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Tuesday, 13♥00♥00♥17♥07

Someone said that if you repeat yourself three times, it becomes a habit.  That may explain why I am typing this journal entry now instead of skipping a day. 

I got going this morning on time.  However, my parents {who like to drive me to Spokane and back} namely my father likes to complain.  When there is nothing to complain about he invents one.  Like me suddenly being 'late' when I was 5 min early.

So today started with me ignoring my father half the trip.  Why waste my time and lower my frequency just to play an angry verbal sparing game.  A game I never like to win because then he just invents something else and the emotion from before continues unabated… So no, I'll just be quiet and think happy thoughts and meditate.

While writing more on my first novel.

My trick of ignoring father only partially because he tries getting under my skin by telling me what to do.  Suddenly I am expected to shut the laptop off five minutes before we reach any destination…

I soo dream of expanding my iPhone into an Ipad. 😒

So we get yo the appointment so early the doctor sees me an hour early…. 'cause I was soooo super late?  Rhetorical question.

I logged onto the Game of Thrones: Ascent long enough to further todays daily reward, and set a few of the hour long timers going again.

I am reincarnating two characters to open up all the fealty buildings for both toons.

The second toon is for my Ideal Wife {mb Taylor Alison Swift} to play on the game, with me.  It is fun but running two toons is too intensive for what it is worth to me.

We got home at around 16:30.  Our Britney Spaniel, Ariel Miss Scarlett, is absolutely and abundantly joyful and happy to see her pack return.  Showering me and mom with doggy kisses.

I saw a few women I definitely would go out with if the opportunity presented itself.  I saw a blonde at Yokes in Pasco, and she blanked my mind for a second.

Yes, I percieve the Goddess as having shown that Tay Tay is my Ideal Wife. That has zero to do with appreciating beauty, or the fact that sometimes I am wrong.  I desperately 'want' to be wrong about Her because all she seems to do is ignore me.

I am far from mad, or any other negative emotion, about that.  If Tay Tay truly does reject my romantic interest in her then that is her choice.  Stalking her or being boligerent would be selfish of me and have the opposite effect of what I want.

I do refuse to take silence as an answer, however, I live my own life and pray.  Loving someone means supporting whatever decisions they make in life, even if I perceive it as hurting me…

Though, I do believe that for them to make that decision means they are disharmonious from being 'Ideal' in any ways.

I spell for the Goddess to help me know what is true…  to control, direct, help, inspire, and motivate me to be the Ideal Husband to the Ideal Wife and Ideal Family that I want.  I spell for the Goddess to help me move on and past Tay Tay, and onto my Ideal Wife.

Hence, why I feel Tay Tay is… or 'will be' my Ideal.  Here is where people say I am crazy though.  I am through waiting though and will force my slirit to vacate this mortal coil.

Hell is a myth… part of the matrix created by the District of Columbia, meant to keep souls here even if they are 'living in hell'. Only the self can damn thy own self.  The Goddess loves all withought condition.

After almost 39 years of abundant pain and misery, I have reached the end.  I have found a way out of it.  I have been, am, and will always be healing my psyche from whatever past life trauma caused this episode.  I think our psyche are always heing damaged by life itself.

As our own body regenerates to replace cells that die off.  Life is constantly damaging our mortal coils too, and so too must we 'heal' our psyche.  By being positive, law of attraction, and most importantly believing and having faith in the Goddess.  Any religion 'can' serve this function.

I have been imagining a spiritual path, religion, that helps the aggregate the most to choose to be happy… to choose to heal their psyche.

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Monday, 13♥00♥00♥17♥06

Tomorrow my mother says she will go with me to Spokane for my quarterly trail drug check in @ Arthritis Northwest.

I'm a poor starving artist & I refuse to take POTUS Soetoro's universal misery monopoly money for my severe Rheumatoid Arthritis.  Pain and I, are on the outs this life-cycle.  Thus I volunteer to be a guinee pig for testing the latest and greatest drugs they are inventing.

Of course, I'd be long dead without what charity my parents are willing to give.  That is also the better alternative to government benevolence programs.  Family, and if you notice Hollywood and District of Columbia have been attacking and discouraging families from helping each other.

The pain is why I am limited from drudgery paying work.  They inveribly want me to stand for long periods of time and/or walk places.  My body is incapable of such sustained effort… short periods of time I manage well enough.

Then there are my psyche mental illness that I have been healing lately.  As a by-product I see past self as a very impulsive, chaotic, and inconsistent sapient.  I trick myself into 'feeling' what I want, if necessary… otherwise it is as if I am verbally arguing with my hand to move a certain way.

Lately, I have learned the wonderful world of spell casting, or prayer, as Christians call it.  The Goddess has helps my continued existence to be possible.

@ 11:13 I am hoing to get some more food in my stomach and maybe take a nap.  I let the Goddess and her angels guide me through the details.  So I might end up writing more on my first novel becore or after.

I created a spreadsheet on Google Drive that auto-publishes to a web url for my mother to see to help her balance her checkbook and keep track of money I save and spending.  Took me a couple hours to figure out how to do 'spreadsheet' math… crazy.

… 21:52 …

I drank a couple Ideal Protien shakes earlier.

Though I also ate some turkey mom cooked tonight after she got home from work.

Moreover, I just had a couple handfuls of the chocolate covered almonds that Grandma Ryan brought for thanksgiving, but left for us to have last weekend.

I watched and hour or so of another episode of Haven… Countdown I think the episode was called.  Instead of writing more on my first novel.

I'll bring the old laptop to write more during the trip to the Doctors.  It's great for writing but I look forward to using one of the new 128GB white iPads.

I have little idea how I will get one but i leave the details for the Goddess.  She is smarter, more wise, and has a much better perception of my Qabbalah for planing and strategy.

I am enjoying writing this journal.  The actual benefit for me is a bit foggy to me;  Yet I do know that it helps me make the choice to feel happy more.

One of my Mom's awesome friends at work found he has a benign brain tumor.  So Mom and I cast a spell tonight for the Goddess to help Criag and his family to choose to be happy through this crucible.

Apparently Craig's two daughters are spoiled princesses, who've been brainwashed to be one of the District of Columbia's "useful idiots" by public schools and the lame stream media.  Hopefully they realize what is important and start supporting the Tea Party and liberalism {libertarian} before their father is taken from them to increase the gravity of the lesson their higher selves wish to learn.