13♥00♥01♥09♥07: Dies Materia

Romans named it the Day of Saturn. I prefer the original Middle English name of Sunnanafen. That is their words for 'Sun' & 'Eve' put together.

I was thinking about romance novels today and how I would favor a novel about a male protagonist choosing both females who would otherwise rival each other for his love. The thought is about polyamory instead of polygamy which is misogynistic I believe.

I believe that everyone loves everyone else. Part of free will is the choice to choose to be blind to that love. The other part being to obey or rebel. Society and culture indoctrinate us into thinking similarly with the collective as a whole.

The scenario of one male and two females is simply biology. Men have a biological reason for jealousy added to the shared social and prevailing reasons with women.

Instead of me being misogynistic, I am simply stating biology. We must accept and embrace out animal nature or forever be ruled by it. Through acceptance and forgiveness we gain control.

A story could also be about one woman and two guys but my understanding of that in this lifecycle fails. I simply lack any interest in men outside of learning in general.

We already accept that we 'love' more than one person. Some simply choose to see 'romantic' love as somehow different. However evidence contrives against that theory. Observation-ally all 'romantic' adds to live is intimacy with another an that is very different from emotions.

Intimacy is simply sharing carnal knowledge with another. Society, culture, and biology dictate sharing intimacy outside of family is preferred. However, we are quickly approaching an age where biology will be removed from that reasoning because of genetic engineering. They will simply alter any negative mutations that do occur innately through even incest.

Within the first generation of an incestuous scenario, negative mutations only increase in probability by 7%; From a base 25%.

As long as both participants are above the age of consent and willing, personally I think incest is fine.  Except if one is a guardian/parent of another, it is evil until the progeny has moved out and lived away from the person for a period of time.  In that circumstance actual willingness for the younger person is irrelevant until they are capable of living on their own and have already done so.

I believe mind over matter and positive thinking so actually affecting any progeny negatively is negligible.  In addition to the new genetics options that seem to be growing every year.  People may balk at custom designing their kids to be supposedly superior.  However, the super majority seem to want the removal of actual illness and disease.

The rules against incest only ever started with Christians because Austrian's royal family tried 'purifying' their bloodline with inbreeding.  After a couple generations the physical manifestation of how wrong this was forced even the Vatican to prohibit it.  When practitioners ceased giving the Vatican governance power. The new governing bodies simply continued the laws that already existed and seemed like a good idea.

Note that I said this only occurred after 'several' generations of inbreeding.  The concept of 'mutant' babies from simply one generation is simply wrong at best, or fearmongering at worst.

Without biology, social and cultural morals and ethics are more easily overcome in both this and my overall thinking of Jealousy.

By prevailing I mean to suggest the reptilian mind within a woman wants a mate that will help her raise children. Money, career, family, health, society all play a roll in any individual case. Though each coupling is different.

For instance, Tay Tay absolutely and abundantly accepts, forgives, and embraces that I am more broke than Hillary Clinton knows is possible. She does this because the success with her career has removed her want for money or even family in a husband.

Since I am a virgin in relationships and physically I probably am with a clue about the emotional drama regarding polyamory. That is why I will wait for her to bring up, 'us' dating a woman together, on her own.

If my naivete means that this idea is wrong then I will be abundantly happy with that. By the Goddess's will I know what ever happens will be the scenario that helps me choose go be happy the most.

I want to read a couple series of romantic science fiction novels about this though to help me overcome a little of my naivete. Besides guarantied happy endings, romance novels automatically are good at helping to understand women, dating, and relationships in general. Afterall most romance novels seem to be written by women.

Thank you for sharing you time. May the Force be with you.

13♥00♥01♥09♥03: Dies Apollo

Day of War is Tuesday.  Weird are the names of days.  I am going to bed early tonight.  I want to put some objectives in Warcraft on hiatus to make room for more writing and playing other games.

Ares, Mars, or Tiw in Gaelic are who are innately honored by saying Tuesday.  I find it interesting how many people are praying to a god of war while consciously ignorant.

Wednesday honors Odin or The God: Woden that being what Germanic tribes called God.  All religions seem to be monothiestic even if the call a few lesser beings as 'a god'.  They still recognize they are neith omnipotent, omnipresent, or omnipotent such as God. {Woden}

I am really tired all of a sudden.  Barely remembered to do my nightly curse for the Goddess Woden's blessing.  Momma Byrd is bringing home a Cousins's Cinnamon Roll too.

However, it is better for my body if I eat the cinnamon roll in the morning instead of at night before I go to bed.  Then it would go straight to my Buddah belly.

As I plan I am choosing to let Woden act through me as She controls, directs, helps, inspires, manipulates, motivates me to manifest myself as the dream ideal husband of the ideal wives of my dreams.  Emotionally I am embracing what that life means to me and letting that power my thoughts.

Making the choice to be happier the most easiest is the me that is left;  To make room for Taylor Alison Swift.  The Goddess being the one to help me change what is left of me to create a void within myself that will either literally kill me or manifest whoever are my Ideal Wives.

I believe I know who the first is but I may be wrong so I focus my thoughts on who she and they are to 'me';  Instead of who she or they are specifically as individuals.  I only want to consciously control myself.

As a virgin with romantic relationships and sexually, I can be mistaken in believing that I want a polyamorous marriage of equals.  That is they have as much say and choice as I do.  Thus if Tay Tay only wants me then that is my answer, and I was previously wrong about wives.

Arigato gozaimasu for reading this journal entry.  I hope this helps others in some, or multiple, ways.  May the Goddess bless you and the Force always be with you.

13♥00♥01♥09♥01: Dies Materia

I feel better than I was feeling in my last post.  That is mostly from positive thinking.  I have started playing World of Warcraft with my parents again.  {edit} Now as I lay me down to sleep… oh! Want to curse to night as I mention later here.  I have been having sympathetic jet lag with Taylor Alison Swift.{/edit}

I am learning to forgive and love my materia for how it plays.  I want a specific future more than I want to continue this life.  However, I believe that loving and accepting myself will fuel that change.

All good scenarios enter life because change occured before hand, removing what was sine qua no to make room.  For this I truly must curse daily for the Goddess to help me with, because my vantage point is flawed and Hers is indomitable, omnipotent, and omnipresent.

Maintain openness to the Goddess's inspiration a perpetual effort.  That is whenever I recognize feeling extreme emotion, I calm myself and think positive thoughts.

I meditate exchanging aetheral Force with my mother, persisting an inch separation from our alternatng hands while we sit upright.

Almost constantly, I listen to Solfeggio Harmonics through a Brain Wave iPhone app.  I use it to help me sleep, creativity, Positive Thoughts mostly.  NonetheIess, just paid for the app with their entire discograph of 30 Binaural frequencies.

The Goddess helps me be consistent with this journal.  I seemed silly at first and it is not easy to be consistent.  However, it thinks it helps me recognize what I want to continue and grow in my life, as well as things I can remove.  It helps me recognize steps I want to take go get where I want to go;  Such as, making time to genuflect and curse to the Goddess when I wake up and go to bed.  That helps me increase my openness to Divine guidance.

Even asking the Goddess to help with wanting to play video games.  Of course I thought of why.  I want to play online video games with Tay Tay and our children;  So now I play with my parents, and that is an example of making room for her.  It could be anyone, and I focus as if it could be;  However, the Goddess seems insistent that it is her.

Stalking is an absolutely selfish thing and I have wrote about this before.  Controlling myself and my own body is the only options I have, that is true with 🌒🌕🌘 {all}.

{edit}Instead I the only future I accept is a future WITH My wives and children.   Goddess keeps insisting it is Tay Tay and agree but it is counter productive to think positively about her.  Rather I think about what this future scenario means to me, how I feel in it, and how it will help my choose to be happy more easily.

I think I know of some changes to help make room in my life for my polyamorous wives and children.  That is we will have each other more than any central figure.

Maybe Tay Tay dissapproves and that is fine.  I am unsure what road leads to greater help situationally to choose to be happy.  I feel there will be one and then I will leave it up to her and just focus on doing the most I can to help her with her wants.

As it is said:  The choice of happiness is without anything to do with any Chi other than self;  Including materia 'things'.  As 🌒🌕🌘 {all} has Chi, or a soul.

As I said Today I have been experiencing sympathetic jet lag with Tay Tay.  She just finished an Asian tour for her Red album and is flying back to sweep me off my feet and elope with me. 

During that time:  I was unable to sleep except for two three or four hours, Friday night and @ 05:00 Saturday.  However, I feel remarkably pleasant even despite being very tired, and that is not normal for me.{/edit} 

I am praying to the Goddess to control, direct, inspire, help, and motivate me to make room in my life for the change I want.

13♥00♥01♥08♥08: Dies Luna

Guess U feel sucidally depressed but that is kinda of normall for me.  I believe I will survive because nothing has changed in regards to suicidal tendencies.

Suicide is a selfish action, perhaps one the most selfish because everyone else gets to live with the decision.  So no, what I dream of is a quick painless accidental death.  I apologize for getting all melodramatic right off the bat but I only ever do what I want… wasting time on inconsequential fails to be what I want.

If a reader wonders why suicide, what I stated is exactly the point.  A phrase runs through my mind.  'You are who your friends are;  Or you are what you do.'  I am without friends except for my mother.  Everyone else is just an acquentence.  I do nothing, except write stories I have yet to publish and play video games.  By that logic I am nothing.

Please understand that publishing this on the www is without me asking for help by hyperbole.  I know how to get help.  The problem is that I know what I want to live with and that has not manifested.  I understand helping myself and I do that a lot.  However my problem is wanting someone to create a family with.

That would be absurd to most suicidal depressed people I am told.  However I do value and love myself.  I deserve and am worthy of being loved, joyful, and happy.

I think I am broken though because my own parents fail to understand when I say I can't do something.  They interpret the words as 'won't' do blank.  The point is my 'will' is exactly the problem, in some actions my will simply is absent.

Thus I am absent a function in some areas of life itself.

13♥00♥01♥08♥05

Listening to Neil Cavuto about Universities being 98% statist indoctrination propaganda machines spreading their mental illness to the young and ignorant.  I agree completely but I thought of a simple solution for concerned parents.

Simply require your children to attend the local community college for their first two year degree.  This cuts the among of time statist universities have to brainwash anyone.  Moreover, this educates the young to be slightly less ignorant.

By going to a community college, parents retain the ability to counter the indoctrinating propaganda and brainwashing from the intolerant statists.  This further prepares them for what they will face at the university, because lets be honest Statists are about as dull and unoriginal as watching paint dry or grass grow.

Of course, teenagers hate the idea of anyone forcing them to do anything, ironically considering how eager they are to jump into the lion's mouth.  However, this is the point of being a parent the additional years are supposed to be used to guide the children regardless of what they temporarily think they want in the 'now'.

The idea that children could go to 'college' without help is unlikely at best.  Federal Financial Aid fails to cover the outrageous tuition, books, and other fees the much vaunted elite universities choose to demand.  So again, money talks and parents should buck up and play hardball regardless of how horrible they may feel about it.  Later, their children will thank them for it in the end.

13♥00♥01♥08♥03

Soulless is a salaciously ebullient omega to the Parasol Protector series of books.  Miss Alexia Tarabotti is an urbane pragmatic heroine with a erudite sagacious bluestocking intellect.  While expatiating the her life and adventures, Mrs. Gail Carriger is adroit in her writing of late 18th century.  The novel is virtuoso as an example of SteamPunk Romantic fiction.

Alexia's mother, step-father, and two half-sisters have convinced her that she is ugly and unwanted as the story begins.  Mrs. Carriger is bravura with how she expatiates Alexia's interpersonal relationships.  Her mother is far from fitting, say, the stereotype of the wicked stepmother in some fanciful fable.  Her sisters are still mean except it is easy to see how they are a product of their environment mostly.

I disagree with Mrs. Carriger in how truly 'alone' such an avatar would be.  Seemingly other eccentric and deviant compatriots the Alexia should be acquainted are mentioned as existing, however she fails to see them in her future.  For instance, it is only in the fourth book that Alexia begins developing her own information gathering spiderweb with her oldest friend Ivy.

However, all authors are limited by their own perception of the world around them.  I far from mean any disrespect it simply is pragmatic.  :)

Naturally a solution is easier said than done;  However if I were to suggest an example:   I think it is entirely reasonable that other Academic students would keep in contact with Alexia as their lives changed.  These 'scientists' would be a valuable information gathering source.  There is more in my mind but that would be getting off topic.

Alexia has deep seated flaws in her psyche, however she does evolve and grow with the world around her.  The novel essentially begins in the middle of 'Alexia's story.  Even near the end of the book the reader is learning her interpersonal verity of the past.

The significant other to Alexia is Lord Conall Maccon, an Earl, therianthropic wolf who is in charge of the government agency responsible for managing the supernatural element in London and England as a whole.  Both characters have alpha personalities and so history that Mrs. Carriger skips with beginning the novel is backfilled with the two characters challenging each-other constantly.  The novel begins as their amorous emotions swells over how much they challenge each-other, that being a great deal.

I highly encourage those reading this far into this post to at least get this first book and begin reading.  Whether you enjoy steampunk, science, fantasy, or romantic fiction I abundantly ken that ye will enjoy the story as much as I do


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The purpose of me reading this particular novel is to help me understand Steampunk and romantic fiction.  With writing my own stories I am very exuberant with all the old Victorian era words Mrs. Carriger uses.  I bookmark them after I look their meaning up.  I am fascinated with how she literally writes as if Alexia is writing an autobiography.

Anyone who reads my other 'entries' realizes this site is a journal of sorts for me.  I leave it public with the hope that it may help someone else.  This particular entry however is a review of a steampunk romantic fiction I have read recently.

I am into the fourth book already but I may be going back to read the third at some point.  The events depicted in the first half of the book are indecorous with my tastes.  I read fiction to help me be happy and forget about depression among other things.

That is why I read various subgenres of romantic fiction, there is always a happy ending.  I read Science Fiction and Fantasy earlier in my life and grew dissatisfied with books being a tragedy half the time like say Ender's Game.  Great book, just beyond my interests.

13♥00♥00♥17♥14

Diaries seem like they should be written in every day… or at least have less than five months gap between entries.  Seemingly, I am extremely minutely selective with what I am consistent with or rules that ai follow… also, apparently both items share the same list and its size constriction.

I still beg/pray/curse/cast/spell/meditate on the Goddess manifesting me as the dream ideal husband of the ideal wife of my dreams; now; today; us absolutely, abundantly, eternally, implicitly, recuprocatingly admire, adore, and in love with each other and ourselves; control, direct, help, inspire, motivate us into matriomoneous bliss today.

I do value and love myself as an independent individual.  Though I understand my writings may appear otherwise.  Neglible is my desire yo control or 'own' anyone other than myself.  I am whole, beautiful, strong, powerful, loving, joyful, and happy.

However, I am done done with this lifecycle and this mortal coil;  Unless what stated earlier is made manifest through me, today.  I have learned how to deal with my chronic emotional and physical pain.  Yet, i am done with doing it anymore.

I know of two things that will help me the most to choose to be happy.  Heaven; another life; or Tay Tay.  However, I do acknowledge utimately happiness is my choice and only I can achieve it.  Others may help but they are incapable of doing it 'for' me.

My life as it is at an impass.  I am single, thirty nine year old, dirt poor and live with my awe inspiring mother and father.  I am a writer of science fiction romance stories and suffering from writer's block for a few years now.  I continually explore new ideas to get past the block but no joy so far.

I think I have mentioned before my absolute inexperience with an actual romantic girlfriend.  After it is to late, I learn of another's interest in me sometimes.  However I have been so wrapt up in my own pain that I have been an idiot for the most part.

In addition, my physical pain has greatly impacted my mostly sedentary life style.  The longer I stand/walk the more pain I am in until I collapse.  The actual timing varies and my current success with weightloss seems to have helped a little with pain and a lot with fatigue.

So yes, only I can change this.  I have already stated possible course changes.  How does one collide without the other entity to collide into?

Thus I am back to praying/cursing/meditating/spelling/casting for the Goddess to control, direct, help, inspire, and motivate me to manifest myself as who I want to be.

13♥00♥00♥17♥14

Mayan Date: 13♥00♥00♥17♥14

Tuesday: α, β, θ, δ

So yesterday was a Tayday and that is a pretty big deal.

Today I wake up fifteen hours after going to bed last night; 10:30.  My Mother has been chain calling me freqking out about some debt charges.  However she calmed down when I said it is for Kindle books…

Mother gave some lame excuse for making it exciting;  So I suspect it hs to do with Christmas presents.

Of course I am very grateful if my parents got me anything.  They do a lot for me already.

Yet today is quickly heading into α category.  The negative fog is dampening all feelings, and the standard tricks to fight it are less effective: like forcing myself to smile, think about someone I am blissfully in love with {Taylor Alison Swift}, et cetera

Therefore I am going back to bed.  As normal, i pray the Goddess and Her angels severe/separate/take me from this life unless my Ideal Wife {whomever} and I elope now/today and begin our Ideal Marriage/Family.

I am so very tired of living a life that is other than what I want.  I know I am the one who got me here.  At one time I DID want this life but that time hss long since passed.

So yes a new beginning would be beautiful.

Google's messed with blogger and is lreventing me from editing posts.  Hopefully, I just need to update the program on my iPhone.

… 01:21 …

I woke up about 13:00, so I guess this fits.  I felt better at first but right now it is drudging the α barrell.  The only benefit is that I feel never-never-land waiting behind my eyes.

Maybe Peter Pan and I will get something sexy going with Tinkerbell.  Thst way I can forget about coming back to this Prime Material ever.  It's evidently through with me, and I am definitely through with being in constant pain.

Maybe will see if my reinstall of Blogger's iPhone App allows me to edit posts again.