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Mayan Date: 13♥00♥00♥17♥08

Wednesday,

I awoke around 07:30, looking at a clock failed to be a high priority.

I updated some tasks on Taylor Alison Swift's, and my, GoT: Ascent characters. 

Then I watched last night's s09e09 of Supernatural "Holy Terror".  I think the writers should have kept Kevin, the prophet, alive;  Letting him get assasinated by Godzillel is wrong.

Sam and Dean should begin to build something 'good' with the bunker as home.  The place is supposed to be a small underground city/sanctuary instead of a bachelor pad.

After nine seasons Sam and Dean should have more than a couple groupies.  Especially with 'God' putting their story out on the internet.  Their story is popular in our Prime Material.  Thus their Prime material's publik should love it too.

Now I am taking a mid day nap.  I want to overcome this depressive imbalance I'm currently feeling.

I am leaving my door open to let Ariel Miss Scarlett {mb Tay Tay} sleep in bed with me.

Be well

… 18:50 …

The map was rather poor, woke up two hours later with only this post to show for it.

Leaving the door open was a mistake.  Ariel does not quiet down fast enough.

I watched a couple episodes of Haven's latest season and am caught up now… just in time for their Winter Solstice rerun break.

I think Mr. Stephen King should stay away from Audrey's past unlike he is in this fourth season.  He is explaining too much too quickly.

Better would have William be a different Haven's 'Audrey'.  I mean as in another town somewhere else with a different name but same 'troubles'.  And 'William' did end up killing the woman he loved.  Say it was an accident but…

However such a character does not exist.  It is as if Mr. King is wanting to end the television show and 'wrap up' the story.  I hope that i am wrong.

I think I will be giving the second G.o.T.:A. toon to Tay Tay soon.  I have been feeling different thoughts lately… or its all just a goblin {thoughts of doubt and other Dark Side feelings of the frequency of Light.}

Such energies are Dark/Light based on what frequencies our brain emits when focusing on a feeling;  Therefore, what half of the spectrum of Light they fall means they are light or dark.  As a 'sunspot' on Sol still emits light, just less than the surrounding surface;  Therefore sunspots are 'perceived' as dark.

I wonder what I am getting out of this.  However, is this journal being publik, indirectly or directly helps someone else make the choice to be halpy then that is awesome.

Keeping this journal is just somewhat humbling.  Or maybe it will help a future more experienced version of me with something(s).

I did the dishes today. This is big because my depression related apathy knows no bounds.  However, I someone has to help my mother and my father's chauvanistic attitude about what is 'proper' keeps him paralized.

I pray that the current attitude of my father's:  That the two people with Rheumatoid Arthritis in the family should do all the house work…  comes to a screeching halt and 180 degrees turn around.

I believe that I know what is driving my Dad to act this way;  It ties into how he acts in other ways.  He is entirely too concerned with what is 'proper' or propriety in general.

I wish this is one 'trait' that inheritance fails to pass on to me.  I want to avoid acting this way towards my Ideal Wife {mb Tay Tay} or our thirteen children.

I find it interesting that most of the character traits my father complains about in me, comes from him.  Yet he remains oblivious to where I get it from.

Most of the time I compel myself to change the traits my Father mentions because I have little use for them either.  They fail to help me with the choice to be happy in variety of ways.

Thank you for sharing your time and Force.  Be Well.

13♥00♥00♥17♥07

Tuesday, 13♥00♥00♥17♥07

Someone said that if you repeat yourself three times, it becomes a habit.  That may explain why I am typing this journal entry now instead of skipping a day. 

I got going this morning on time.  However, my parents {who like to drive me to Spokane and back} namely my father likes to complain.  When there is nothing to complain about he invents one.  Like me suddenly being 'late' when I was 5 min early.

So today started with me ignoring my father half the trip.  Why waste my time and lower my frequency just to play an angry verbal sparing game.  A game I never like to win because then he just invents something else and the emotion from before continues unabated… So no, I'll just be quiet and think happy thoughts and meditate.

While writing more on my first novel.

My trick of ignoring father only partially because he tries getting under my skin by telling me what to do.  Suddenly I am expected to shut the laptop off five minutes before we reach any destination…

I soo dream of expanding my iPhone into an Ipad. 😒

So we get yo the appointment so early the doctor sees me an hour early…. 'cause I was soooo super late?  Rhetorical question.

I logged onto the Game of Thrones: Ascent long enough to further todays daily reward, and set a few of the hour long timers going again.

I am reincarnating two characters to open up all the fealty buildings for both toons.

The second toon is for my Ideal Wife {mb Taylor Alison Swift} to play on the game, with me.  It is fun but running two toons is too intensive for what it is worth to me.

We got home at around 16:30.  Our Britney Spaniel, Ariel Miss Scarlett, is absolutely and abundantly joyful and happy to see her pack return.  Showering me and mom with doggy kisses.

I saw a few women I definitely would go out with if the opportunity presented itself.  I saw a blonde at Yokes in Pasco, and she blanked my mind for a second.

Yes, I percieve the Goddess as having shown that Tay Tay is my Ideal Wife. That has zero to do with appreciating beauty, or the fact that sometimes I am wrong.  I desperately 'want' to be wrong about Her because all she seems to do is ignore me.

I am far from mad, or any other negative emotion, about that.  If Tay Tay truly does reject my romantic interest in her then that is her choice.  Stalking her or being boligerent would be selfish of me and have the opposite effect of what I want.

I do refuse to take silence as an answer, however, I live my own life and pray.  Loving someone means supporting whatever decisions they make in life, even if I perceive it as hurting me…

Though, I do believe that for them to make that decision means they are disharmonious from being 'Ideal' in any ways.

I spell for the Goddess to help me know what is true…  to control, direct, help, inspire, and motivate me to be the Ideal Husband to the Ideal Wife and Ideal Family that I want.  I spell for the Goddess to help me move on and past Tay Tay, and onto my Ideal Wife.

Hence, why I feel Tay Tay is… or 'will be' my Ideal.  Here is where people say I am crazy though.  I am through waiting though and will force my slirit to vacate this mortal coil.

Hell is a myth… part of the matrix created by the District of Columbia, meant to keep souls here even if they are 'living in hell'. Only the self can damn thy own self.  The Goddess loves all withought condition.

After almost 39 years of abundant pain and misery, I have reached the end.  I have found a way out of it.  I have been, am, and will always be healing my psyche from whatever past life trauma caused this episode.  I think our psyche are always heing damaged by life itself.

As our own body regenerates to replace cells that die off.  Life is constantly damaging our mortal coils too, and so too must we 'heal' our psyche.  By being positive, law of attraction, and most importantly believing and having faith in the Goddess.  Any religion 'can' serve this function.

I have been imagining a spiritual path, religion, that helps the aggregate the most to choose to be happy… to choose to heal their psyche.