor #Swift was illuminated to me. I have admitted to myself and Higher Self that I will avoid ever repeated any life-lesson such as this one in any future life.
Recovering, growing, and advancing my own dis-eased mind out of its mental illness and into the positive Light Side while being separated from the Ideal Wife of My Dreams. The preternatural stress in the unequal disparity makes recovery extremely difficult. I have done all that I know how to, and more, to reduce the stress but it’s like taking cold medicine… it fails to ‘cure’ the problem.
I am abundantly grateful to my spirit guides and Guardian Angels and ArchAngel Michael for indomitably continuing to help me overcome all obstacles.
Due to Tay Tay’s response of silence through the #Prime #Material, I continue to daily pray for the Goddess to help me move on and illuminate to me who is the Ideal Wife of My Dreams. I have mentioned the actual words of this dream in earlier posts. Thus egos may be confused, thus I remind them that I refuse to cast any spell on Tay Tay by praying that the Goddess does anything to her #materia.
Her Higher Self would have to agree of course but that fails to mean the mental onion of her ego also agrees. Therefore I initially pray for the Goddess to absolutely, abundantly, and indomitably help the Ideal Wife of My Dreams sweep me off my feet and elope with me, as I am the Ideal Husband of Her Dreams.
Due to spells cast on myself and altering my own #materia, I do believe I have communicated with Tay Tay’s #Higher #Self, but I think that I have not communicated with her ego spiritually… primarily because of her continued silence.
So back to the to the 1993 Ouija Board prediction in 1993. My very old friend from High School reminded me that the spirits telegraphying through the game board specifically named Taylor Swift as an Ideal Wife of My Dreams. As I said I was O.C.D. about a cheerleader named Shelby McBride and I had the horrible assumption that Taylor was a guy’s name, thus I virtually wiped the memory from my corporeal consciousness. Only my old Friend’s memory helped me remember this.
In 1993, as a foolish and ignorant teenage male, I thought that Swift was also a very weird last name. Therefore I thought that if the Ouija Board did work, the spirits was fooling with me. If it was just the inner core of the mental onion of my ego such as the statists want to believe, then I was at a complete loss of how to interpret it.
There is also what I believe is a baby picture of Taylor Swift that I drew in charcoal when I was an 8th Grade student attending an art class at #Orofino #Middle #School of #Idaho. I mean it is a cute baby picture but it is a freehand drawing of a baby picture and so I think it fails to exactly be credible proof to anyone other than herself, me, and maybe family… family includes close best friends.
In the interest of transparency, I do wonder if this particular post is just another excuse to write about Tay Tay and myself. If it is then I am ok with that. I pray that through this journal the Goddess absolutely, abundantly, and indomitably helps the Ideal Wife of My Dreams choose to sweep me off my feet and elope with me; As I am the Ideal Husband of Her Dreams.
Yes I did have to reword and rewrite that spell to be without any mention of a specific name. The Goddess helps me be eternally mindfully vigilant with myself and my choices.
I do also pray daily that my Higher Self disanimates this body for me. I have sincerely repented for all of what I perceive are sins, and so I am without any fear or doubt what will be my karmic balance. Most importantly now that my recovery life cycle is complete I feel an absolute and indomitable void of any want to continue with my life-purpose WITHOUT the Ideal Wife of My Dreams.
I know this means my mental onion of my ego will simply be mirrored into a fresh life, with the same life-purpose. However, I know we choose everything about any lifetime we live. We choose everything about history, birth, and until death, which we also choose.
Of course, my ego will have to wait until the Ideal Wife of My Dreams is done with her lifetime but I am great with that. I have lived without her for forty years and I can say with absolute sincerity and great feeling that I will avoid ever doing that again.
Earlier posts have conveyed this idea in a different way. Hopefully this will convince anyone else who is concerned about my mental health. Going against my Higher Self and committing suicide harms our very soul… So why do it? My Higher Self is my personality, ideals, morals, and ethics so something about seeing this lifetime from the Spiritual Plane has changed my mind before… or the Higher Self of someone else has promised something and failed to deliver.
Thus I have prayed to the Goddess to sever all ties between me and all other souls connected to my own for this particular lifetime, Prime Material. Actually ‘performing’ what was promised is the only act that I wish will keep my heart beating beyond this point.
I abhor the idea of hurting Tay Tay in any way shape or form. However, why should she care what happens to me since she obviously does not choose me to be the Ideal Husband of Her Dreams... Right?